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Dear Friends,

Real commitment should start during the BF/GF stage. The partner must decide to nurture and grow the relationship. Falling in love is different from staying in love. Loving a person is a decision. Many have been inlab todo-todo and todo-the-max in the beginning but the coldness of looking at each other drops below zero degrees over time. In a famous book by wilard harley, Jr an American marriage counselor, he introduced the concept of love bank. According to him, we can compare our relationship by saving "love units". Everyone we meet has an account of our lives. The deposit has a "minimum amount" or "threshold", when the romantic feeling comes out. The feeling will remain as long as that person maintains the love threshold. This is also the trend in people where you deposit your love untis. You get closer to the people who deposit love with you and so do you and them. on the other hand, if you get emotional pain from someone, the love bank can become a "hate bank". A person loses or withdraws his "love units" from your heart. If he becomes a habitual withdrawer, his account will eventually go bankrupt. his account. The irog will automatically go away, this may result in you throwing in the towel or giving up on the relationship. Avoid withdrawing from the love bank and grow your deposit by continuing to show love. It is not your job to change the behavior of your partner. It is his/her business. Your job is to teach yourself how to understand him and how to deal with him.
Will prob have this read at my wedding ... instead of the typical Corinthians stuff people go for.
Love is something which makes you ignore all the advice you give to others when you're single
Bro fucking same
Jan 09, 21 at 12:09pm
Didn't do any of the "corinthians stuff" and look at me now! Look ma!!!! No hands!!! Any who... Love is as I've always said, sacrifice. However, it's not an unwilling sacrifice and in the context of a relationship, it's a mutual sacrifice for the betterment of the whole. Sacrifice isn't as big of a word as one might think, it is however, a very difficult one to keep up with.
@yaasshat Just thinking you might be the only one on here that has been married and lived to tell the tale. oO Would you do it again? What's your hind-sight of it all?
"Love is blind" It causes a person in an unrequited position to view everything the other person does or says as signs their feelings are reciprocated. ---He/she liked my comment, or said hi, or replied to my post, or gave me a compliment... that must mean he/she is interested in me! It causes a person in a relationship to ignore red flags ---Her phone has a text from someone named Dirk that says "Last night was amazing..." Oh that's right, I think her brother's name is Dirk (it's not) and it must have been his birthday last night (it wasn't)
Love is ehh on the blind thing. It's kinda like a bias because you will always put your attention on people who you find attractive in the first place. So anyone who is not physically attractive to you are gonna fly past your head without you knowing. Plus even if they do confess to you will still not be able to get past your physical preferences to give them a chance. It's romantic to think love really is blind but most of the time it's pure biology and genetic science.
Jan 09, 21 at 2:15pm
@verucassault One. Absolutely. Sooner rather than later? Ha! Two. I get the feeling there's some apprehension... This isn't the first time youve asked something in that vain. Honestly, if you can find non religious premarital counseling, I think that'd help, I know that's something I wish I did...amongst other things.lol
@yaasshat Worth a shot, but if I have any apprehension it's more to do with the combining of our financials, or in my instance, debt.
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