The problem dating.

(Tittle was supposed to be "The problem with "dating"." but I can't edit it) This might sound crazy but I think the dating system is kind of screwed up. Personally I like taking things slow and easy, getting to know people for what they really are in a friendly no strings attached manor and letting whatever happens happens as things naturally progress along the way. Normal people seem to hate this concept however. They rather go on "dates" with random strangers where each person pretends to be something they're not in order to impress the other person. In this system of theirs it takes many of these dates before they start to get past the lies and lust and learn anything about the real person. This might mean getting involved with an incomparable person and only finding that out after a month or two of dating. Sometimes people try to force these relationships to work, but then that just seems to make the eventual break up that much more ugly. Only to do the same thing again over and over again. I really don't get why normals do things this way or why they think a relationship built on a foundation of lies will last. It doesn't surprise me when I hear of people getting numb to all these short term relationships. When they start turning bitter and fickle and untrusting of people as they come and go from their lives one after another, and in turn becoming incapable of forming long lasting relationships or trust anyone. Nor does it surprise me when I hear about normal cheating on each other left and right because they tried to force themselves to make these doomed from the start relationships work. But to normal people this is just how it works. It's considered normal to have a dozen failed relationships by the time your middle ages, eventually having divorce or two under your belt, then in old age settling for whatever you can get which usually comes in the form of someone who has kids of their own by then from their own failed relationships. I really must be crazy for thinking that all sounds horrible, and wanting to meet someone I can get along well with and see spending the rest of my life with. Crazy as it might be, I refuse to play that game. Even if it means sitting on the sidelines for the rest of my life, watching the horror show that is other people's love lives. Unfortunately I can't recommend my way of doing things to anyone else, it doesn't work when other people rather play the dating game. I've found that it doesn't matter how much time you spend getting to know someone, or how well you get along. People will get impatient and go for something quick and easy. I've spent months getting to know people from this site and others, people I'd get along great with, just to watch them break off all contact with me and start dating some random person they just met. Not that I really mind, it might feel like a waste of time but it just goes to show they weren't what I was looking for if they're that's how they want things.

i think its to blame on the fast pace life style we have maybe because we arent too sure what we want either

"Personally I like taking things slow and easy, getting to know people for what they really are in a friendly no strings attached manor and letting whatever happens happens as things naturally progress along the way." That's how I did things and I'd like to think I'm a "normal" ( Whatever the hell that is.). Never had a relation ship under 1yr(Only had three, counting my wife.), but I can give you a bit of advice that I'm sure you're more than aware about...It takes a life time to get to know a person and even then, there's so much to learn. A relationship is just testing the waters of compatibility before you decide (or if) to make it a life long commitment. Even then, that true commitment takes a life time of ups and downs to forge. Some people are unfortunately, not willing to love or put forth that kind of commitment.

Well when you've got literally millions of options at the click of a button that is always in your pocket it can warp your perspective on what it means to settle vs compromise. People are not perfect. So everyone is gonna have some flaws. Ironically people try desperately to hide those flaws and present this perfect persona as you so aptly describe. And I agree, it can't last if you aren't willing to be genuine. What I disagree on is the effectiveness of being that genuine you. If you are uncompromisingly and unapologetically yourself, set your own principles and don't bend on them then you'll find yourself surrounded by like minded people drawn to the real you. Obviously you don't have to be an open book or rant and rave about all of your interests right away to any potential partners. That shit is annoying. Honesty is underrated though.

It's unfortunate but its true. I don't get why we're perceived as abnormal or weird for wanting a functional relationship with someone that we actually have something in common with. I'd much rather stay single and wait it out than be with someone whom in which i have absolutely nothing in common with. I've just never been entertained by the idea of hopping from partner to partner so quickly, and i don't understand why that's so appealing to some people. All i'm saying is getting in and out of relationships so quickly doesn't really entail anything good. People are misguided by lust and think they're in love, only to have kids, fight, and get divorced a couple years down the road. No one's perfect, but that's exactly why you shouldn't jump the gun on every single person that you meet. You could even be married for a couple years and never know someone's true colours until the shit hits the fan say for example a divorce, some of them can get real nasty, and you would have never thought your partner could have that sort of potential of uncertainty. All the more reason to take things slow, and really get to know an individual before getting into the romance side of things. I mean, isn't that the point of dating? At least i thought it was...

the worst part of dating is really putting yourself out there, taking that person in and letting yourself lean on them but not knowing if theyll let you fall or not or on the other end of the spectrum if you think you loved them but slowly fall out i wish match makers were still a thing xD i just wanna settle down with someone and watch horror films late at night in our underwear