Isaiah 48:10 10 Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. Proverbs 17:3 3 The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart. The Meaning of the Furnaces: In biblical times, a crucible was used to test and refine silver, which required a lower heat. A blazing furnace was used for gold, requiring a much hotter temperature to burn away impurities."Not As Silver": When God says he refined Israel "not as silver," He means He did not use a mild or light test. He put them through the "furnace of gold" (the furnace of affliction). I have no problem with schizophrenia. As a Christian I know it's just the furnace baby. God didn't choose the crucible for me. He choose the furnace of affliction that produces Gold. I'm afflicted with both narcissism and schizophrenia that's not a light test or small heat. But, Jesus has been so caring and blessed me with everything I need to pass the test. Life has been for the most part handed to me. So I can't complain about my afflictions. The voices know us humans are moldable like clay so they said let's make it pitch black for him. But, guess what Jesus hands are also in the mix. Isaiah 64:8: "Yet, Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter. We all are the work of your hand." Little did they know pitch black darkness was the perfect furnace environment. Pitch black darkness puts you in a much needed survival mode. You either struggle to find light that can stay lite or you give in to despair and darkness. Having your light under attack constantly trains you to be a warrior who can see through attacks who can negate attacks who's light can stand through adversity, persecution, and condemnation. Now I don't negate every attack some attacks can be helpful to Crack the rigid ego of a narcissist who don't understand the pain his actions cause. And, refuses awareness of the pain. So let them dog pile my ass sometimes as a painful reminder that I hurt people. But, I will not despair and allow my view of myself to become pitch black like before. The voices mold me to acknowledge my darkness and drown in it. And, Jesus molds me back to the light. I go back and forth. Until I'm purified. It sure is amazing how all things work for the Good of God. Thorn in my flesh God is the best baby. All Glory to Jesus for allowing me this understanding. Romans 5:3-4 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Get your butt back here. https://media1.tenor.com/m/ykCjxWVvq18AAAAC/slap-slapping.gif

Tending to my garden. I got another batch of milkweed sprouts coming in and several of my monarch caterpillars have gotten bigger! Here's hoping my increased amount of milkweed plants keeps them fed. Also found a butterfly laying more eggs.

it's been too damn hot to go running outside so now I only do pickleball occasionally. I did some indoor pickleball with my dad this weekend and for the first time I was able to win some matches on the intermediate courts. We played for 3 hours straight. That game is really fun.

The malevolent voices know humans are moldable like clay and are not firm in anything. That's why they have great success in getting schizophrenics to lose touch with reality and lose touch with themselves. Schizophrenics don't know the more moldable you are the more the voices gonna play with you. It's not until you get firm in yourself and your beliefs that they will leave you alone. Me personally I firm in Jesus lol they know not to play with me. And, I know who I am. You can't mold me into something I'm not. Today I'm on they ass Boi. I know they mad. I know they mad I'm not play doh like them other schizophrenics. They literally just want to play with you your there play doh and they want to change you into something amusing. They trick other schizophrenics because for some reason other schizophrenics want power they want to feel powerful or want some grand purpose so they themselves stay modeable and be the voices play doh. Or they just not very bright. I'm to old for that shit I been fighting narcissism for God sake I ain't no noob. They even give there voices names them boys down bad. Edit: Stand for something or fall for anything literally