Came close a couple times. Usually things would fall apart pretty quickly. Lot of the time it's just out of the blue, nothing changes but they decide to ghost me. Other times there was just 'something' missing and we just wouldn't click. Once though, I had one that lasted a couple years but we never met up in person. Didn't seem like we were going to be meeting up any time soon either, which really soured the relationship as it went on. It started nice enough, and I was glad for a short time to have someone. I wanted to do anything and everything I could to make her happy, spoil her rotten to the best of my abilities too. Heck she even said she hit the jackpot with me. Unfortunately she had a pretty crappy home life, and because of it got more and more nasty as things went on. It didn't take long to realize we weren't even in a real relationship, at some point I became her personal therapist while paying out the butt for the privilege. Didn't help I asked her once to only say she loved me if she really meant it, so she never said it again. What was really frustrating was I knew all too well this was as good as it was ever going to get. I had a lot of bad luck before her, and even worse luck after that. That alone made me want to stick it out, but it was a terrible place to be in. I wanted to be as supportive as I could, but it's hard when the other person doesn't care. I tried breaking things off with her, only for her to talk me out of it, then do it herself not long later. We tried being friends but she ghosted me a few months later, right when I needed someone the most in fact. A year later she gets back in touch, we chat for a bit, but as soon as I mention I'm single she ghosts me again and I haven't heard from her since. I did meet up with someone from this site once though. We became friends, and had lunch once. We never got together though because while I think she was interested in me, she blew off our first plans to meet up after getting drunk and banging her friend, and then went into details about some other guys she got busy with. Call me weird, but that's not exactly the sort of thing I want to hear/know about from someone interested in me. Funny enough, something like that happened with another girl from this site that was chasing after me. We lived really near by, and were making plans to meet up, next thing I know she's telling me all about the guy she just slept with. Didn't hear from her again after that. Really good artist too, kept a photo she drew on my page. All in all I don't exactly have high hopes of things working out with anyone from here, especially not these days. Just doesn't seem like it's meant to be.

So, Idk if I am going to be looking for any matches on here, but I would like to talk to people of similar interests and see where it goes from there. I'm pretty new to forums and whatnot, so please be kind.

Some stuff to look out for might be a change in behavior and making excuses to avoid you. Things like staying out late with friends or working late all the time. unexplained expenses, coming home smelling weird, and so on.

I said I would stop talking about sensitive topics because I now understand boundaries and the sacredness of others. I would ask if it's ok to preach the gospel here and share what I learned. But, I have a feeling i'm not a liked messenger. The realizations I have just to good to keep to myself. I would like to share them but I don't want to cross any boundaries. I listen to bk pastor every morning on tiktok he said he gonna call me about a question I had. I'm gonna ask him if I'm doing the right thing by sharing the gospel with strangers when they didn't ask for it. I understand and acknowledge that I like sharing the word of God and what I learned with others. Maybe that will blossom one day and I will blossom as a christian and I will be sharing the gospel and what I learned with people who want to hear it. I don't know what that will look like. But, I know God has a plan for me I just don't know what it is. I know I want to help people and other narcissists and other schizophrenics find God and share what I learned during spiritual warfare. This may not be the platform for it. And, I may be to inexperienced at connecting with people. Also, my faith is not mature. I may not reflect Christ in my writing. It's gonna be hard to keep my mouth shut. But, I know there will be a time and a place to share what I know if I keep following God.

@gabriel_true Day 139: Dinner for me tonight was a packet of my 2x spicy Buldak noodles with peanuts, lettuce, seaweed, spicy kimchi and andouille sausage in it and butter garlic bread (don’t question the combo). The rest of my family ate sausage and rice. It was very delicious! Though my family laughs at me and my eldest sister for eating the extra spicy noodles like they’re nothing lol. - I Feel Bad For People That Can’t Enjoy Spicy Food: Spicy Mommy

Darius the Conqueror was such a great hack https://youtu.be/xCW6rHJwkRg?si=cvoDWwf68Dpodu5b https://youtu.be/Bk1k-aK8ifs?si=61W9SwfrSJV45h2z