Ahoy. My brain is mush right now, but I still have to get to work. I'm still behind on Queen Among Monsters, I have two commissions to finish, and I have so many chores to do that even my chores have chores now. :( I dunno how to cut it to my little brother, but making me watch Kiki for 3 days in a row is brutal. We don't have a proper yard, so I wasn't able to play with her like she needs. I had to keep her on the leash most of the time because she's not gentle with the kittens at all. We also don't have any proper chew toys for her, so I have to constantly wrestle random trash out of her mouth. :( We did manage to figure out the plant situation. We're just hanging the toxic plants up above the kitchen sink. Since my idiot mother doesn't want 'holes in the ceiling', we found an ol' 2x4 and used that across the cabinets. I'm so tired. I've barely had water today. I hope you're drinking enough water and staying cool! I heard the heat wave that moved across Europe is heading for the US. So I hope you'll come up with some clever ways to stay cool.

My mom was being crazy today. She drops me off and says you have a dentist appointment in the morning. I found out it’s not the tooth that’s hurting they would fix. Hopefully I can get some sleep and I’ll feel a little better in the morning, I said I need to get food, I’m not going to the dentist.

This is a very thought provoking poem right now I'm kinda obsessed with thoughts about weaving and Tapestry and how God weaves versus how I want him to weave and also noticing the threads between those I love is getting stronger thin but stronger. Also, kinda curious how strong these threads can become within a narcissist I guess time will tell. Just had some insight about layering and distance and time and God. Time to think I'll edit this later. Got some insights but can't bring it together. Another day then. “Life is but a Weaving” (The Tapestry Poem) by Corrie ten Boom My life is but a weaving Between my God and me. I cannot choose the colors He weaveth steadily. Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper And I the underside. Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Will God unroll the canvas And reveal the reason why. The dark threads are as needful In the weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim. He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.

They saying D is a fraud cause he look like Sasuke and trying to get revenge for his clan all I know is he died to soon. Hopefully he got some black wall quick hacks. Bruh might really be a fraud though lol.

Extention to what I talked about yesterday people idolize them to the narcissists the ones like me. Feeding there egos they are no longer grounded no longer human instead of humans who can make mistakes they get praise for there mistakes because of how much they are idolized. As if they are perfect Gods who don't make mistakes. They idolize man even if he kills, steal, and harm others and his self but Jesus the perfect man they won't worship him. False idols get idolized and elevated above the judgment of man and God. People might not want to worship Jesus but you worshipping something. There are many false idols the political parties right now are false idols the sane people don't worship but it's in people core to idolize and worship something so they fight for the political party's they lie and cover up lies not to leave a blemish on there idol wanting everyone to worship there's they want to worship without doubt they don't doubt there idols and it's funny people are made to worship and have faith without doubt they just choose man to have faith in and not doubt. People have faith in the false idols the left and right party's with no doubt as if they don't want to be proved a bad worshipper or lacking faith lol people were made for God lol they just don't know it. Any doubt that enters there spear of influence they cover for there false idols as if what they worship is perfect and they truly believe in it. They have perfected there faith. We some silly people lol. Jesus wants that perfected faith. But, anyway that's it thanks for coming to my Ted talk. They be like I can't believe your a non believer in our great political party's or this great country or whatever. I reserve my belief for Jesus. I have not perfected my faith in a political party or this country to the point I am free from doubt and the false idols is unblemished in my eyes shinning bright.

Link = Phil Collins Zelda = Madonna Ganondorf / Ganon = Linkin Park https://i.imgur.com/Fx4LEui.jpeg https://youtu.be/_hsh-Wb8rKw?is=8J-Jrj6ud-Ma6r3y

My schizophrenia voices say they gonna cut my head off. Like I'm scared. I'm a narcissist if I die for Christ I'm going to heaven. Don't threaten me with a good time. That's just mean truly I was a man of God a decent soldier even with this affliction. There threats just let me know I'm on the right path. I'm not locked in her with you your locked in here with me and my God lol. They hate me boy omegalol. John 15:18-19 18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you

Been majorly reworking my garden to accommodate my new butterfly nursery. The milkweeds I got from my neighbor have seeded and spread. Now I've been having about 80sh endangered monarch caterpillars in my backyard. Essentially I have become a bug daddy the same way many people become cat parents. They just showed up and now they live here. XD