Is men chasing women outdated?
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dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
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Is men chasing women outdated?
dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
This is something that's been on my mind, and I know most women say they want to be pursued by men still (especially normies), as it has been for eons, but it looks more like, we're at the point to where it isn't working so well anymore.
Example: I have a bro that I've known for a couple of years.
He's a single father, with two kids (one is special needs) and a dog, has a home, works a full time job and is a journeyman plumber, the best I've ever seen really.
He's a True god fearing christian man, rough on the outside but still in good shape, he can cook and takes care of everything that happens.
Really, there's nothing wrong with him, but the world still expects him to pursue women? Shouldn't women be chasing him?
For a long time, and most of my teen years, I've not had interest in romance or relationships, but now that I want something, I still have no desire to do the same thing every other man has done, partly because it didn't work for my father, until he didn't try doing that, he found my mother. But mostly just because from everything I've seen, women aren't what they used to be, or maybe they never were and the facade has dropped?
I wanna know, should women now pursue men, or are we all doomed?
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Chocopyro @chocopyro
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Is men chasing women outdated?
Chocopyro @chocopyro
The most successful relationships I've observed over the years are the ones where both parties pursue each other. Human social dynamics are somewhere between Chimps and Bonobos. Chimps are a patriarchal social structure, Bonobos are a matriarchal social structure, and we've seen in humans that both approaches are effective mating strategies.
Society be damned, this is evolutionary psychology.
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dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
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Is men chasing women outdated?
dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
@chocopyro You're right, I was even thinking after posting that "the only way for relationships to work, is for them to be organic, which would require BOTH sides to pursue each other."
But, since the majority of people, especially normies, are too ignorant of this, well, the rest of us are screwed (Or not if you think of it the other way, ehe).
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Chocopyro @chocopyro
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Is men chasing women outdated?
Chocopyro @chocopyro
Yeah, I really think social skills should be taught in schools, especially in a day in age where the average etiquette for treating each other is what we pick up through osmosis in online communication. Gen x didn't really teach our gen this stuff, or at least what we were raised with wasn't really adequate for real world dating. Zoomers are in a much worse boat. We didn't really have time to start putting it all together in a digestable manner before they started popping into the world. Thankfully, they do reference the science, but a lot of mating effort technique is as you say dated, and a lot of them know that.
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Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying
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Is men chasing women outdated?
Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying
I think the way humanity has gone about it since the start has been wrong (I'm sure). It shouldn't have to be a chase necessarily at all, I mean, it is one thing to "court" someone or to even test things out on a possible future spouse to see about compatibility. But the term "chasing" has always sounded...wrong to me (and I'm a woman) in a sense.
No one that claims to love you should EVER have you chase them. For if you both love each other the love is (as Choco said) freely given and mutually shared on both sides, I think it would be beneficial for both sides to pursue each other and not just one over the other really, because both sides are actually very miserable with the dating scene.
I really do think the way people have taught most men and women to pursue relationships is more transactional, and we should know why that is a horrible idea as relationships are NOT nor ever should be treated like a business deal.
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yaasshat @yaasshat
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Is men chasing women outdated?
yaasshat @yaasshat
I suppose we could go back to the original ways and marry off our daughters so the family can have wealth. No chasing if there's no choice.
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Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying
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Is men chasing women outdated?
Rose Mommy ® @wei_ying
@yaasshat That is even worse of a proposition XD
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ΛᄃΛᄃIΛ @acacia12
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Is men chasing women outdated?
ΛᄃΛᄃIΛ @acacia12
In my quest for true equality among the sexes I give women a 20 second head start before I chase them down.
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anonmouse @anonmouse
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Is men chasing women outdated?
anonmouse @anonmouse
What exactly do you mean by pursued?
Women changed. Thank God. My Grandmother married my Grandfather because he kept pestering her for over two years (apparently nobody saw anything wrong with that back then?) and she eventually gave up (couldn't be me as I am not what women "used to be"). She spent her entire life with him and never complained. But in moments during which it was just us she admitted she wished she never said yes. And that she never actually loved him. It broke my heart. What made it worse is, I love(d) my Grandfather. He was the one who got me into computers and into botany. I spent far more time with him than any of my siblings and was definitely his favorite as. Knowing he essentially disabled my Grandma from ever feeling true love and passion... Damn. Fitting those two versions of him together was rough.
I personally have absolutely no problem approaching guys first. I won't chase them. If they say no that's a no. Similarly, I don't want men to chase me. If I turn someone down that is final. If I somehow change my mind I will approach the person.. and they can turn me down if they are no longer interested.
Not sure if I thought to deeply into it, hah.
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dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
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Is men chasing women outdated?
dave_the_hermit @dave_the_hermit
My bad, chase is the wrong word to use, I mostly meant the one initiating something, and wanting to continue it, assuming both parties mutually agree. I've had to teach myself grammar, punctuation, and vocabulary, but recently I've been lacking in that regard, anyhow.
So far it's been males that did such a thing, but was wondering if it's no longer something worth the time for males to do? Should women now be the ones to initiate conversations, more so than men? A lot of guys are sick of trash ghetto / sexist women, so is it even worth it for us to even try?
Someone has to initiate something, or else we will distance ourselves from others, I'm just curious about such dynamics, and maybe solve a bigger underlying issue. And as a guy, I have no idea how women think, I just know how they act to certain situations, which doesn't count for outliers.
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