@gabriel_true Day 132: Gabby, Gabby, Gabby!!! I was right yesterday about our mom knowing me better than I know myself. My surprise was better than good – and describing it as great doesn't even do it justice! Guess what my surprise was? It wasn't food, it wasn't a trip to buy something at the mall-but it was a Cat Cafe named: Feline Felon Cafe. I got to see kittens in person for the first time, but I didn't get to pet them really because they were recently introduced to the place so they were scared and hiding, but seeing them was great enough, and I got to pet at least one kitten named Bowser. My twin and I didn't spend much time in the kittens room since they were scared enough as is, so when the worker came to check in on us, I told her I'd rather go to the adults because they'd be used to people being around them and I didn't want to intimidate the kittens anymore. Our mom bought one dry treat for me to feed to the cats and three wet treats to dispense onto a green paddle so the cats can lick from it, because if I tried to feed them with just the packet alone, they'd apparently try to snatch it from me XD. There were about three to four black and white (oreo) colored cats; two of them really liked me and their names were: Jasper and Poe. Then there was two grey cats named Honey...and Munchbutter (my twin just now named him because we forgot his name lol), Honey was very greedy and hissed at the other cats that came too close to the treats, but she listened well when I kindly scolded her for being a meanie. Then there was a cat named Feta that was in cat-jail because he's a bully to the other cats and tries to act innocent when caught XD, but he still got fed treats through the cage because I felt bad that he wasn't participating in food stuff. Then, the cat I reaaaally bonded with was an older cat/resident couch potato: LuLu. She only wanted me when I had snacks, but then she slowly approached me and allowed me to pet her after sniffing my hand a couple times. She reminded me of my twin with the RBF look she had, and how low-key cuddly she could be with me...so yeah, she was the best cat, and she even started purring when I pet her! It felt great to be accepted and surrounded by so many sheltered cats as a cat person, because it solidifies the fact you truly ARE a cat lover because the cats like you back. I had a really great day with my twin, mom and baby brother, and afterwards we ate Zaxby's for lunch, very delicious! - I Was So Happy I Cried: Cat Mommy

I love Vocaloid / Vocal Synth genre. I love Vaporwave genre. Why not both? https://youtu.be/iUTMNbR6Jdg?si=rX_2-O-D7YKE6tLq https://youtu.be/DWVnykjbJpU?si=Boezbc5VpgVF0kgk https://youtu.be/x5tPI4FYlSc?si=jEG4g48UlseuC1bM

https://youtu.be/GmG4X9PGOXs?si=62P29ZDRHlYgl_lA A classic

It was hilariously true what he said about voter id. It’s racist to require id for something as important as voting. Yet you have to show two forms of ID to shovel snow in New York City. I guess NYC is racist. You got to have valid ID for dang near every thing . Your job, cigarettes, liquor, driving, getting on a plane. Just not for voting? Seriously, the only reason not to have ID is so you can cheat. I’m curious if and how elections would actually change if they did require ids.

Bastard was actually the first one I saw last year on Netflix. Didn't really think too much about it again until a major surgery 2.5 months ago and I started watching JJK. It was a great escape, I love the action, the storyline, the imagination, and I also really loved the feelings I got from the characters. That got me to getting a crunchyroll subscription and down the rabbit hole I went! I just love the emotions that come through the stories and characters. I just came here to browse around, maybe chat here and there. Its just fun finding others with similar interests.

@triforcer Do you try to watch subs without pausing to read them? I personally can’t keep up with subs while also paying attention to all the stuff going on in the scene. And I hate when the subs go by faster than I can read and missing bits of the conversation. So I watch on my phone or PC and pause as often as I need to. Which in some cases is quite frequently. Doing that would probably be a lot less taxing on you.

