I feel like going into more detail since I recently got some clarity. My ego collapse / death was caused by weed. But, I like to refer to the state of being high as elevated altered state concoiusness. I had my ego death / collapse because my ex gf brought to my attention my cognitive dissonance while I was high. Under normal circumstances her calling out my behavior would of flew right pass me but because I was high and my ego was loosened for the first time in my life I looked inward as a narcissist. That's when the explosion happened. The cognitive dissonance tore my mind to shreds. I was disoriented, viscouly shaking, scared, barely able to stand. I was feeble like a old man. My ego was crushed. But, afterwards after the shock of my collapse passed me I was born anew. The first thing I did was rap what was on my soul. The words just came to me. All the things I stand for. I now know that moment signified the birth of a warrior who would not go quietly into the night. I was birthed as a warrior but not only that I was given the awareness of a warrior. A awareness that frowned upon my own actions had came to be where there was none before. I now know this was a blessing and a miracle. To be born again with a warrior awareness and spirit. My first thoughts with this new awareness is what am I? Why have I done these terrible things? It was as if my whole life had been on autopilot. I now know what I am. I am a narcissist but more than that I am a warrior and a child of God. A fighting spirit was instilled in me on the day of my narcissist collapse along with a warrior awareness and I'm thankful for the experience. Considering how so many narcissists can't see themselves it was a miracle.

We have no one to look up to. I'm tired of being old in this game and watching people older than me still exhibit symptoms. Like bruh are you even aware of yourself? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one fighting it. While everyone else act like typical narcissists. Am I doing something wrong? Am I the odd one? Was I just lucky to get awareness? I don't get it. I'm not smart but I have to be. A Narcissist would tell you they smart. I know I'm a idiot. They think they above it all. And, refuse to be held accountable. They all so special in there mind. They so young it hurts. It hurts watching old men be so young. God just someone move the needle. Anyone of you mfers. I would like to bounce off a contribution but nobody playing this game. They say the difficulty impossible but we still should try. I really don't think they can see themselves. I only got lucky because I smoked some good weed and my ex gf caused my narcissist collapse while I was under altered state concoiusness. Tell me you can see yourselves and willing to take action. If yall can see and still continue without fighting it. You must not know who you are yet. In all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. We were called to be victorious in all things through the love of God. Remember that you a warrior. That was the first symptom of my narcissist collapse I remembered that I am a warrior and that I will not go quietly into the night. Fuck being special I just want to be normal.

This song in its slowed and muffled TikTok version makes me this of an episode of The Real Ghostbusters... https://youtu.be/TF4gSBE2bmE?si=I614zJAWkSd08sFE Title: "Ragnarok and Roll" https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8gu3k9

Deltarune finally coming out 6/4/25 steam users, day after for switch https://youtu.be/CN4ZcGJoZac?si=9iqYWGDBk7y2Udrd