Reasons to Live

I do try and I have tried over the past few months trying to get there one step at a time. But the past few weeks have made me realize I am wasting my time

Man, it's all about baby steps. Sure, you'll fall a bit, it happens, but dust yourself off and try another route. Hey, what are some of your hobbies?

I wake up, go to work if I get up on time and am not too miserable, come home, try and find help, and go to bed. College was/is taking too much of a financial toll on me and due to health stuff I don't see myself ever getting a good job or meeting anyone or being able to travel or being worth the air I breath

Also, dont know what your situation is, don't know what other things you have besides depression. I've tried a myriad of anti-depressants. I have also swore I would never take them again. I've been on the same thing now on and off for like 6 or 7 years. I couldn't function without them. If you haven't tried antidepressants, maybe you should. And if you have and you are suicidal, you might not be taking the right one for you. I was just depressed when I started Zoloft when I was 17. After 6 months my doc kept kicking the dosage up and eventually I became suicidal. I dropped out of high school, took a social break... also I had a bit of chronic fatigue syndrome and was sleeping 16 hours a day for like 2 months.... anyway, I stopped taking the zoloft and started feeling better. Did home school to finish up my diploma and got back on track for college.

I have tried two different kinds of antidepressants and I have to also take ADD stimulant stuff... Currently Fluoxitine and Guanfacine and nothing I have tried as a combo has made anything better

Let me be real here for a sec. You behave in the way that you perceive yourself, so if you keep telling and thinking to yourself rubbish like "I'm undesirable" "I'm unworthy" "I'll always be alone" you're gonna act in a way that's gonna make people perceive you like that, if not that then they'll pick these kinds of vibes up from you and that will make them back away. Life is gonna knock you down from time to time and there's nothing wrong with getting knocked down, but you have to get back up. If you're in a shit situation right now then talking about it on these forums isn't gonna do you a lot of good. You have to participate in your own rescue so you should be going out and getting some actual help and work on yourself in areas where you think you're lacking.

I just want to say Sorry to the past few people who have tried to help recently and sorry for the drama that happened today with the person who tried... You know who you are, don't feel sad for me. I will just feel sald for myself

It can be real hard to try and get out of the mind set you're in, but there will be something sometime that will break you out of it, and show you that you're worth yourself and are to others as well. There are probably more people here that have been in similar situations (myself included), than you might think. it can be hard to lift yourself up at times, especially when you need to most, but there will be a good outcome for you.