Like Paul said the good I want to do I don't do but the evil I don't want to do I do instead of worrying about my grade changing and feeling wrecthed and worthless I feel it's better to accept the grade of unworthy. I keep thinking if I try harder I'll be worthy that's where the pain is originating from. The pain is coming from all the perseverance and effort I put into being perfect and pleasing to God. I realize it hurts but it shouldn't. It only hurts because I don't know or acknowledge myself to be unworthy. I keep trying to be worthy of God's love that's why I feel no peace and pain when I realize and have to acknowledge my unworthiness. It is through Christ sacrifice and faith in him we are made worthy and this worthiness acts as a gift that inspires a life of gratitude, intentional holiness, and service. A way of living that reflects His gospel. Holiness: Through Christ’s sacrifice, believers are declared righteous (justified) and set apart for God's purpose. I always feel self loathing when feelings of unworthiness come upon but what I should be feeling is gratitude because Jesus Love is a free gift. It's pride because of the belief my worth depends on my performance. When God's grace covers our mistakes so we won't give into despair and shame. I can't make myself worthy of God's love that's impossible. I acknowledge myself to be unworthy. It is through his sacrifice and belief in him we are worthy which should have the response of gratitude, intentional holiness, and service. So I won't self loath no more I'll just say thank you for loving the imperfect me.

@fushiguro I understand what your feeling. We all just want to be loved and seen for our hard work. If it means anything I see the hard work you put in and acknowledge it. You did good. You should be proud of yourself. I cried yesterday feeling some of the same things you feeling. What I learned we are not entitled to love from others. We are not even entitled to be understood because of our hardwork. When I understood that the important feeling i'm trying to maintain won't be sustained by others that helped me alot. We are only important to people we are important to. And, we have to accept that we can't be important to everyone no matter how hard we work. I hope you have someone in your life that's make you feel important and seen. I have someone like that and I appreciate them. Your important and I see your hardwork if nobody ever told you. Instead of trying to get strangers to sustain this fleeting sense of importance. You got to sustain it yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself. I get it we all want to feel important it's human nature. I'm not trying to act like I know it all you just seem like your hurting so I'm trying to help. This part probably doesn't apply to you but I will put it just incase. I cried because as a narcissist I felt I was entitled to the love and attention it was strange people won't tell me I'm important when I believe myself to be and I put in alot of hardwork to say important things. Which ultimately ripped away my false sense of importance. And, I was left with 2 options trust others for my sense of importance and worth. Or let go of the need for validation. I decided to stop seeking validation from others to sustain my own sense of importance. You yourself can sustain it yourself. But, me I'm a narcissist so I'm kinda at a learning phase on whether or not I should live with a sense of importance. But, your normal you can build your importance and sustain it yourself. Just validate yourself. You know you put in hardwork and you know why you did it. Validate that. Hope this helps. I learned something to. Thank you for sharing how you feel. Hopefully I can build myself up to if it's not to much for a narcissist it's tricky for me. I needed to cry and not feel important because that what set me free from feeling I'm entitled to others attention and love and that i need there validation. But, that doesn't apply to you. Your just pure and wanting someone to see you and acknowledge your hardwork. I hope someone makes you feel loved and seen one day. And, I hope you find the freedom I did knowing I don't need validation. I can see it just by talking to you that I to can validate my heart. I know why I fight. I know the struggle I been through. I know how much I try to love others and God. Thank you for sharing I learned alot that will help me with schizophrenia cause they always trying to tear me down. Hope I helped you to :) if anything God loves you but you know that. Cool to see you getting back into your bible. That's inspiring. You have spirit and that has nothing to do with what anyone thinks of you. That's yours it doesn't diminish because people think differently of you. Protect your heart. You know what you have to offer. If people don't see you how you see yourself it's ok. They entitled to hold a different view of you even if you don't like it. Forcing it will only make you sad. Just let go. We can't control how others view us but we can control how we view ourselves. I'm not saying give up on trying to improve yourself. I'm saying someone will see you one day. So acknowledge and validate that you improving. And, because they can't see you don't let it twist your ability to see yourself. Just trying to help man. That's all. Sorry if it was unasked for or not useful. Be well. Sorry if I crossed any boundaries I'm a narcissist I don't understand. If someone corrects me I'll understand. You can always share your hurt with me if you have no one else. I love to learn. But, I'm unreliable it's coded into narcissists but I will do my best to listen and help if I can. Or just listen. I hope and pray God answers your prayers.

I had that dream you’re at work, and nothing is going right. No matter how hard you try, stuff just keeps becoming a bigger and bigger mess. Then you wake up absolutely exhausted from working all night, for free, and you have to get up and go to work for real and work even more. I feel like I should charge them for all those overtime hours I worked in my sleep.