Gabriel

Philippians 3:8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ You ever just lose the plot? I found out that's one of the reasons I suffer so much. That's my problem. The plot is important. I just came to awareness I'm messing up the plot in my head. I tell myself another plot because it's more believable. Like Jesus doesn't love me because I'm a narcissist. That's not part of the plot at all. Jesus loves all of us. I realize I go against the plot because of my own reason and uphold a different plot that's more believable to me. But, I'm realizing it doesn't matter what's more believable to me. Because I can't maintain the good true plot in my head because of my own reason. And, that threw me off because of all the times I lost the good true plot. All because of my reason. I consider myself a Christian so why do I lose the good true plot so much. That really erked me. I realize it's because I'm still believing what makes sense to me. I been alive a long time and formed all types of bias with my reason. I'm finally putting my bias and reason into question because I can't even keep the good true plot in my head. What good are all these bias and reasoning if it makes me believe a plot that's not true. I wanna follow the good true plot and not be held back by the shell of what I know. I look at myself and know I'm fallible. So I'm finally more inclined to detach my attachment to certain directions of reasoning. Because it erks me myself holds me back from keeping the good true plot in my mind. What I know anyway is like a quicksand I can't escape from because I know and believe in it. But I'm tired of sinking further and further into things I know if they make me hold a plot that's not true and interfere with holding the good true plot. I'm ready to detach from my attachments to certain directions of reasoning. Because I formed to many negative bias that go against the good plot true plot. I will lose what's in the way of me knowing Christ and count it as garbage. Losing the good true plot annoys me. All because I think I know some things. I'm ready for a fresh new outlook. Those are hard to come by because of what we know. Atleast it was hard to come by for me.