This is my true honest opinion on the dynamics of the community of this website.(No joke just real talk)
I have recently read through many of the older posts and talked with many people on this website to find out how the community of this site treats its members and I am noticing a pattern:
1. The most extroverted people befriend each other and find true companionship so they stay and become veteran members of this site.
2. The most introverted people feel they never truly connected here and end up leaving (except those who have an iron will and refuse to let this be a factor. I salute you)
3. I believe it's this dichotomy that determines the self esteem members have participating on this website and it saddens me that we our the culprit.
Think about it? For those of you veteran members reading this why do you love the community? Because you found friends who invited you to their inner circle and you feel a sense of belonging in this community.
So we develop a sense of elitism not in a bad way but more along the lines of: I care and put blood and sweat being active so I stay and those who leave that's their problem. Really?!??? My friend you are wrong dead wrong!
Just read the past and come back to my post, don't you notice the pattern?????? We the more extroverted members subconsciously view fellow other extroverted members and introverted members who speak up as someone worth getting to know.
I know we have the lurkers, creeps, etc. but I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about the more introverted people participating in the forums and attempting to befriend others are being pushed to the side because we subconsciously view them as not worth getting to know.
Well no wonder they leave after awhile because a community exists because the members of it feel they are part of it. If they always feel like outcasts or outside of it then they will grow to resent and drift away.
Yes I am aware there was evil members, dramas, breakups, etc. and those are factors but many of the members here are not affiliated with that and just want to be part of the group.
I'm suggesting we should find ways to be more inclusive to all members who want to have their voices heard and members who are too down and out to make the effort to be great friends. Let's not view them as, "well I tried harder and you didn't so I'll pass." No!!!!
That's elitism 101. That's why wars happen for this very type of thinking. That's why my country is so divided in its issues of guns, etc. because of this passiveness to inclusiveness of members who are different and think differently then us. Let's be better than that.
Can anyone think of ways to make our community more inclusive? I see the discord was one attempt but I think we can do better. Trust me if we do this we can really make this place grow for the better :D Maybe I'm the only one who sees the potential this site holds, but I believe we can undo the stererotype that this site is dead and actually make it alive.
fair enough, if we reached out and looked on the newest tab more often, more people would stay probz
I just care for like 3 people here that's why I stay I guess.
To make this community better we should focus to improve this site more as a Dating platform OR as a social media site. Both together is this wirr warr called MO.
I wholeheartedly agree on this. I've been on here for roughly 2 weeks (at most, maybe?) and noticed a few inconsistent things. Discord was one good idea (not sure if I'm on that one or not), but what if someone doesn't have discord? When I was on an RPG Maker forum, we had a public chat to make it easier to talk to one another. Just for either random stuff, or help on our games. which for serious talk on that, PMs help (which we have already, I know. but moving from public chat to PMs is what I meant).
I think we should all make a list on things we like about this site, things we hate, stuff that could be improved and etc.
I like this site, I love the people here and I would hate for it to enter a "quiet" state again :'(
So a bit of spring cleaning could help as well. I know some sites want to keep certain threads. But I've seen a few multiple of the same type of thread, thinking "why not just bump the old one?" But that's me. Again, that's for the list of things if everyone agrees to it. If not, I'll just type out my list and post it later.
And I probably rambled a bit there. Oops.
I honestly think theres a better dichotomy to describe what happens here. we have several groups that come here:
the ones who just want a community to make friends and go to conventions with or meet up
and those wanting to use this site as a dating site.
we get others who are introverted and creep out other people on the site and they never stay.
while being extraverted and intraverted has some play within this site, i think its more allong the lines that most ppl dont try to use the public side of the site. the forums are where half of the fun is.
None of us who are veteran members of this site are trying to push people away, we welcome everyone as long as ur not sexually harassing people or stalking/harassing others.
many of us veterans want people to feel welcome, we encourage debate and an open platform for everyone here.
Remember we are all weirdies here when you look at how society looks at all of us.
The problem is cliques and lack of reaching out?
Good luck on that changing, it's been this way for a long time. Others have offered advice, only to soon disappear themselves. Besides, there's only really a handful of regulars that actually interact on the forums. There are a ton of people on this site, just not a ton who care about any sort of community. But, if most believe it to be a dating site, it's no wonder most don't care to try to even make any sort of functional community. Personally, thats why I think the social aspect should be the main focus and selling point.
The reason why I stay here in this site is to continue on with my search for someone that I can feel compatible with here in New York City while also making friends. I already left once before but I do not want to do it again as I want to continue on and do better for myself then I would anytime before. I know that a lot of people have left before even trying or some felt that this app or website is just a waste of time but I feel that there is more to MO. Just like MeetMe, it's not just a dating app it is also to meet new people and make friends with them as well.
Didn't really bothered much reading through all the posts, one thing is missleading tho
Both extroverted people and introverted become veterans here, introverts have a chance to communicate without having the interference of physical availability that is what most introverts suffer from, it's less difficult and easier to interact, while extroverts, we make huge nets of contacts and tend to get bored easily
I think this place has a steady balance of veterans vs newcomers but definitely there's way more introverts here
Hi~ I just joined today! If I may input my opinion...I think your halfway on the mark but I don't think that's the complete reason why "introverted/new" people leave or feel excluded.
My first impression of this place isn't so great. It feels like this website is still in its beta stage and has yet to truly become what it's trying to promote.
This is more of a social website with a common interest than any useful dating/friendship tools. The forum posts are very limited in topics and even if shy people wanted to participate there are way too many trolls and people who can't hold a decent/serious conversation to make friends. That's a big turn off and something I stay away from. I'm sure "veterans" have grown with this website over the years have learned to adapt and accept the unpolished features, but it's not really charming to new fellas.
The quality of conversations we see here are not so great either. Most of them are goofy topics with unsubstantial importance, or are serious topics with inappropriate comments and trolls. That isn't the type of community environment I want to make friends in. I might as well stick with gaiaonline because it offers the same thing (diversity, trolls, singles/married, messaging system) except with more options, better foundation, more people, and more forum topics - overall a bigger and more engaging community. Despite there being trolls everywhere, they can easily be ignored due to high traffic while this site moves slowly.
Also, as stated previously before, half of the people are looking for a relationship while the other is looking for friendship. There is a blurred line between the two within the community because the forum is a social place for everything. Everyone's goal is mixed up together and people can't distinguish the differences. Throw in the trolls and you've got the source of the problem.
I don't mean to come off the wrong way, if I did, but this is just my first impression. This website needs a lot of polishing up to do if they're trying to build a community that they're currently promoting in their headlines...
Another issue, I don't even see any moderators...