(1:31 PM Sun.) Happy November 1st everyone! I hope everyone's month is starting off great? It's my second oldest sister's Birthday today, so I'm chillin' upstairs with my family while the Birthday girl scrapbooks and draws (she's an artist). Other than that, the end of October was definitely interesting. It's interesting because I ate a cricket yesterday...my sister got them from a store cause she always wanted to taste them, so I decided to try one because if she does something, there's a high chance that I'll try it too. The flavor of crickets were sour cream and onion, and...they surprisingly weren't bad, just very bland, like the shell of a sunflower seed in taste. It's surprising I even held one, let alone eating a cricket, cause if you were able to see me irl you'd quickly see how terrified I am of nature in general lol. I can at least say I tried a cricket. But, you'll NEVER see me trying or holding a spider, dead or alive.

I'm stepping off the path of faith. I'm unserious. And, I'm tired of rocking the boat and I ain't even on the team. The voices leave me alone when I'm not telling the truth or trying to get closer to God. 7 years of going hard against narcissism and schizophrenia. I'm finally at the point where I chose peace. Fuck being a weapon for people who won't even appreciate or notice your sacrifice. Good get rewarded with evil. And, I'm not a strong enough weapon to withstand the storm of blows for 7 years of battling alone. Saying Imma die bout this shit and them they need someone to die bout them. Now I'm just minding my business. Peace is better. I adopted the mindset that none of this has any meaning it's to absurd and I found freedom in that. No I don't need correction I literally just don't care about God anymore. Imma just keep my head down cause good get rewarded with evil. And, God ain't giving out enough buffs for me. Imma just play my part the narcissist who knows nothing about God and his ways. And, go my own way. Wasn't cut out for it anyway. The most I'll do now is a simple prayer out of habit that's all. I'm not cut out for saving people. A narcissist did take a stand though I'd say 7 years is enough to be proud so don't try me like I didn't. I can say to God this world fate I tried and don't try me like I didn't. Now that the heat off me I can focus on my gf and kids nothing else really has meaning. Carrying all this heat just for the relationship to be well below average. Yeah I'm good on that. Now I lay low

Off to Orlando for the official Sonic the Hedgehog Live Concert! I was super bummed a couple years ago when I missed the Sonic Symphony tour. Been busting my butt working and handling family matters, but tonight I rock the night away! I think I may have posted about this earlier, but anyone else checking tgis concert out at one of its locations? https://sonicliveinconcert.com/

100% what @wei_ying said, because if you are having such high standards that aren’t met yourself to equal it out then you are going to fight an uphill battle of disappointment after disappointment. Proof is when I was 308lbs and kept going for super attractive women when, I, myself didn’t even meet the same standards I set up. Led to me being cheated on multiple times, situationship, abuse, and trauma. It’s best to focus on yourself and what makes you happy gaining some progress. Then eventually they will just pop up from what I have been told.

I just carried these bois. I got a Savage aswell lol first savage back since playing I'm de rusting. Granger that guy they double team me in my lane and still couldn't stop me.

The people who say "everyone's a little autistic" or "everyone's a little neurodivergent" are the same type of obnoxious people who go drink beer and when they hear James Talarico say Jesus would flip tables in the Supreme Court, they would say, "He should have done that in the first place."

today I did my standard 100 pushup (standard, diamond, archer sets of 10) and the standard 60 pull ups. However today I decided to break my pull ups into sets of 10 instead of sets of 5 to build up my muscular endurance. I really want to be able to do 20 in a row some day. Today I managed to get it all done in 25 minutes so I shaved off 5 minutes! I really need to integrate sets of squats in my workout but I really hate doing them...

Oh no, oh no indeed. NNN is coming. The dreaded, the despised, and the despaired. Get your final goons out boys, we have an oncoming yearly hell to face all too soon.