Yellow Fever

I won't lie. I think Asian girls are heckin' cute. But then again I can have that thought about girls of literally any other race. It's why the race of someone I'm interested in doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as I like them. But fetishizing someone just because of their race to the point where it's downright creepy, where that person sees the one that fits their desires more as a sex object than an actual human being... Yeah that's just a big nope.

I accept that I only like Asians and I'm glad my fiancée only like blacks. So we both win. Having a fetish is part of the fun. I wish I would of not dated anyone but Asians though. I caused a lot of pain for not following my desire. It's something about being with what you desire most giving so much magic to the relationship. I cheated on my wife for a Asian though it was wrong I can't lie no part of it felt wrong it was heaven. It wasn't till years later as I matured I understood what love meant and the commitment behind it and all the hurt I caused. It was the devil though he put everything I ever wanted in front of me so I would break my vows. But that shit felt like paradise. Lord forgive me. She did all the popular kawaii dance stuff all the time. Sung beautifully. Use to let me pick my favorite anime song for her to pole dance to. Couldn't get pregnant. Watched anime with me and knew all the kpop and jpop songs I knew. She made me docile and loyal when I was so hateful. I was just a goody goody boi. I'm not a loyal person by nature I'm a narc I had to learn that skill. It comes easier when I'm with a Asian just saying. I broke up with her though because I was going through it and didn't want to bring her down with me. I was a dark empty bastard when I did that stuff just looking for something to not feel so empty. I'm a better man now and my ex wife is re married. I'm happy for her. I tried beating narcissism and returning to her but it took 5 years of learning, reflecting, cross referencing, praying, and beating myself up with regret in memory of her until mistakes wasn't apart of me but I was to late. Also, had to get a rude awakening with schizophrenia to breakthrough my bottleneck unfortunately. I didn't expect to be playing mine sweeper for 5 years but that's how dangerous my impulses was. Had to get all that darkness out of me. It's for the best though I didn't love her but I would have tried to be a good man to her cause she actually is a good woman. But, she has someone who loves her fr. And, now God has gave me another perfect partner. So all that work I did to be a better man she get's to experience it and she loves me. My hard work didn't go to waste. I could never become perfect but I like where I'm at though I will keep getting better even though perfection is unobtainable. My gf says I'm really sweet, kind, and supportive and I'm starting to believe her. I just know there's still more work to do. Because I know me. I studied the bastard for 5 years. But, it feels good to be with someone I actually desire and see fruits in the relationship. I could of saved myself and others from so much pain if I just had someone with the power to have me wrapped around there finger. I probably wouldn't of even learned I'm a narc. Praise Jesus for new beginnings for me and my ex wife. She deserves it. Me I don't deserve it but that's God giving me undeserved favor. Great is he. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. I won't mess up this time my Lord. I will cherish her. So anyway my advice is if you got the fever follow your first mind. All my other relationships were fun but they wasn't love. Something was always missing. Both times I been with a Asian was the smoothest love I ever been in. The only 2 times I been in love. Just saying before I grew up and learned to have the thought to not hurt a person. It came naturally with Asians idk why. So if I only had dated them I would of been docile and would not have had to interrogate every section of my mind to the point of becoming schizo. But it is what it is. I'm just thankful for another chance at love. God is good. I pray my ex wife is happy and the pain doesn't linger on her mind amen.

I can't. I want to... Oh, lordy do I.lol buuuuut.... Can't. Gotta keep the peace, right? lol something about ignorance and bliss comes to mind.lol Y'all are silly geese.lol

If it's to the point where you don't date someone just because of what they look like, I don't really like that when people do it. I have heard so many stories of people that wasted getting to know a possibly good partner just because of their preferences getting in the way of getting to genuinely know that person. I don't want to sound mean, especially as I tend to think that I don't understand that mindset, not saying I don't get preferences, but I never was focused on the ethnicity/race/color of the person I had a crush on or whatever. I understand having things you like on someone, but I think if said person's physical features stops you from falling in love with them or attempting to know them romantically, imma be honest, that always sounded dumb to me. Cause at that point I'd question (in this case if I were an Asian woman getting to know someone actively pursuing/obsessed with my race of people in that way) if my potential "lover" is-at the end of the day-genuinely in love WITH me or the IDEA of me, if that makes sense? Again, I'm not trying to sound like I'm bashing people that have certain preferences, that's not it at all. But, if the reason for you not dating someone is "cause they aren't [insert race here]" or "they don't have blue eyes like how I want" and not because that person genuinely sucks as a person/is a jerk, that always baffled me personally. But...maybe it's something that I get too passionate over and need to try understanding better? I don't know, but if a person's attraction to a specific group leads to that kind of behavior, it always sounded a bit shallow to me. Again, I know that it's something that could be harder for me to grasp especially as I don't have those thoughts personally about this topic. Cause every guy I liked I didn't care what he looked like really (basic things like thinking he was cute you know? But never focusing on a certain group of people to date) XD, if you were good at heart and kind, you were good in my book. (P.S. not saying that people that have set preferences don't search for those same things. Again, talking about people who obsess over it ^^). Maybe I just need more people's point of views from it because I always feel and worry I sound too judgemental ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ.

@yaasshat Don't you have anything to say? You tend to give really great input, maybe a lot straightforward and a bit terse? But I enjoy the honesty you have. This is me hoping that you have something to share XD (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠).

If Yaass won't do it then I will! *Clears throat* If y'all got yellow fever then I recommend going to a doctor about jaundice. It could save your liver and your life.

This man gets it! My , what was to be, future mother-in-law, literally died just two days from Thanksgiving (True story, bruh.), this year. And she was all yellow... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY