Just had a breakthrough. I finally stopped letting my emotions dictate how I feel about God. I isolated the feelings and I told them idc how you feel about God or the situation you are not the judge of my God. Honestly got me and God f'd up. Even if he doesn't grant my request for a heart of flesh or makes me wait and wait and wait with that strong insane hurting feeling yeah I'm talking to you I tell that feeling to get off of God throne he is in charge hush your resentment about the situation personally I'll hear or partake in none of it. I trust God. What's meant for me is meant for me what is not is not. It's as the Lord wills it. I hurt deeply but my hurt doesn't get the final say about God. Edit: I feel stupid for trusting him don't care I feel hurt by him don't care I feel let down by him don't care I feel deceived by him don't care. I really don't care what these emotions have to say about God I'm a soldier and it seems I have acquired some backbone thanks to Jesus. Just like a soldier who must complete a mission you can't let emotions cloud your judgment and make you abandon the mission or fight like your heart and mind not in it. I'm not kicking emotions out of my life just off God's throne.

Please don't take your hearts for granted. I wish I could experience what everyone experience. https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUybTV0YjQ1bmVzcnZuYzV6dTJjZWdibnFhYzI1ODY5bXFnYTlmMnFmdyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/05njtoxU99m9g3lus9/giphy.gif

Real talk... anyone fuckin remember the commercials for Zoo Pals? Those like animal plates? I remember as a kid I'd watch it and think like, "There's no way eating off these makes eating THAT much more fun." Then one day I go over to a friend's house, and he's got some Zoo Pals. And man, oh man, was I so incredibly, sorely mistaken. Coz eating off those plates was like the most goated thing ever. Kids these days will never understand the hype, and dare I say the exhilaration, of eating off a Zoo Pal. They will never know what it's like.

I wish and pray for you and your family to be in good health and happiness, also strength and patience during difficult times.

WATCH ME PLAY DAMN IT!!! I DONE FINALLY DECIDED TO STREAM YOU BETTER WATCH ME!!!! Twitch.tv/Qimozabi