Ngl I hope this site becomes revitalized and has consistent new blood flow in through some means, because I do miss how MO used to be when connecting with others. Would be nice to actually run into someone who wants to reach out as much as I do. Feels like I gotta initiate every interaction because I don’t get contacted. Had three to five women tell me they are into me this past month and they disappeared. Talking to someone irl ends with them lying about something to me like having a secret onlyfans or their age to just go on a date with me. Then apps…don’t even get me started with the chick who messaged once matched “hey you are really cute would you be down to collab with me for OF content tonight at my place”! What has society come to that as a man these are our options when those of us that value actual connection get bumped down to roster picks for a draft pick?!? I know I’m picky but this is ridiculous on how much delusion is running rampant in the dating scene. Before anyone suggests going to clubs or bars, I actually do frequently and it is always couples paired up together or older women looking to have sex for a night, and I value myself more than that ironically enough.

Buddy Bars, are some Delicious Deals™ alright! Up there with name brand Nutty Buddies if you ask me. And the best part is ya ain't gotta nut to get into these, buds!

Listen, if I was getting married the only thing I would be buying her is a Ring Pop! https://sweettreatsin.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Blue-Raspberry-Ring-Pop.jpg Cause we ain't no suckers!

Stopped by the Dollar Tree and found some neat stuff including a Chainsaw Man poster for $5! Also got these nifty cat toys that are designed to look like bags of chips! (Crisps for you UK'ers)

Ah, it seems obtaining a credit card in Russia is indeed the most frustrating game in today's economy! https://youtu.be/F8L2cI8brzQ?si=ZY8-w6rgc0I1iAm_ Guess I gotta stick to paying in cold hard Rubels until I can get my Soviet credit report on good terms with the Kremlin. https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-22-2023/Mlh3bq.gif

I tell ya what, today I had some surgical precision done on my big toe! Felt that needle go straight into the bone! Ain't not joke watching the doctor peel the skin back with blood squirting everywhere and the dude is just casually talking to me about my job, heh. Dude asked if I wanted to help in my own procedure and handed me the forceps. Ya know, forceps, the thing you people keep advertising on here. Yeah I got to wield the almighty power of the forceps...with precision when making the incision! It was a marvelous experience, you should have been there!

Being a narcissist and schizophrenic is tricky and hard. Cause on one end your a narcissist who did terrible things. And, on the other end your schizophrenic so the voices abuse feels normal. You learn to accept the abuse as a way of life. But, I realized the voices only want the annihilation of my self worth. They want me blind to the fact that even with narcissistic traits and patterns that does not mean I STOP BEING HUMAN or become UNWORTHY OF COMPASSION. My gf has alot of compassion for me. My baby momma has alot of compassion for me. My mom has alot of compassion for me. So why do I think God wouldn't have compassion on me when he's better than all of us. I know how to maintain self worth / self esteem cause I fought for 7 years and accomplished alot. But, the voices have a trick if they tell you enough times how worthless you is you begin to think you belong there under there torment. I don't belong in a place of no compassion. I don't belong in a place that eats up my compassion for myself. And, staying there only makes me blind to those who would have compassion on me. They just want me use to staying in that place of no compassion they create so I think it's normal. It's not normal people can have compassion on themselves. People have showed me compassion. God is more compassionate than I realize. I'm not some non human blight you can just beat and I'm supposed to shrivel up and take it and agree this is what i deserve. I'm also human and allowed to have compassion on myself. I know they just want to annihilate my self worth. God often gives us better than we deserve. But, they would try to trick me that there is no compassion for me. They would try to trick me out of compassion for myself. Anyway, that's all I have to say on the subject. Glory to Jesus for helping me understand this

As I thought would happen, my mom blew over $100 at that casino. She started out $50 ahead, but of course she couldn't walk away... *Sigh* $100 might not sound like much to the average high roller; however, when someone is living off Social Security, it kind of is. https://sonatano1.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/kaiji5.png

I went with my mother the other day to see Sheep Detectives featuring Hugh Jackman as the shepherd. The story wasn't what I expected in a good way. I might have shed a manly tear or three...*sniffles* https://youtu.be/JSsGiEabHPY?si=CmNIO43m39JJSL6v