Narcissists suffer from a meaning problem. Normal people have feelings and emotions that permeates there heart and will with STRONG MEANING. On the other hand narcissists are hallow and have to build STRONG MEANING from the ground up it's fickle and it doesn't permeate we have to focus on it to keep it alive until it's finally embedded in us in some way that keeps us molded by it. They say Just choose empathy. Just choose love. Just choose God. Just use the leg that isn't working. I'm being asked to climb a mountain with equipment I don't have. It's a brutal paradox where they tell you to feel something you never felt. That what can save you is what you never had. So you try to permeate meaning in the emptiness until it's embedded enough to where your will for goodness is more than a fickle imitation. IT HURTS!!! and it's unfair but I won't lash out at God. Even though I border on insanity hehehe trying to permeate meaning through this hallowness. I don't understand why I wasn't given a proper feeling heart but still have some type of obsession with goodness. Guess I will keep being torn apart by this paradox all the while keeping my faith. The more it rips and tears me apart the more I discover. The voices call me a bug because they know I will struggle against my fate and programming and beat at the walls until they show some signs of weakness even if it's futile. They call that perseverance, character, and Hope. Suffering produces perseverance and perseverance produces character and character hope. I couldn't give up even if I wanted to. I'm to obsessed with goodness with the lord I won't stop until I'm permeated with strength and meaning and if God wills it feelings. I pray Jesus accepts my fickle meaning, strength, and imitation and grow it into something real. Edit: Anyway I'm hurt but time to get over it like I always do Huuuu. Perseverance stat go weeee lol.

Cosplay, most of all. I feel a bit braver in costume and enjoy seeing what characters everyone else is dressed as. I'm always too shy to strike up a conversation, though, despite my best efforts. Other than that, I like to browse the artist alley and the dealer's room and maybe attend a panel or a group photoshoot.

Ahoy, today was father's day. Sadly we only had turkey spam for meats. But I managed to get some rice and cajun seasoning to dress it up a little. So overall not bad. There's another big wildfire in the town just next to ours, maybe 5-10miles away. I wish people wouldn't set shit on fire without a way to definitely put the fire out. :( I hope you're staying cool. <3

@meisterman1985 Nice verses and topic. Glad you know it is not a curse but the way God displays his power. I agree we are afflicted so the Lord works can be displayed through us. It's the furnace of Gold baby. The furnace of affliction. Glad you found some solace in your affliction and testing. Thanks for sharing I did not know these verses. It's nice to know them. Thanks brother. Keep fighting the good fight. Edit: Happy Fathers Day Jesus and Heavenly Father.

https://cdn.britannica.com/31/91831-050-A7D70D8F/painting-Abraham-Jozsef-Molnar-Hungarian-National-Gallery.jpg Happy Father's Day!

A young girl at church today was handing out gifts to all the fathers in the congregation. She came over to my pew to gift me as well though I laughed because I had no children! Still I didn't have the heart to refuse, so I accepted it gladly. Perhaps in a round about way, as men, we're all fathers to the next generation. Just as Abram became the father of those whose blood he did not share, but in Spirit was made a caretaker and guide for many.

I passed N2 Last year (145/180) two months after making preparations for it, but I don't think I actually learned Japanese hah~

The night we rented a limo to go drink and party at different bars. But they introduced me to the screwdriver and it was over for me.

https://youtu.be/WXbs1dEnE_U?is=vySkaWEhFSNJTd7i Almost 2am and I’m still awake…

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https://youtu.be/mAW37LSCkQg?is=7lfDLSt0gOuyuz2_ Band: Foster The People Song: Pay The Man

Yes there is, it's a fun game called Deactivate the Account. All you have to do is go under settings and click a teeny-tiny button called "Deactivate" and then you win! https://i.ani.me/0384/6699/1000009871.jpg Bet you can't click the button before me! Go on, I double dog dare ya! Or are you a rotten egg, hmm?