Hello! I hope to put myself out more often, and maybe find friends who have the same interests as me. It'd be nice to find cosplay buddies too!

My gf smile is slowly bringing me to life. The horror of being seen as inadequate, imperfect, and undesirable is leaving my nervous system or mind. The more time I spend with her the less I worry and the more happier I become because I'm not bracing myself. She says I'm fun when I find myself boring. She says I'm caring when I don't have empathy. She says deep down I know you care about me. When I'm worrying if my care is even worth acknowledging. A mirror that only shows flaws is a lie. I got to see her views of me and that matters because she's someone who loves me. The mirror I use has no love for me only disdain. It only shows flaws. With her views of me I'm starting to forget that haunting mirror even existed. Must be because there's a fuller image I can now view. She makes my life fuller and I believe her when she says I do the same for her. I'm beginning to trust what she says about me and accept a fuller image. I see her beautiful loving smile and it horrifys me that once she knows me it will fade. But, she does know me and still chooses to smile at me. The horror that says your unlovable was throughly blown away by her love. I had decided on my own that I'm unlovable. And, that haunted me. But, my gf said who decided that lol. She is proof that my fears are just fears not reality. I'm also finding it easier to be close to her. My nervous system is getting use to it. And, even seeking and enjoying it. Though I still get over stimulated but it's lessening.

@gabriel_true Day 104: I'm posting a message a bit earlier because the thought I'm having now might be forgotten later. Now, I am seeing through the love and care of my family and friends how much God sees me and loves me (I mean, I always have known...but when you are going through hard times, you sometimes forget or feel like you've been forgotten). For the sake of privacy, I'll be keeping this person's username private, but there was a very kind person on here who messaged me about wanting to send a care package to the house when they heard our family ran out of food. I wasn't going to accept at first because I felt bad doing so, but God permitted me to do so, so I listened and allowed them to do what they felt they wanted to do. I laughed immediately when this package arrived because I was expecting something smaller, but it was a huge box. A huge box filled with three boxes of snacks and the rest was legit food-food, which made me laugh again because I was talking to the LORD when me and this person were talking and I told God that if the contents of the package end up being food more than actual snacks, I would be even happier because I can give it over to the family for sustenance when we run out of food again. AND THEN, I started laughing some more when our mom and baby brother came home because our mom just told me that we ran out of food TODAY, and my package was supposed to arrive on the 30th of this month and another on February 1st. So God is just so intentional and doesn't delay in His goodness/provision. This lovely friend also sent me some vanilla cashmere lotion and liquid body wash. And what is even funnier (in a good way) is how I actually received a loofah recently and had no liquid body wash – but what truly pulls this whole thing together beautifully is the fact I had absolutely NO IDEA what this person was sending me...they didn't ask if there was anything I needed specifically or wanted, but they didn't need to, because God knew EXACTLY what I needed. Also, if the lovely person who sent me packages is reading this, thank you again so very, very much! My siblings enjoyed a few of the cookies you sent, and I'm going to enjoy my lotion, because I really love the scent of vanilla. - God Is Always Watching Over Me and You, Gabby: Ying

Don't be a jerk and make multiple accounts on a site just to try and scam people. You are only feeding your own darkness and no one will like you unless you change. You are not helping yourself, stick with one account and work on yourself. Don't chose the easy path and do this shady behavior. Be better.

Ikoku Nikki (Journal with Witch) Episode 3 when she finally breaks down at school, getting upset with her teachers and friend. They did a really good job portraying the emotion in the scene.

Ikoku Nikki (Journal with Witch) Wasn’t planning on watching this one. Didn’t really look interesting to me. However, I needed to kill some time waiting in the ER and watched a few episodes. For a drama it was a lot better than I expected. If you’re an introvert, you’ll probably find the aunt’s family situation really relatable. As extrovert family members rarely understand their quarks. It’s also an interesting take on dealing with loss. The teenage girl seems to be handling it on the surface, but in reality she’s not. She’s subconsciously escaping and avoiding her emotions.

Kimi ni Todoke - From Me To You - Season 3 Episode 3 Ryo’s back story got to me.

A few friends wanted to play WoW Classic TBC Anniversary, so I have a rogue I'm going to main for arena, and a warlock alt. Super new to warlock so that'll be interesting, but rogue I could play in my sleep at this point. (ᴗ˳ᴗ) zZ Going to avoid raiding as I don't want a raid schedule, just want it to be a pvp mini game so I have free time.

Drinking gin with my gf father and his friend's. Sour goat is fire btw. Also, I got to hug and take pictures with my stepdaughters which was nice. They loved the candy I bought them.

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