Views on Mental Illness

@willworkforisekai Perhaps the best we can do is end the discussion about that overused buzzword like how Morgan Freeman said about racism, "Stop talking about it then!" It is worrying, which is like worshipping the problem and crippling faith. Even though no one is immune to prejudice/discrimination, resistance helps.

as a recovered hikki neet and currently on meds, i try not to associate with people with mental health issues. i grew up with someone who was absolutely bipolar/extreme emotional irregularity that made my whole life hell is likely the reason for my anxiety disorder/social anxiety, (i remember my first reaction to learning she was arrested was to be relief that she wouldnt be around. i celebrated with my brother. we were just little kids and i think my mother was actually surprised. she has no idea the shit she put us through) and i never want to be in that situation ever again. plus iv spoken with some people on here that had problems related to emotion regulation that were not so great. its kool if you got your issues that your managing, but your issues can not be my issues. i dont make my depression/anxiety anyone elses issue, never have and never would. it feels like the pengulum has now stated that 'never hide your mental illness, dont be embarassed by it, ANNOUNCE IT AND MAKE EVERYONE ELSE YOUR THERAPIST.' i do think a healthy amount of shame should accompany a diagnosis. iv always had immense shame/guilt regarding others being involved in my own struggles, and i hold a subconcious disdain for those who do it (probz cause thats the kinda person i grew up with, made her pain everyone elses with 0 accountability)

Being a narcissist and schizophrenic is tricky and hard. Cause on one end your a narcissist who did terrible things. And, on the other end your schizophrenic so the voices abuse feels normal. You learn to accept the abuse as a way of life. But, I realized the voices only want the annihilation of my self worth. They want me blind to the fact that even with narcissistic traits and patterns that does not mean I STOP BEING HUMAN or become UNWORTHY OF COMPASSION. My gf has alot of compassion for me. My baby momma has alot of compassion for me. My mom has alot of compassion for me. So why do I think God wouldn't have compassion on me when he's better than all of us. I know how to maintain self worth / self esteem cause I fought for 7 years and accomplished alot. But, the voices have a trick if they tell you enough times how worthless you is you begin to think you belong there under there torment. I don't belong in a place of no compassion. I don't belong in a place that eats up my compassion for myself. And, staying there only makes me blind to those who would have compassion on me. They just want me use to staying in that place of no compassion they create so I think it's normal. It's not normal people can have compassion on themselves. People have showed me compassion. God is more compassionate than I realize. I'm not some non human blight you can just beat and I'm supposed to shrivel up and take it and agree this is what i deserve. I'm also human and allowed to have compassion on myself. I know they just want to annihilate my self worth. God often gives us better than we deserve. But, they would try to trick me that there is no compassion for me. They would try to trick me out of compassion for myself. Anyway, that's all I have to say on the subject. Glory to Jesus for helping me understand this

I am neither obsessed with nor against religion. Jesus had bigger issues with the religious elite than with sinners. Misrepresenting God does more harm than living in open sin. The latter can be cured, but the first keeps people from turning to God. This is probably why this coworker I met (that thinks I'm a "narcissist" for using ASD as an excuse for bad behavior) told me quote, "Don't get too religious!" Shortly before Trump's second term began, I encountered a Caucasian man wearing a white tanktop, blue jeans and cowboy boots in a Panera Bread restroom who was carrying The Bible in there and when he committed flatulence at me, he told me quote, "Jesus loves you!", and when I told him, "Jesus was a non-conformist!", that man told me quote, "Jesus is The Son Of God!", and my mother cringed when she heard about that man I met. James Talarico has disagreements with Charlie Kirk, but still considered him a child of God. James also said quote, "Don't conform to the sick system!" Jon Ossoff told Marjorie Taylor Greene quote, "Welcome to the resistance." Neurotypicals (people free of physical and mental disabilities) are about social compliance which sounds like the Yankee name "Union". Neurodivergents (people with various mental disorders such as ASD, ADHD, AuDHD, bipolar disorder, BPD, psychosis, William syndrome, etc.), are about disobedience, which sounds like another name for Confederacy, "Rebels". The Democrats and the Republicans during the American Civil War were the opposite of the same political parties today. People keep moving back and forth in deciding who they vote for. Libertarians will remain lesser-known.

