Is it wrong to be upset if your partner refuses to do things with you that they've done with their exes?

For example: the person you're dating says that they don't like the idea of cuddling, public displays of affection, going out on a lot of dates cause they'd rather spend time at home, or if sometimes they feel distant, sexually they aren't all that adventurous or just something you'd want to do with them but for whatever reason they just do not want to. But then you find out that with a previous partner they were much more communicative, they often gave little gifts or had moments where they would just do things with their exes that you'd want to do with them or were much more sexually open & curious. And generally their past relationship seemed to have things you'd want and enjoy that they will not do anymore. Would that bother you? Would you bring it up with them? Is it wrong for you to be upset about that?

Halo in a relationship communication is the key to everything... don't be upset about it... try to talk about it but try not to put any emotion into this. She might be hurt by something when you talk it out it might help her to be more open. god I'm bad with words at times lol...

@Gdmh, I want to be clear that this question is not aimed addressing any personal hangups on my part. As with most of my questions I just want to hear people's thoughts. With that said I do appreciate your response. https://media.tenor.com/images/0af7dd8467e10c229e2ff22eab94930f/tenor.gif

In your example it would seem TO ME that the person who doesn't want to do the things might not want to be reminded of them or the ex they shared those things with. I don't think there's anyway to answer without projecting some, but ultimately if one person wants those things and the other doesn't they need to find compromise or find other partners. Compromising isn't bad so long as it remains balanced which in itself is a struggle.

i'm not sure how not wanting to do pda has to do with hang ups over their ex really? i could be wrong ofcourse that doesnt really sound like a very good relationship at all, and i can see why your frustrated as above has said, try to talk it out and see why she feels this way and how to change things i would be extremely hurt as well if i was denied that kind of affection because of that person's ex. it hurts to think they still have such an emotional connection to someone else maybe try and invent new things just for you and her. things shes never done with her ex, things that will be special for you both

If the expericences with the ex were bad, and not in a way that I could change, I'd be okay with it. Example: not just bad, but painful sexual experiences with exes. I wouldn't want to talk them into trying again with me. That said, things like cuddles are very important to me, personally, and seemingly harmless, unless there is some past trauma involved. I would try to talk it out, compromise, and so on. These good points were already made above. Overall, honesty and open communication is the most important thing. About everything. It reduces stress, misunderstandings, and enforces trust in each other. If you can't talk about your problems, insecurities, or what makes you feel uncomfortable, it's not going to work out well.

@Lamby, I want to be clear that this question is not aimed addressing any personal hangups on my part. As with most of my questions I just want to hear people's thoughts. With that said I do appreciate your response.  https://media1.tenor.com/images/d09e218aaddc9f6370c0b07276207988/tenor.gif?itemid=4712566

I don't think it's wrong to question why they don't want to be affectionate. Open and honest communication is always a big factor in a working relationship, but, that being said, if your significant other doesn't want to talk about it then don't force them. Instead let them know that you'll be ready to talk to them about it whenever they feel comfortable sharing. I'd try and work in their comfort zone till they're ready to move forward and also try and compromise. But I'd also consider if our boundaries are different and also how we view the relationship. In my experience, behavior like that means someone is not that into you. So maybe the partner views the relationship as ending and that's something to consider and take into account as well.

I guess like some other users said that it could be because these things remind them of their ex that they might not be open to trying, tbh if that's the case then it's a bit of a red flag because that might mean that the relationship is potentially a rebound because the partner is clearly not entirely over their ex yet. In this case the saying "you must love in such a way that the other person feels free" is probably the most applicable, the worst thing you can do here is trying to lock them down to a commitment. You should have a take it or leave it kind of attitude in this situation.