Idk going to find out. I will be leaving the site. I realize I'm not competent enough to interact with normal people. Maybe I'll come back when I feel more human and I actually talk to people instead of ranting about my self and my views. Something made me not trust my narcissist self again which lead me to want to leave here and go discover more mechanisms so I can prevent them I already made multiple breakthroughs. But, yall have seen enough of my bullshit so I won't share. Sorry for trauma dumping. Sorry for sharing unasked for views. Thanks for tolerating a narcissist.

I return to this every now and then. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgt1QcfivRg

https://i.ibb.co/xtX7WsKM/nijika.png So I wanted to have fun taking Nijika from Bocchi the Rock and re-imagine her character if she was a major idol and hit it big. During the whole anime, she is just the background drummer supporting character. Nijika has a big bow tie on a T shirt and some suspender straps going over it. I'm no fashion expert, but oof. https://i.ibb.co/C3QqXmtf/screenshot.png Lets jump some years ahead and imagine she hit it big as a band idol. In the anime and manga, Nijika is just a supporting character. She never takes the spotlight, she never talks about herself. It's for that reason she needs to have a more bold outfit to stand out. I decided to go with a choker instead of a ribbon because it looks more mature for an older adult. I kept the color scheme of red, white, black. Nijika is both the caretaker of her household and the band, so I gave her an outfit that has more of "ara ara" energy to it. I got the star on the choker to symbolize the venue she calls her home, STARRY. It sits close to her heart. I gave her a spider lily hair ornament to symbolize how much the death of her mother affected her life. It also represents her feelings towards her father. When their mother died, her father was supposed to be the caretaker, but he was either divorced or for whatever reason created a bad home environment that constantly made Nijika's older sister Seika run away. Nijika has feelings of resentment towards her father who dumped everything on her, so in a way, he is dead to her. Finally I decided the Oishi no Ko eyes because if you ever seen the anime, its all about lying about the persona you present on stage. It was pretty fun to do some character design brainstorming. I might do it again sometime.

@gabriel_true Day 80: We found some extra money today to give to our mom so she can get dinner tonight. God is good and continues to provide even when we think we're stuck. I can't wait to be in a place financially where we can afford/eat things normally, but until then, we trust God to make ways out of no way. - I Definitely WILL NOT Be Leaning On My Own Understanding or I'll Surely Fail: Ying-Ying

https://youtu.be/NS9REckGa5c?si=CEE8YGRSe_gyCb4j https://youtu.be/hdbszAeSlcs?si=UNhbtKSrrxwKcrpN https://youtu.be/tIj-9DVQm5Y?si=Smr9hcTLP9gB8Dch

I'm happy that I sometimes spread the gospel in my dreams while ducking a cold world. Because dreams show what's really in your psyche. They show you what you really like without the chains. Just instinct. I'm happy my instinct is to fight in a world I don't recognize sometimes. Anyway, I was on the verge of getting raped in my dream last night. And, I finally understand how violating, powerless, and disgusting it feels. I recently gave someone on tiktok 200$ cause they said they want to give up on life and God because they are having financial trouble and they was raped as a child by there parents and just had a terrible life overall. I thought maybe they are milking it but gave anyway. Later I had that dream now I can kinda feel what they went through if only a bit. Rape is terrible traumatic event and I feel sorry for people that have been through that.

we are now in the era where anybody can write a couple of prompts and make anime video+voice+background music all in one video https://pixai.art/artwork/1963014242293055571?utm_source=copy_web I didn't think this would hit so fast