Here are my views on the duality of schizophrenia aka demonic oppression the good and the bad. As a narcissist schizophrenia came in clutch right when I was on the cusp of insanity. I was severely delusional. My ego was big and consuming all it could to feed it self. And, I thought I was perfect. Schizophrenia busted down the door like swat and gave me a shock to my system and kicked my teeth in. The the voices started calling me ugly, evil, fake, delusional, and saying he thinks he's perfect. This shock to my system woke me up when typically a narcissist doesn't have awareness. This shock and the validity of what was thought of me acted as a counter balance to my ego and caused my ego to collapse and re assess right when it was on the cusp of insanity. The darkness they was bringing to my attention had opened my eyes. I saw my darkness and for the first time was not unaware of it. Before schizophrenia I thought I was making strides towards awareness. Then the voices came and showed me I don't know shit about myself. Them challenging my beliefs about myself and overall trying to overwrite my beliefs entirely put me in a much needed survival mode. God let it happen so who I am can stand in a storm. Yes it was tortures and added another layer of delusion. Like the time I yelled at my upstairs neighbor like they was doing it to me and I knocked on there door to confirm. I had some wild delusions but over time I came to realize that the voices may not be delusions but they want me to be delusional. Over all schizophrenia countered my narcissist condition. I spent years battling narcissism and schizophrenia and rebuilding my ego from scratch under the voices scrutiny till the things I know about myself could stand throughout the storm. When I started standing the voices became less useful. Because I wasn't wallowing in despair anymore and learning about my darkness. I was standing with the information. They don't want you to stand with the information. The darkness that once opened my eyes was trying to close them. Cause they want to overwrite my beliefs with the darkest ones. When that shock was necessary I'm happy it happened because I needed my ego pushed back against and even destroyed some. But, I no longer need that shock to my system. They don't want you to be proud of how far you come and to have self compassion on your self. To acknowledge your achievements. The voices want to destroy your self worth and any emotional vulnerability you have. They want you to listen to them that your below human and deserve there torment in belong in a headspace of no compassion by them and no compassion on yourself and no compassion from others. But, I outgrew that and no longer need that shock factor. The voices aren't useful anymore I'm thriving. I have no intrigue, interest, or familiarity with them. I just take my meds and ignore them. I know they just want me to despair. The initial shock was good but it's not needed anymore the darkness trying to close my eyes now. Just some positive and negatives of demonic oppression. God used the evil for good. The voices would of like if it destroyed me. All in all schizophrenia needed to happen to me. So I don't even blame God. My ego before schizophrenia was so out of reality I don't know where I was headed. I'm thriving and the voices are of little use to me. But, maybe that's a lie I find it keeps me on my toes with there little reminders of my darkness cause the voices act as a unwanted reminder that cracks my rigid ego and makes me face the uncomfortable truth of my many failures. Something a narcissist refuses to face on his own accord. Though they exaggerate my failures and darkness to try and overwrite my beliefs and light which I don't appreciate but I always learn from being thrown into fight or flight. Though I'm kinda outgrowing the whole hurt me so I can see gig. When I learned how pain blinds you. Some pain is good for waking up the system but to much blinds it. And, all they bring in is pain so now I filter it or just straight up ignore them. I'm waking up on my own so I don't really need the wake up call. Though I'm still a narcissist I'm taking my baby steps. One day I will be able to run. I definitely don't need to be in the pit of despair and getting beat up to learn. Those days are over. That's not the way. Though there little abusive reminders won't kill me I know how far I came and I can have compassion on myself. Is this stuff not suppose to be talked about I don't care about the spear of influence or the game plus I'm a narcissist I don't know. Edit: Anyway I'm lucky and it's best to ignore the voices like doctors say. They could've caused nothing but chaos like screaming with nothing helpful at all.