Reasons to Live

I gota say lee. I kinda felt similar for the past 10+ years. I felt like i was at rock bottom. Girls asked me out, and i turned them down because i kept thinking i didnt want to ruin there lives with my presence. and that if they chose any other guy. they would be happier and better off than if they were with me. I didnt study or work or do anything. I had fully given up on life and debated ending it. But after chickening out so many times. i felt that i was so pathetic i couldn't even end it properly. I had given up on life and hit rock bottom. i was useless and i knew it. But thats when things changed, because i had tried to end it all so many times, and chickened out each time. I literally got frustrated with failing to end it, and gave up. But then thought (WTF Do i do now). So i made the choice. "I might as well find any way i can be useful." Fuck my feeling and emotions. I should be dead anyway. I made my self a tool or an instrument. with its only purpose to make others lives happy, and to try help others. I cant be happy, and i cant have a good life. dosent mean others cant. Weather i die tomorrow. or in 40 years. it dosent matter. But when i do go, i want to make sure ive improved someone else's life (or even just a day of theirs) by even a little. because then i wouldn't have compleatly waited my life. I could die happy knowing i atleast made another person smile. even if only for a day. And after about 4 months of doing this. I started to find happiness in other peoples happiness. And seeing there satisfaction and gratification gave me meaning. I felt like i was useful. I was improving others lives. Its been 4 years now since that day i had the epiphany. I have a great job. im studying at uni. and i overall dont care about all the negatives in life any more. I feel as tho im in a much better place. What im trying to say. Is its always darkest before the dawn. Try looking at all the possibilities. And look for anything that you believe would give you a sense of self worth. pursue it. And when you have it. never let go. (Dont know if this is that relevant to you or not. just thought i would pitch in with how I worked my way out of depression) (Wouldn't recommend the same idea, because forcing yourself to become a tool for others happiness and killing of all your own emotion can become pretty dark. But i would recommend a similar method, of looking for what you believe would give you a sense of worth, everyone is different).

cats

I think a good place to start is to actually find something that you feel truly passionate about and basically chasing it relentlessly. This is also a really tricky thing to do because nobody knows automatically what they're passionate about, I found my passion in a somewhat unexpected place. But if you love what you do, you'll be happier and a lot of other things like confidence will come naturally over time.

when you get older you realize theres many people like you and you could meet them. trying to get better and you do slowly but it could take your whole life to be close enough to ok. if you kill yourself then theres that chance you could come back here and if you at almost halfway through your life then its not very far away. wish i had something amazing to say but no one can be real amazing because we are all trying to go though life.

I can't say anything more than what has already been said. Seems everyone has experienced the same or similar feelings. It might seem like some of us are put together, but were also all still progressing or still trying to pick up the pieces. Please take some of their words to heart. Because they did take time out of their day to care for a stranger.