@sakurakiss Same but with... https://i.imgur.com/mQLryP4.gif

after my divorce, in August 2021, and 4 months later, my Dad Passed away, added even more depression on top of my divorce. I still miss my Dad, and I'm glad he changed his life for the better, i spend as much times with my Mom and whatever i can to help her, mow her lawn, watch TV show, talk about things, only thing she wont let me help her was the dishes. I been closer to my mom than any of her kids, she as 4 including me, and my sister does the same for Mom too, but i think, which no one is ever prepared for a love one to pass away. I just might break completely. Sometimes i feel alone with my siblings, "The worst thing in the world isn't being alone,it's being surrounded by the people who make you feel alone." got a quote on a YouTube video, i felt more strongly if my Mom passes away. as for my Divorce, i was happy to get out of a bad relationship/Marriage, after a few months i was getting lonely and starting to miss the things i yearn for, just to hold someone in my arms, cuddle, sleep together, love her the way she wants to be loved, from there i was getting depressed, nothing but a good old Ice cream with Black cherry cheesecake, best ice cream i had so far got me out of my depression, until the news about my Dad passing away, its been 2 years since we split up and lived separately, felt much longer than that to me, i greatly missed having a woman in my life.

https://youtu.be/BVX_lymUbTY?si=v3uE202TnqAN0QPi This abortion commercial is hilarious. Lol I would howl if I saw that in public for the first time.

As a narcissist I think life would be easier if I didn't have to keep up with others hearts. My whole life for the past 5 years was just me learning anything I could to keep up with others hearts. The heart produces such beauty. But, for some reason mine never developed properly. So, I'm left as a obsessed admirer of the grandest of dances. In my face over and over I get to watch and understand that many dance so beautifully but no matter how much I teach myself invigorated by such blinding beauty I can't seem to dance the same dance. I live fully encompassed by such unnerving & offensive horror. That such a dance may not be meant for me. But, it's to late as I'm already on the floor entangled in the many dances of life. I dare not dance my dance. It is but a crude rendition of the beauty I've witnessed. Nevertheless, I try to copy the moves to make myself appear more beautiful than I am. Desperately trying to hide the fact that I am not beautiful enough to even be on this floor. Forced to ceaselessly play a game before every dance between myself and illusions to discover the best moves to perform when the music starts. But, dejected I am at how the game crumbles upon having to match a beat. In no time I'm out of moves with no signal from my heart. Cursed to endlessly chase after my expected place in the dance with full knowledge I can't match it. But, I mustn't stop dancing even if I'm tired less they realize how much I can miss the beat. So I broaden my moves everyday horrifyingly anticipating the speed and the precious nature of the beats to come. I still miss my que and the beat has long since pasted me while I'm still struggling to answer it with a move. Haunted by the echo's of my mistakes. I ponder will I ever know the sweetness of preparedness less I delude myself into a thoughtlessly bold march towards the floor to find what could lie beyond the idea of failure. It is already a barren & dispirited march from the lack of successes. So, forgive me Father. Forgive me Lord for just helplessly watching as my place becomes more and more vacant of attempts. The heart being adequately functional is a very necessary requirement to perform the dance well. How my mind craves to be witness to the speed love enables. How my heart yearns to welcome the sounds unfrightened.

https://i.postimg.cc/9MHpFkYx/FB-IMG-1714169096522.jpg https://i.postimg.cc/0NwnvvDM/FB-IMG-1714176725512.jpg

1. Who?- Probably tootsie pop @forgetmenot 2. What?- In tarnation 3. When?- At 11:59 PM 4. Where?- Your mother's house 5. Why?- Who knows?------------------------------------- 6. Why not?- Because I said so------------------------------------1. Perhaps in a dream you awake to hear [insert chosen deity here] ask you to go into another dimension to save a small child from pain. Said deity says "I will reward you with one wish of any variety" and that you can take three people with you to help. Who do you take with you?- I take The Father, Son and Holy Spirit with me XD------------------------------------2. To embark on this mission, you have to get into some shape, how many push ups can you do?- Probably only one...maybe two or three when I'm trying lol------------------------------------3. How long would it take you to run a mile?- Forever I'm sure. Never ran a mile before------------------------------------4. Can you lift at least your own weight?- Probably not XD------------------------------------5. Can you swim?- I can. But only well enough for me to move in a pool. I'd hate to see me in moving bodies of water lol