Here are my views on the duality of schizophrenia aka demonic oppression the good and the bad. As a narcissist schizophrenia came in clutch right when I was on the cusp of insanity. I was severely delusional. My ego was big and consuming all it could to feed it self. And, I thought I was perfect. Schizophrenia busted down the door like swat and gave me a shock to my system and kicked my teeth in. The the voices started calling me ugly, evil, fake, delusional, and saying he thinks he's perfect. This shock to my system woke me up when typically a narcissist doesn't have awareness. This shock and the validity of what was thought of me acted as a counter balance to my ego and caused my ego to collapse and re assess right when it was on the cusp of insanity. The darkness they was bringing to my attention had opened my eyes. I saw my darkness and for the first time was not unaware of it. Before schizophrenia I thought I was making strides towards awareness. Then the voices came and showed me I don't know shit about myself. Them challenging my beliefs about myself and overall trying to overwrite my beliefs entirely put me in a much needed survival mode. God let it happen so who I am can stand in a storm. Yes it was tortures and added another layer of delusion. Like the time I yelled at my upstairs neighbor like they was doing it to me and I knocked on there door to confirm. I had some wild delusions but over time I came to realize that the voices may not be delusions but they want me to be delusional. Over all schizophrenia countered my narcissist condition. I spent years battling narcissism and schizophrenia and rebuilding my ego from scratch under the voices scrutiny till the things I know about myself could stand throughout the storm. When I started standing the voices became less useful. Because I wasn't wallowing in despair anymore and learning about my darkness. I was standing with the information. They don't want you to stand with the information. The darkness that once opened my eyes was trying to close them. Cause they want to overwrite my beliefs with the darkest ones. When that shock was necessary I'm happy it happened because I needed my ego pushed back against and even destroyed some. But, I no longer need that shock to my system. They don't want you to be proud of how far you come and to have self compassion on your self. To acknowledge your achievements. The voices want to destroy your self worth and any emotional vulnerability you have. They want you to listen to them that your below human and deserve there torment in belong in a headspace of no compassion by them and no compassion on yourself and no compassion from others. But, I outgrew that and no longer need that shock factor. The voices aren't useful anymore I'm thriving. I have no intrigue, interest, or familiarity with them. I just take my meds and ignore them. I know they just want me to despair. The initial shock was good but it's not needed anymore the darkness trying to close my eyes now. Just some positive and negatives of demonic oppression. God used the evil for good. The voices would of like if it destroyed me. All in all schizophrenia needed to happen to me. So I don't even blame God. My ego before schizophrenia was so out of reality I don't know where I was headed. I'm thriving and the voices are of little use to me. But, I find it keeps me on my toes with there little reminders of my darkness cause the voices act as a unwanted reminder that cracks my rigid ego and makes me face the uncomfortable truth of my many failures. Something a narcissist refuses to face on his own accord. Though they exaggerate my failures and darkness to try and overwrite my beliefs and light which I don't appreciate but I always learn from being thrown into fight or flight. Though I'm kinda outgrowing the whole hurt me so I can see gig. When I learned how pain blinds you. Some pain is good for waking up the system but to much blinds it. And, all they bring in is pain so now I filter it or just straight up ignore them. I'm waking up on my own so I don't really need the wake up call. Though I'm still a narcissist I'm taking my baby steps. One day I will be able to run. I definitely don't need to be in the pit of despair and getting beat up to learn. Those days are over. That's not the way. Though there little abusive reminders won't kill me I know how far I came and I can have compassion on myself. Is this stuff not suppose to be talked about I don't care about the spear of influence or the game plus I'm a narcissist I don't know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSDQJBF96aw Stellar Blade has some of the best music. I'm still listening to it after beating the game. This is the perfect summer song that always boosts my mood

https://youtu.be/AVYYpNaSs2Y?si=vFSq0xb2DDtbf9WQ Band: Toad the Wet Sprocket Song: All I Want

@gabriel_true I never thought about watching that. Lol, the dude from konosuba just straight up called him out. Shadow is funny man he such a fruad.

I had a feeling Reinhard and Reid were related by the hair and eyes alone before factoring in their unmatched martial arts capabilities.

Ya know, never had to do salt baths before, but this Epsom Himalayan stuff does appear to make a difference. (As one can tell in the picture above I've been transformed by it's mystical therapeutic properties Ranma 1/2 style!)

Chud the builder is cooked. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8pP2CDe/ I don't do the whole blood for blood thing. And, I'm outside the sphere of influence and the game that ignites racial hatred. I actually don't want the justice system to throw the book at him. Cause he not gonna have fun time in jail. But they probably is as to not condone the type of behavior he showed. I find it strange you can antagonize black people then claim to know God and suddenly become Christian and holy. But maybe almost killing someone and facing jail time woke him up to the idea of God. Or it's just him trying to act holy so they don't hit him with that jail time. His post before the shooting let's us know what he thinks of the value of a black life and the hatred in his blood. When I talk about white people darkness I always try to speak life into them. I let them know I see there darkness but that's not all they is. This guy just goes around antagonizing black folks and not speaking life into them. Still I don't want him to get obliterated in jail. Maybe God can work with his half heartedness. Bruh is cooked though. I know white people are in so much pain that's why I can't fault him. But, people aren't forgiving as me. Bruh doesn't know what he got himself into. Bruh just threw his life away because he hate us so much. Edit: People really think Trump is gonna help him that's how embolden they is by the current administration to not treat people with dignity and respect. They don't have to hide no more. Poor white people your in so much pain.

@arc You can't pause an online game mom! GAWSH! https://media1.tenor.com/m/N-J2ybX_Cg8AAAAd/explaining-me-explaining.gif

Buddy Bars, are some Delicious Deals™ alright! Up there with name brand Nutty Buddies if you ask me. And the best part is ya ain't gotta nut to get into these, buds!