Currently reading Bungo Stray Dogs, Dandadan, OPM, OP, Fate/Strange Fake. I honestly either dropped or just haven't found anything too interesting to read, manga wise. I've been reading more novels lately.

https://youtu.be/lnQLsfz6uv0?si=n1Mao39KescMytOe https://youtu.be/Zi2JqeYgB7w?si=9OXYmd5Ze_9fUo65

(4:25 PM Tue.) Wow! I never thought that this day would come so soon. But, I will be gone from this website for an indefinite amount of time due to our wifi being permanently/temporarily shut off, and I have no clue when we'll get new service providers. I don't know of part of the reason for this is money issues? But either way, I'm not too worried about it, losing internet isn't a big deal. I love you guys and remember to leave me all the messages if you want, you know I'll respond first thing when I return. Love you all again! ❤️

Been a busy couple weeks. Been tending to my expanding pollinator garden. My bottle brush is growing back nicely and I have new milkweed plants, including Florida native swamp milkweed which is growing waaaay taller than advertised. Got new seeds sewn and already some caterpillars! It's a full time job being a bug daddy.

Embarrassing when you realize you forgot to pay a bill. Luckily the insurance company didn't cancel on me or charge a late fee for being a week late. Wondering why I had extra cash to spend, haha!

https://youtu.be/Oj3gIqTsOXc?si=xy5TwuAig7D570U0 Artist: Seal Song: Crazy

1 Timothy 1:15 15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. Paul said he is the worst or the chief in other translations to show there is no limit to God's grace and mercy. That no one is beyond redemption. Paul before his conversion persecuted the chruch beyond measure and actively tried to destroy it. But, God redeemed him. The story of paul let's me know it's gonna be alright even as a narcissist because paul said it is trustworthy and deserves full acceptance that Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. I have trouble believing Jesus could love a narcissist especially with the schizophrenia voices trying to cause anxiety in my heart. But, I accept 1 Timothy 1:15 to be the truth. And, feel relieved. Not because I look down on paul and think myself better than paul before his conversion but because I also see myself as the worst sinner in my mind. In the Jesus Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector Luke 18:9–14 the two men went to the Temple to pray... The Pharisee: Stood proudly and boasted about his good deeds, using the opportunity to look down on others. The Tax Collector: Stood at a distance, refused to even look up, beat his chest in sorrow, and prayed, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner." Why he was justified: To be "justified" means to be declared righteous before God. The tax collector's prayer worked because it was an act of genuine repentance and humility. He acknowledged that he could not earn his way into God's favor through his behavior. Instead of just reciting a magical phrase, his actions demonstrated complete reliance on God's grace rather than his own good works.Jesus concluded the parable by noting that the tax collector went home justified—or made right with God—while the self-righteous Pharisee did not. I keep thinking that more self righteous I become the more God will love me. If i do everything right I can earn his love. Cause I'm to scared to just admit I'm a sinner and say I need mercy and ultimately rely on his grace and mercy cause I'm to scared he will forsake me. But, God said he will not forsake thee. Human effort alone cannot make a person righteous before God. Instead, righteousness is a gift of God's grace, applied to a believer through faith in Jesus Christ. I understand I can't earn it that I'm totally reliant on his grace and mercy. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I am the worst a narcissist but if what paul said is True then I need not be afraid. I can't look at myself and say God but what about my good deeds as if they could make me righteous before God all I can ask for is mercy for a sinner. The Pharisee trusted his performance the tax collector trusted God character and mercy. Paul confidence wasn't I finally became righteous enough it was Jesus is merciful enough. Paul final identity wasn't the persecutor the denier it was Apostle Paul of Christ Jesus. Narcissist isn't my final identity to Jesus I understand that now.

https://youtu.be/-czQk--q2Ng?si=-BAnyaLvAqCBG2ru https://youtu.be/WtYLZgCEnwQ?si=j2iyWpKgoH-lLdWq https://youtu.be/DHwK5FYyQl0?si=eoWC4y2b-s7-w6BM https://youtu.be/mFPxBWUgmeo?si=H51t246TL95QDtd- https://youtu.be/jBSUJwTXuwg?si=E_-zGL8f_MlSvBHL