Views on Mental Illness

@solid_snake95 My gf is beautiful to me in a way that goes deeper than looks. I didn’t fall for her just because of looks. I fell for how real, kind, thoughtful, genuine, caring, sweet, homely, and understanding she is. The list could go on and on. Looks might catch attention, but who she is made me stay. You don’t need the prettiest girl you need the one you actually connect with. That’s what matters. And yeah, she’s human, just like all of us but everything about her, even the parts most people overlook, is part of why I love her. She has the heart of a gaint. That's what I fell in love with. I see her beauty fully when people over looked her because of her looks and imperfections. And, I found a little piece of heaven on the inside of her just waiting for someone to notice. And, I'm glad I did.

@willworkforisekai Reasons why I am not suitable enough for a lover... * Executive dysfunction * Too expensive * Risk of trauma expansion * Insufficient support * Conformity difficulties * Overprotective Helicopter Parenting (fearing that I might marry someone with inconfidence, wishy-washy, selfishness, stubbornness, nosy behavior, truth intolerance, etc..) * Not approved by my family only wanting familiarity. * High intelligence, but not-so high communication skills. * Low interest in local people (preferring either someone from another area or just be permanently single)

@meisterman1985 I'm sorry it's tough for you to find a partner man. That's really sucky. I can't imagine having the difficulties you struggle with. Keep your head up. Edit: You can always work on overcoming some of the stuff you listed as best as you can. One of my motivators in the early stages of narcissism was what I had done to my ex wife. She haunted me for years and that haunting pushed me to be a better man and overcome narcissism to get her back. But, she moved on. And, all my work was appreciated by my current gf. I don't know how hard it is for you to breakthrough your limitations because I don't understand what you go through. I just know for me love motivated me to not let the limitations of narcissism and schizophrenia stop my chance at it. Who could of thunk a narcissist can make his partner cry tears of joy.

@willworkforisekai Father: "Is she your girlfriend?" Stepmother: "Did you have sex with her?" Mother & Big Sister: * pissed off by father & stepmother * Loyal Uncle: "That's because they don't understand your relationship with The Lord." Most people want me to be traditional against my diversity in order to positively attract others instead of repel them or worse, negatively attract them. My mother wants me to keep praying and don't break the Queen's English like my big sister. Father wants me to stay in the job world with no excuses no matter what while my stepmother prefers me to stay in it until I get hired in another job in order to stay employed. But my mother prefers me to take vacations between jobs. I met one coworker who is a laidback Gen-Z guy that kept quitting and getting fired, but preferred me over a Millennial gal being a control freak with Short Man syndrome that stayed up a maximum of 168 hours while my record was 48 and my mother's was 72 twice. The Gen-Z coworker looked at the Millennial one similarly to Stephen King and Bill Gates toward Elon Musk, but he liked me like if I am Jimmy Carter. He told me it doesn't matter how hard you achieve. Unlike me, both coworkers attempted marriages and having biological children. The laidback Gen-Z coworker understood my tastes in video game music and even Vocaloid music, but the Millennial one was like, "Where are the lyrics?" I got hired in the same job before the Millennial coworker did and I quit before the same coworker did. The Gen-Z coworker worked in it much longer than both of us. I'm doing what my mother taught me: Abraham in The Bible who teaches the same thing as this mashup... https://youtu.be/6yltd7baFYA?si=tx1hOrCm16KLFH4J

@meisterman1985 It's hard to understand what your talking about. I'm only telling you this because often times I wish people would do the same for me so that I may learn. If you ever wanna know why your hard to understand just ask if your ever curious. But, anyway I'm happy you felt I'm ok enough to share this with. I think I understand what your saying people want you to go against your diversity to attract a partner. I understand that part. My question is are you happy being your diverse self or do you find that it limits you? Have you made peace with your limitations or do you wish that you could be different? I think you already answered this question in our last talk about what your uncle said about being true to you. I'm not saying be traditional. I'm just saying if anything limits you maybe you can overcome it in a way that's still true to you and God. Maybe your family will even consider giving you a break if you overcome your limitations. They may just be trying to protect you because not everyone understands your uniqueness and alot of people will try to take advantage of it.

@willworkforisekai Sometimes how I feel affects my thinking and communicating. I live in my mind too much. I either overcome it or ride the wave. Overprotective Helicopter Parenting is leading to time-wasting, brainwashing, trauma, silence, loneliness, etc.. Diversity is often seen as "woke", "cringy", "idolatry", "narcissistic", "demonic", etc.. Conformity is seen as "the best way to avoid entering The Lake Of Fire".

@meisterman1985 Sorry your parents treat you like your helpless without them I'm sure they just want what's best for you. Sorry there overbearing has had a negative toll on your life. About diversity people fear what they don't understand. Or they understand it and fear it propagating. I'm no better I think the male on male sex is defilement. Because all the elite do it to prove they big and bad in front of God. And, they push our young black men and other men in the industry to be zesty as a show of power. Edit: They force alot of people to confuse there authentic self for profit and power. But some people are gay and that is there authentic self I have no problem with that. Just don't expect me to cheer and shout for being that way when the elites defile men and confuse men for power.

Viewing ADHD through the lens of evolutionary psychology, pretty sure its a holdover from our hunter gatherer days. A lot of the traits that classify as a learning disability made me a freak of nature at live action activities like HVZ and Larp. And hell, my current job, I'm the fastest putter we have, but when I'm put on casing, I create a quagmire on the otherside of the rails with how slow I am. The second I have to stop and read something, the meticulous adoral fueled hyper fixation kicks in. Now the CPTSD, I only recently have started to notice just how debilitating it is. Years of shadow mending and emotional healing can go down the drain in an instant. Like a light switch flicks, and suddenly I'm back at rock bottom, just like "Ah, whats the fucking point anymore? Not like I've made any progress to begin with." For example, recently I learned, I might be dying. And my mind was just like "Oh well, Good riddance... So what's for lunch?" Still, when you are in the business of confronting negative spiritual entities, you gotta watch out for your mental health. If you're hemorrhaging energy from an nihilistic episode, you might as well have a neon sign on your back saying "Exploit this weakness." Don't use yourself for bait unless you really know what you're doing.

@willworkforisekai To erase my faith, I would have to say me and others on the spectrum are "narcissists" for using our diagnosis as "an excuse for bad behavior" in the job world or anywhere else. Autistic people and other neurodivergents give serial killer vibes to people who do not understand and likely aren't interested. Society believes they are more correct than the doctors who diagnosed us.

@meisterman1985 I don't get it. Erase your faith in what? If your referring to God I hope you keep your faith. If your referring to your diagnosis keep faith in that aswell. Don't let people steer you to some diagnosis your not. But, i don't know what your referring to keeping your faith in. Only you know your limitations. I don't think your a full blown narcissist. Those who use there diagnosis as a excuse for bad behavior I see how it could seem like they have narcissistic traits but idk I'm not qualified to tell. There are some who can't help there situation because they are underdeveloped and lack basic understanding to change. The excuse comes from two places helplessness or feeling no need to adjust. Or it could come from a 3rd place no awareness at all. For me I still feel helpless but I have awareness and the will to try and adjust and overcome my limitations. Edit: Lot's of people let the word impossible stop them. They say you will never understand this or it will be hard for you. But, I'm not the type of person to just accept my limitations and that be who I am. I am more than these limitations. Now I validate a heart that has overcome what many deem impossible. And, it feels good. But, not everyone wants or feel a need to change.