What parts about yourself do you wish you could do better?

Everyone has their own character flaws. Sometimes it's helpful to just acknowledge them and talk about it in a community setting because chances are, somebody out there has the same flaws. So, here it is. Show me what you sad sacks don't have going for you.

I'll start off by acknowledging I'm a bad friend. Because of my upbringing, I disassociate from arguments and drama. So, when friends or acquaintances have trouble with each other, I don't get involved at all to try and resolve it. Also, my stress level directly correlates to how much I feel like interacting with others. I will not interact with a friend for a month purely because introverted activities lower my stress and gives me energy. Interacting with others drains my energy. I think it's because I'm not always interacting with or always wanting to hang out that I have extreme problems keeping friends. It sucks because everyone has someone to go to when they have problems, and I'm never the one they can rely on. I have a lot of acquaintances I talk to every day, but it's so hard for me to go any deeper than a superficial level. Sorry to anybody here who I don't post on their walls enough. I'm not being cold, I just suck in that aspect lol

Where to start? lol I could list, but it's pointless, here. But, I feel for ya @arc , I'm the same, but probably worse.lol Some people can do the whole social care thing and others aren't as good. Is what it is. The only thing you can do is know where the problems are and work on them. No amount of blaming this or that will make a change, no amount of excuses, only purposefully changing oneself for oneself can. It's like me with socializing, I can only become comfortable by making myself uncomfortable and conditioning myself. It must come from a place of self care, first. If you can't be better for others, you must be better for yourself,first.

I wholeheartedly agree with you @yaasshat . And i suffer with a similar thing as you, @arc , the dissociation and not getting involved when friends fight. I've stood idly by while friend groups crash, merely maintaing good terms with everyone. Then again, i mean, how do i know what's true? What really happened? What's hyperbole, even then, fuck, what's right? Everything seems so subjective in that moment. Everyone has their just reasons. But for me this comes from a lack of listening to my inner voice, knowing what my desires and needs are. What i think is right and wrong. I'm trying to work on that now. Trying to be more in tune and at peace with myself. I'm trying to do things for myself, since only then can o really help others without it being a way to get others to help me in turn. Toxic selflessness is a thing.

I have an issue with not telling people what's wrong with me. Last year and stretching into the new year I actually was in a very bad self-esteem episode (I don't really get those), last year it was so bad I didn't practice self-care for like a month (gross I know and I was shook cause I've never been that way before). And I didn't tell anyone what was wrong with me because I got it in my head that I'd be bothering them (no one has ever said that to me before, I say that to myself). I also actually have an issue with loving everyone else so much and when it comes to me I don't care as much. It's something that I always knew is wrong and I've been trying to think of myself in a more positive light, but sometimes it was and is hard for me to see what everyone else seems to. It may sound harsh to say...but I think I hated myself most days and I worried to say that to my family in fear of making them feel sad over my issues. It's crazy, I know, but I have been working on myself as best I can ^-^. It's a journey for everyone here, but I know we'll get it down you guys ❤️

Sounds like depression. Like, very much so. Depression doesn't always mean you need pills or even a doctor (Although, talking to a third party professional who has experience with these types of things may be a huge help with giving insight and, that's a BIG and, if you're on a particular insurance, it can be covered at certain places with no out of pocket cost. It helps so very much talking to someone who has zero attachments to you aside from trying to help you because that's their JOB.), sometimes it's just situational depression and not clinical. Edit: Yes, I like to give unsolicited advice. Get over it! ;P

@wei_ying I think it's amazing how much love you have to give others. The world is so imbalanced with people that only care about themselves so it's rare to see somebody who is the opposite way. I bet the number of people that care about you could feel a stadium. https://i.ibb.co/sWtcvdD/2023-12-07-14-58-36-Hero-Definition-Meaning-Merriam-Webster.png I think you fit definition C of hero in the Webster dictionary, so that's something to be proud of. Caring for others to such an extreme degree is a very noble quality.

Thank you, Arc-senpai (╥ ᴗ ╥). I don't think I'd call myself a hero though, I just treat others the way I want to be treated and how I've been raised, and to me that's not heroic...it's just the way I care. But I really am trying to do better with telling the people I love most my issues, cause to me, if I love them as much as I say I do I could share my burdens with my family once in awhile

Understand this, if they love you as much as you say, they will happily not take your burdens, but instead help you lift them off of your chest so you can breathe. Family/loved ones are to be a team. Maybe I'm just a fool? I mean, I've been cheated on multiple times and have barely a relationship with my family (Although, my sister is trying and was a huge, HUGE financial help, recently. Well, huge for me.), but I'd like to believe that's how it should be. At the very least, I think it'd hurt them more to know you've been suffering in silence out of fear of being a burden to them. It's a journey not meant for the weak and I get how hard it can be to be open with anyone, let alone family. Don't let your luster dull, your spark be snuffed out or your heart be hardened, you've touched people you may never see nor hear by just being you and that's a pretty big deal.:)