Just had a breakthrough. I finally stopped letting my emotions dictate how I feel about God. I isolated the feelings and I told them idc how you feel about God or the situation you are not the judge of my God. Honestly got me and God f'd up. Even if he doesn't grant my request for a heart of flesh or makes me wait and wait and wait with that strong insane hurting feeling yeah I'm talking to you I tell that feeling to get off of God throne he is in charge hush your resentment about the situation personally I'll hear or partake in none of it. I trust God. What's meant for me is meant for me what is not is not. It's as the Lord wills it. I hurt deeply but my hurt doesn't get the final say about God. Edit: I feel stupid for trusting him don't care I feel hurt by him don't care I feel let down by him don't care I feel deceived by him don't care. I really don't care what these emotions have to say about God I'm a soldier and it seems I have acquired some backbone thanks to Jesus. Just like a soldier who must complete a mission you can't let emotions cloud your judgment and make you abandon the mission or fight like your heart and mind not in it. I'm not kicking emotions out of my life just off God's throne.

Please don't take your hearts for granted. I wish I could experience what everyone experience. https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUybTV0YjQ1bmVzcnZuYzV6dTJjZWdibnFhYzI1ODY5bXFnYTlmMnFmdyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/05njtoxU99m9g3lus9/giphy.gif

I wish and pray for you and your family to be in good health and happiness, also strength and patience during difficult times.

twitch.tv/qimozabi Come watch me quickload every 5 seconds because I wanna see every outcome b4 making a decision, just like any other NORMAL human being

i feel this site is always gonna be here. I even started paying for the membership. it's cheap, it's fun here & damn it they deserve every penny +!

Ahoy. Today was surprisingly quiet. I didn't have to puppy sit and the kittens have adjusted to the house. We switch between my room and sister's room to keep a kitten-free space so Miso can decompress from them. lol Anyway, back to working on Queen Among Monsters. Sorry I didn't post anything today. I didn't get to sleep until 4am. Same sleeping issues as before. I woke up at 13:00(1pm) and I'm still tired af. But I can't go to sleep early because I have to drive little brother to work at 22:00(10pm).