Denial

Have you ever been in a relationship where you have the feeling of something going wrong but your partner is in denial of what they are doing or what they have done? Seriously it is bad that stuff like this happens and I can understand that because I have been there but seriously have you ever been in that situation?

iv been in relationships and been in denial that it would work out when it wasnt working out at all im not one to give up on relationships, i always think i can make it work or just try a little more but in the end its only hurting both parties only after it did i realize, yeah they werent a partner i needed and im glad it ended xD hindsight is 20/20 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6296c2bbffa66698eac7d44559df4fbddbbe5bb0771afa1b7ad92593c5685396.gif

Im not much of a person for dating, however I've seen a few of my friends firsthand pretending reality is but a lie, she would see her boyfriend kissing another girl in the lips yet she would make all sort of illogical remarks to try to escape from the truth, it was pitiful

@festive I believe that's called being naively stubborn and immature. Such people cling to lies and whatever they can to cope/prevent change. Denial is a defense mechanism after all.....just not a rational one. I used to think I was helping people before out of selflessness in my teens....but in reality, I was doing it to feel needed and to replace my own self-esteem. The whole time I was certain my actions and talks when helping someone were strictly for their sake....but one day, I realized I was holding off harsh judgment and advice, instead choosing to pursue and selfishly try to nurture a deeper relationship with said people by being there for them and helping them, when in reality, I couldn't even do that....when I should have really been giving solid, realistic advice, fixing my own problems before trying to burden anyone else's, and not making everyone else's problems my responsibility. And in the back of my mind, I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out what, until I self-reflected on myself, my actions, and asked questions...cause altruism is often mistaken and misinterpreted by people as doing a kindness and expecting compensation in return...like a loan...but altruism isn't helping someone so you can justify to yourself that you're a good person, some charm used to help you get closer to a friend/lover, or a debt that should be repaid to you...I've learned true altruism/kindness is more about putting other's well-being and thoughts first when deciding to help them, being able to afford and commit to such sacrifices by having some goddamn self-respect... Anyways....sometimes people refuse to see the truth....other times, they simply just can't understand anymore or never knew to begin with, because all the lies, rejection, pressure, and lack of self-esteem somewhere along the line began to amalgamate, until they start living and clinging to the lie as a way of living for them to cope....without them even realizing they're living the lie anymore....which can be very dangerous....especially if this is adopted with other obstacles in life and made into a habit....cause this could easily lead to narcissistic behavior and gas lighting others to what you'd now perceive as protecting yourself....I've known people who are in such denial and insecurity, that they'll blame everyone else for their own problems, try and divert the conversation the INSTANT they realize they're wrong, use bad past experiences from the loooonnnng distant past as an excuse to get out of being productive or taking responsibility in messing up on something (example: imagine if a friend paid the rest of your bill out of "kindness" at a Starbucks, and then they demand you pay for their food EVERYTIME you're with them when they're getting food and will keep using that ONE kindness as an excuse 5 years later when they're still bothering and getting mad at you, saying that you should pay), always plays the victim, antagonizes everyone who doesn't agree with them, and rubs in how wrong they think you are, laughing or scoffing mockingly with such certainty of their belief that holds little rationality...its a pretty sad sight. It's like talking to a person living in some alternate reality. Denial is just holding off the inevitable.