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Fun or responsible?

neet_one
Aug 07, 22 at 2:09pm
So some backstory here. I recently moved in with some guys I only knew online. As it turned out, they're lazy slobs and pretty unreliable too. They're pretty much always drinking and playing videogames, one of my room mates even seems to like drinking on the job and driving home drunk. I have to keep reminding them to take care of things they really shouldn't ignore, like how they seem to be indifferent about driving on nearly flat tires. I've tried to keep my area clean and organized, but pretty much everything outside of my room has been a mess since I got here, I ended up having to clean up after them because it was clear they weren't going to. Anyways, one of them has called me a stick in the mud a few times now, and the other keeps calling me dad & pops. Early this week I got to know a coworker who said I was hard to approach at first because I seemed so serious. I guess I'm just not much "fun" to be around. Got me to thinking about it, and how most people want someone to be 'fun'. I mean, I'm fine with who I am even if most other people aren't. Whelp as for the point of the topic here, I can guess how most people here would answer, but do you think it's better to be a fun carefree type, or a clean cut responsible type? And which do you prefer in other people? Would you rather be around someone who's boring but responsible, or someone who's a mess but fun?
momoichi
Aug 07, 22 at 2:26pm
balance is the key to most things. embrace the symbolism of the mullet; business *and* party. its fine to be fun, but not wishy washy, and being serious when it comes to your job seems more like a virtue. i can understanding not feeling comfortable with someone who can dampen someone else's mood, but there's nothing wrong with having a quiet nature or being serious about specific things. that should be respected by others. i think being lighthearted is a great quality, preferable to someone whos naturally taciturn, but never to the point of negligence.
verucassault
Aug 07, 22 at 2:32pm
I would rather be with someone who is clean than someone that is fun and messy. Some of the time, I enjoy cleaning, making things look nice, but I do not enjoy picking up or cleaning after others. One of my biggest pet peeves involves the kitchen - not throwing away trash, leaving dishes sitting until everything on them dries, or leaving crumbs or various fluids on the counters. This reminded me of a time I had a roommate and they had made dinner, invited a couple of family members over and then also invited me to eat dinner with them. But then when dinner was over roommate expected me to clean up. LOL I understand pitching in and helping clean up a kitchen, but when I cook, I clean as I make food. I would rather clean, standing by the stove monitoring what I'm making rather than watch TV or play on my phone while things simmer. It saves time. Not everybody does that. Roommate didn't do that and then expected me to clean up a full sink of dishes and then some. Whenever I cook, I'm grateful if someone offers to help clean up, but I don't expect it and that's generally my preset stepping into the kitchen. I think that was the last time I joined them for family dinner night. Fuuuuuuuck off with that nonsense. Plus, you can be fun and be clean. You can also not be a dick roommate.
wei_ying
I for one think you sound great to be around. As momo said above I think it’s fine if you wanna have fun but your friends sound like they need to learn how to work and live for themselves lol and not to judge them but if their version of “fun” is getting drunk constantly and driving home drunk that’s not fun it’s putting their lives on the line. Tbh I love both kinds of people (and any kind cause even if you’re someone who’s more “reserved” I can talk enough and have fun for the both of us... not on a drinking level but other ways you’d enjoy too of course), you just keep being hardworking, a mature roommate and amazing ok <3
yaasshat
Aug 07, 22 at 2:37pm
Honestly, I'd get my own place if I were you. Sure,it's more expensive, but the freedom from idiotic roommates and knowing everything is how YOU want it, that more than makes it worth your while. Your roommates just seem immature and selfish. Stop trying to help them out and help yourself. If they can't be bothered to clean, then you shouldn't be bothered to live with them. One can be fun AND be serious, go figure.
a1ephy
Aug 07, 22 at 2:55pm
Fun or responsible? Yes.
shinkutsume
This is part of the reason why I refuse to get roommates. I had experiences in the past where Ive had "roommates from hell", where they were the most pathetic of petty, stupid, and idiotic slobs imaginable (it was fun seeing them get an eviction notice due to their behavior and missing multiple rent payments). Living alone helps a ton, though I know it is much more expensive to do so. I would agree with some others here. Like many things in life, a good balance is the best way to go about things. You can have your fun, but you still need to keep things at least somewhat tidy. Most people dont realize that its easier to take care of a mess in its early stages, before it piles up and gets crusty (its even worse when you are unsure if the mess has become sentient or not)... Spend a bit of time now to avoid a bunch of tedious and unfun crap down the road. As for your situation, it seems like those roomies of yours might not have experienced living away from their parents before. They also have likely never experienced much when it comes to the consequences of their own actions. I remember most of my friends and also roomies in college were like that, straight out of living with their parents, and living in the most messy of conditions because they dont realize that they need to do the cleaning themselves, and how much effort it is to actually be properly independent. Its never a matter of a binary choice, someone cannot be only serious, in the same way that someone cannot be nothing but "fun". Its always something in between, and leaning heavily to one side or another tends to be unhealthy. You dont seem to be overly serious, it just seems like the others are just overly lax. Think about it, its perfectly reasonable that you dont want to deal with a messy environment, and if their mess is affecting the common living area, then it becomes your problem too. This is assuming that you are not OCD about cleaning. As an example: nobody likes having a big pile of dirty dishes permanently in the sink. I also doubt you are "not fun". I assume you have hobbies and other things that you are passionate about. There are plenty of things you can do that are "fun" that dont involve making a mess and never cleaning up.
gabriel_true
I second @shinkutsume as someone who has lived with a number of people in the past I find it doesn't take long to figure out who is pulling their weight and who has a chronic case of the "That's your problem" mentality. I've had a number of roommates talk about what they've done for me all the while I footed the bill for them. People that care about you won't leave you wondering why you're friends with them in the first place. Lastly having ground rules is important in having fun. When everyone in the party knows and respects the expectations set forth there can always be room to negotiate further. But if they can't do the basics and frequently ask you to bail them out then just walk away. Remember it's "There Problem."
yaasshat
Aug 07, 22 at 6:01pm
I mean,I had a roommate who said "YOLO" and slid down the wall into a passed out slump when I asked him if he pissed on the carpet....He was a heroin addict. That was a fun place. Sad, but fun. Point is,ya gotta Just cut ties and leave dicks where they lay.
projectotakux
@yaasshat That doesn't sound like fun at all
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