Vent

I spend about 300 bucks on my pets per month for skyrocketed inflation cat litter and food. And yet still, I can't file my taxes with dependants

https://media.tenor.com/-I1NoJDSREAAAAAd/game-of-thrones-ghost.gif Still struggling with you being gone, how I wish I could wake up to the sound of you howling and coming home to you causing a ruckus, what I would give for one more day with you. There are days where I cant help but feel like a failure and wish I could've done better for you. I know you're in a better place now, but I still miss you Lobito, my little wolf <3

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For nearly a year, I'm still pissed off by a coworker calling me a narcissist while most others considered me to be honest, precise, "not fucked up", observant, and even boss considered me to be very compassionate while my narcissistic father tells me to stop helping others too much. My family doesn't believe I'm a narcissist and considers the individual that called me a narcissist wrong, but society hates the Autism label being used.

You know honestly I hate that people can't see outside of themselves. There's a lot of discussion about equity these days because more than 50% of millennials and zoomers believe now that equity to be a bad thing. And if you bring it up they think that you want to send people back to the dark ages or eliminate their rights when that's not the argument at all. And while it's obvious that these people don't read and don't even read opinions they don't agree with, the fact of the matter stands that if you have to make special systems of advantages for people because they either don't have the same drive or the same work ethic or willing to put in the same amount of effort, then you're saying that they're lesser, that they're not equal and that they need advantage to get the equal outcome. That being said, if we have advantages in society, in which we should, they should be all equal across the board. Everyone should get the same amount whether they're white, black, Asian or whatnot, whether they're male or female or something else, the same standards, expectations and level of accountability should have to be given and applied to all otherwise you're creating privilege. It's plain and simple, it's trying to create privilege. We need a quality not equity. People who already have things and don't need help wouldn't be getting it anyway, you have to apply for it. So if they already have more than they have nots, they're not going to have more because the amount is equal. They're not even going to take part in The help. Because they don't need it. And they wouldn't be able to qualify for it. Everyone should be held to the same standards and expectations and same level of accountability as everyone else, we should have the same advantages and protections as everyone else. Everyone should be treated the same by the state, federal and local governments as well as the courts. And going further, even if you have a lot more money you should have the same level of representation as a poor man in the courts. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you should be able to get away with things and just because you're poor doesn't mean that people should be extremely lenient on you either if you've committed a crime

Being considered a "narcissist" because of not following this even if I was sent on The Lord's mission for the same exact purpose. People doing the wrong things are looking down on, making fun of and even criticizing the ones doing the right things. The Autism label feels ironically like a shock collar that society only thinks it's child-sized. At the same time, I don't care if I'm considered most beloved or not. Much like when George Washington said he didn't want to be called "king". https://i.imgur.com/qT1TDVW.png

@meisterman1985 I try to tell people that the way of christ is to absolve the ego, and in that sense, I still am a follower of christ, even if not a christian. So uh, thanks for posting that. That said, I'm anti dogmatic, and I don't see how doing the right thing or even the wrong thing for the right reason constitutes you as a narcisist. Seems like the people who are quickest to label people are also the slowest to try to understand them. As someone who has a lot of Narcissists and literal sociopaths in my life, there's a difference between being egoic (or just stuck in your head) and self obsessed. I've never gotten that vibe from you. And here's a little secret. When you commit yourself to service for others, that means you have a responsibility to speak up about your own needs. One thing that kind people honestly suck at is letting the world know when something bothers them until it's too late. People are more than their labels, and ignorant people will always slap labels onto those that they do not want to understand. Ironically, that's something narcissists are prone to doing. We're more than our labels.

@chocopyro Label or no label, people would still question and/or look down upon you and treat you to be like "everyone". Coworker: "You're not autistic! No! Don't even use INFJ! You're a narcissist! You're you!" https://i.imgur.com/LzvMgSm.png Some people say he just didn't get it, due to being close-minded in a rural area working like the Tennessee Ernie Ford song "16 Tons", while others laughed at what he said. I felt The Lord sent me there on a mission to save the rural area from the pandemic. I refused to get vaccinated for COVID-19 because if society hates both Autism and COVID-19, then I'll let God decide whether I deserve to rest in peace by COVID-19 or not.

Ehhhh... My argument against that is, if there's a God, it made us smart enough and gave us the tools to use to survive in life. I could ask my parents for help or use the wisdom and lessons taught, it's sorta like that. One is hand holding and the other is showing that you've learned and are willing to strive to survive with the wisdom gained. To each their own, just don't cough on my kids and be confused when I get pissed.

One of my uncles said "everyone" lives with a disability. My father said I'm not disabled. Major Payne is a good example of an unlabeled ableist. "Sir, you need to stand up for the national anthem!" "But I have no legs!" "That's not an excuse!" https://youtu.be/9s3NZaLhcc4 Another one of my uncles said most people rather have revenge than justice. https://youtu.be/f5x1RyJOwP8 My father and stepmother considered me irresponsible and immature. https://youtu.be/ogLX2heol5E Being lonely is less stressful than wasting your time and energy around people that make you feel lonely enough to build suicidal thoughts. Neurotypicals are so damn dismissive and hurtful overusing the words "everyone" and "everybody" to consider the true supporters that ask, "How can I help you?" dumber. https://youtu.be/PdSUHbQn7ZY