squirrelatemycookie

(7:04 PM Sat.) I'm crying over a heart that was given to me today. I haven't been doing my best internally lately...I keep doubting myself about certain things happening in my life recently and, in all honesty, just being a huge jerk to me. It's something I have been really fighting against and yesterday I just went to sleep early (for me anyway) and silently cried myself to sleep (I didn't want my sisters to hear me). Before I drifted off, I remember asking God to truly just help me with myself, because I know I am my own biggest enemy most days tbh...and I even told Him that sometimes I feel like I don't hear Him anymore or He's not listening to me (which I know isn't true, but I felt honesty with God is better since He knows it all). Today, after our mom came home from grocery shopping with our baby brother, she rushed downstairs and burst into the closet I was sitting in (cause it's cold over here recently), excitement on her face as she cups something in her hands. She tells me that she almost forgot to give this to me, but she found it after exiting the store she went to (which is truly surprising as our mom hates picking up random items from the ground outside) and really felt like I needed this item. My mom un-cups her hands and within them is a bedazzled heart (I really love hearts/heart-shaped things). It's kind of dented in one corner and is missing exactly three sparkles, to which mom apologized for giving me someone else's junk, but...she truly doesn't know how much I love it and needed it. God immediately spoke to me after my mom shut the door...He said that He always hears me and loves me. That just in the way that my mom looked at that dirty, slightly worn and busted heart on the ground but still saw the value in it, that He still sees value in me no matter how battered and weary I may feel at the moment. So, yeah, I am forever treasuring this little heart I've been gifted forever. ❤️