Starting to understand the core wound of narcissism better... It says what about me. Am I in this and that did they forget about me? I'm great did they forget about me? I have to remind them. Some uncontrollable deep desire inside me wants to be acknowledged and not forgotten. The counter I found is saying what about you as if you require special attention because in your mind you feel special. Still trying to figure it out maybe more will come to me. Trying to be more grounded. I'm glad nobody here treated me special or I would of missed this gap in my awareness. I gotta work this out with God. Edit: I'm at a middle ground I don't require special attention as if it is only right you give me your attention as if the world revolves around me. I'll ask for attention in the future going forward on matters I think are important if I ever get the chance to help other narcissists. May I have your attention to this matter please is what I will say. And, acknowledge I may not be worthy of others attention. But, please hear me out. That's more grounded.

That verse from I think Adele song where she says... I can't love you in the dark it feels like we oceans apart It stuck with me it's hard to love God when we going through trails and tribulations and feel like we in darkness it can feel like we oceans apart from God. In the darkness when everything is going bad it's hard to love God. We can't see his grace, mercy, favor, and love in the dark. It feels like his love is oceans apart from us. The tension from trying to love God when it's truly dark is real that's why that verse hits so hard to me because my heart desires and wants to love God even in the dark but I find myself failing. I see things are going bad so God must be far from me that's what your eyes tell you. Faith says... 2 Corinthians 5:7 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight Isaiah 41:10 10 So do not fear, for I am with you do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Tried to keep it short.

Welp guess im playing PEAK! https://youtu.be/DllRqzSwliY?si=UrmoSdGRqb9G4EIA

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1. What kind of noodles are your favorite? - Spicy. 2. Do you have a favorite accent? - I don't think I have one. 3. Which of your friends (in general) is from the furthest away from you? - One of my online friends lives in California. 4. Have you ever made your own soap? - No, but it would be fun to try. 5. If you were walking in the woods and came across a black bear, what would you do? - Try to stay calm and back away slowly.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUZwblurraA And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same. They can't see me, but I'm still here. They can't tell me who to be. 'Cause I'm not what they see. Yeah, the world is still sleepin'. While I keep dreaming for me. And their words are just whispers And lies that I'll never believe.