I finally reached the point where I admit to myself I can't comprehend God. My attempts are just a small minded human trying to put him in a box I can understand. I admit God is more than the human mind can comprehend. I'm done putting him in boxes I think I understand. And, let God be God totally incomprehensible to me. I lean not on my own understanding. I just trust him at his word. I'm tired of these terrible ideas of God I put in boxes surfacing to contradict God. But, I didn't know how to stop them. That's because I didn't acknowledged that God is beyond my comprehension. Now I do. Now all the sticky boxes fade away. And, I'm left with a God I can't comprehend but I trust. Instead of saying this box is right about you in my hubris which is intellectual meaning I'm leaning on my own understanding. Now I switched to faith and trust and no conflicts arise cause now I understand God is beyond my comprehension. Realizing you can't completely figure God out frees you to trust him more. If you have God all figured out in your head you might not trust him. Totally leaning on your own understanding. God has many mysteries to him. His word tells us of his character and that's what I trust even though I don't completely understand. I acknowledge the difference between faith and intellectual understanding most of the times they collide faith fundamentally requires stepping beyond what can be proven or intellectually grasped. What I grasped was of no use to me if I call my self a man of God a soldier all it did was made me skeptical of God and collide with the truth of who he is because I don't understand intellectually. Or I understood a different truth about him. Now I understand his words are the truth regardless if I understand it or not. Now I have more faith and less conflict. I had a intellectual resistance to traditional faith. That's what was hindering my faith. I had faith my information was better than the truth. I had to acknowledge it's ok not to understand and that I may not be able to comprehend God. Faith comes first then understanding. The concept of "faith comes first, then understanding" largely stems from the famous theological phrase fides quaerens intellectum (faith seeking understanding). It means that you first accept God's truth through faith, which then unlocks a deeper, richer understanding of it later. I truly believe faith comes first then understanding. I haven't been trusting God and leaning on my own understanding. I thought my knowledge was better than his. But, now my faith is moving up hallelujah. All glory be to Christ. I pray one day I taste the wisdom and understanding of the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me. But, I trust God with the future his will not mine he knows best. Here's the video that spurred these thoughts today. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8GqxNd2/

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqPAOsIEDcI On an old trance kick today, used to love playing marathon charts on ITG.

39ch - HATSUNE MIKU STATION♪¶(⁄•˅̮•∖)⁋♡ https://www.youtube.com/live/VzyRFyPadiw?is=QFob9BztRjFOKCKZ

My dinner, home made pizza made out eggs and greek yogurt with turkey pepperoni and real bacon bits. It tasted pretty good honestly, I just used too much olive oil on the pan.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExM3prNG40cWh3cHNiZWFuazIxZ2VwNnZqdHB4NjI1eDd6Y2Rsdm5hdCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/nNdk3x8Lwyddm/giphy.gif

Got bored and did a couple of these uma tests. Based on my results, I've come to the conclusion that I just have too much aura to even calculate.