WillWorkForIsekai

Lol letting go of your pride in intelligence is hard. I mean it's quick and easy I get it. But, there's always that nagging feeling to tell someone something. I fought narcissism and schizophrenia for 5+ years I learned alot but how much of it is valuable. I think I'm a big deal who knows or heard of a narcissist that fights for light and is aware and is as vulnerable as me. But what I think is valuable information isn't really valuable to others. I spit all I could spit here. If anything I hope I brought someone closer to God. Or atleast made someone think about the idea of God. I'm tired of trying to control people that's what's really wrong. If people don't see value in my information that's fine. I only pushed my self here because I worry about others whether they know God and the devil exist. I think I'm ready to give up the grandiose idea that I'm somebody important or special that will be ready when the narcissists or other humans are ready to fight. Holding myself to a perfect standard for them in order to be ready to help. I'm tired of seeming like a crazy man and pretending to be crazy. I can finally let go of my pride in my intelligence because the only person I need to worry about helping is myself and those close to me. There's not enough caring people as is. But, they don't feel me. I'm tired of chasing after humans making things perfect for them and they still don't feel me. I feel like a dog or errand boy. Which I like because i like helping just tell me what you want and i will find it. I care more about they soul than they do. But, I realize the knowledge is only perfect in my own mind. It doesn't translate. How much time have I wasted. If I think about it I got smarter chasing after you to give you my presents of information if not for caring for others I wouldn't even fought so hard. But, it's time to end this I can't save others with my knowledge but I can save myself from this disease which starts with no longer having pride in my intelligence because I'm not chasing after people no more. So I don't have to be special or important as in the information in my mind is special or important and I must tell someone I'd rather stop the chase and admit to myself that there's nothing special or important in my mind. It's going against that nagging feeling but I know I can strike another blow to narcissism by letting people be free and out of my control. People were always out of my control it's not like I'm trying to control I'm just trying to help. People can help themselves they don't need a obsessed narcissist chasing after with information he thinks is helpful out of all my anayzle of regular humans I still don't get them. But, I know if I give up chasing them I can fix my pride in my intelligence. And, I can stop trying to control people. People will be ok without me. I'm not very smart. So I will trust in the people intelligence and the human spirit and focus on defeating narcissism I can't let go of my specialness if I'm chasing after others. Cause what I have to bring to them must be special for them. Imma peace out now yall sorry for being so intrusive on the forums for those that interacted with me thank you. Fr this time lol.