on a city forum today i logged on and someone messaged me saying are you 12? i said im 15. i said something he didnt like about sea level rise and starebase. he said Seriously? We'll have humans on Titan before the next ice age. Starbase is just fine.

Tonight was the longest night I ever did of pickleball. I played for 4 hours straight with my dad, until I could feel my legs were on fire. I made a really cool spike but got a bruise right on my leg from where my racket handle slammed into it. I kind of let myself go as far as food goes on vacation last week and am trying to get back under 130 pounds. I'm trying a diet of 3 Tortilla wraps (150 cal each), tuna salad (750 cal per container), half a can of lentils (~150 cal), 1/3rd bag of cooked shredded carrot / red cabbage / kale / Brussel sprout mix (cooked down so all the water weight is gone), then 3 tablespoons of cilantro dressing to get that nasty vegetable taste out. If I need to I add some greek yogurt to the wraps. Plus side, I lost 3 pounds in 4 days. Downside, the most foul, demonic bathroom sessions of my friggin life. I don't know how these people keep up with a low processed food diet.

I finally reached the point where I admit to myself I can't comprehend God. My attempts are just a small minded human trying to put him in a box I can understand. I admit God is more than the human mind can comprehend. I'm done putting him in boxes I think I understand. And, let God be God totally incomprehensible to me. I lean not on my own understanding. I just trust him at his word. I'm tired of these terrible ideas of God I put in boxes surfacing to contradict God. But, I didn't know how to stop them. That's because I didn't acknowledged that God is beyond my comprehension. Now I do. Now all the sticky boxes fade away. And, I'm left with a God I can't comprehend but I trust. Instead of saying this box is right about you in my hubris which is intellectual meaning I'm leaning on my own understanding. Now I switched to faith and trust and no conflicts arise cause now I understand God is beyond my comprehension. Realizing you can't completely figure God out frees you to trust him more. If you have God all figured out in your head you might not trust him. Totally leaning on your own understanding. God has many mysteries to him. His word tells us of his character and that's what I trust even though I don't completely understand. I acknowledge the difference between faith and intellectual understanding most of the times they collide faith fundamentally requires stepping beyond what can be proven or intellectually grasped. What I grasped was of no use to me if I call my self a man of God a soldier all it did was made me skeptical of God and collide with the truth of who he is because I don't understand intellectually. Or I understood a different truth about him. Now I understand his words are the truth regardless if I understand it or not. Now I have more faith and less conflict. I had a intellectual resistance to traditional faith. That's what was hindering my faith. I had faith my information was better than the truth. I had to acknowledge it's ok not to understand and that I may not be able to comprehend God. Faith comes first then understanding. The concept of "faith comes first, then understanding" largely stems from the famous theological phrase fides quaerens intellectum (faith seeking understanding). It means that you first accept God's truth through faith, which then unlocks a deeper, richer understanding of it later. I truly believe faith comes first then understanding. I haven't been trusting God and leaning on my own understanding. I thought my knowledge was better than his. But, now my faith is moving up hallelujah. All glory be to Christ. I pray one day I taste the wisdom and understanding of the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me. But, I trust God with the future his will not mine he knows best. Here's the video that spurred these thoughts today. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8GqxNd2/ Edit: Faith is not believing without any understanding. Rather, faith trusts God beyond the point where understanding runs out. Christians are encouraged to seek understanding, ask questions, and grow in wisdom. But when our understanding reaches its limit, faith says, "God is still true." Edit: I made plenty breakthroughs in many areas with this mindset. Instead of thinking God not worried about me like I always do. Now I think I don't understand how you worried about me but I know that it's true. I don't have rebuttals to the truth anymore. No faith and intellectual conflicts. Cause I know the truth remains truth higher than what I intellectually grasped. This is sick that as a narcissist I can comprehend trusting God and not leaning on my own understanding all Glory be to Jesus it's a miracle that my faith was elevated. Praise the Lord. Yall don't know what this means for me. Me a narcissist admitting the faults of my own intellectual hubris and truly trusting in God and walking by faith and trusting in the truth even if I don't understand it completely instead of putting God in a box and saying this the real you I know it to be true and it conflicts with what you say. It means the world to get closer to God especially when you have pride and ego like a narcissist making everything difficult. It's a miracle to get closer. I'm so greatful and truly blessed. I don't know how he could love someone like me I don't understand it but I know it to be true. I can finally express this with this new mindset instead of always thinking I will be forsaken cause I'm a narcissist. I'm filled with gratitude and awe from his love, kindness, grace, and mercy. Isaiah 55:8-9 8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

39ch - HATSUNE MIKU STATION♪¶(⁄•˅̮•∖)⁋♡ https://www.youtube.com/live/VzyRFyPadiw?is=QFob9BztRjFOKCKZ

My dinner, home made pizza made out eggs and greek yogurt with turkey pepperoni and real bacon bits. It tasted pretty good honestly, I just used too much olive oil on the pan.