Vent

@rafaelsanzio Baja California Norte. Tu técnicamente eres Californiano. Es tu culpa? xD Sabes ke? Necesitan mas CANADIENSES!

JAJAJAJAJ Canadiense que pise mi tierra, Canadiense que regresa

Really need to break my habit of having abnormally long naps when I have free time. That, and Miss Chiari doesn't like it when I stay up all night. LOL

*ahem* https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QLzthSkfM

So Kroger had a 4 pack of canned tuna fish for 9.99 and it said "New locked in price". I walked into Kroger and saw that it was now 10.99. LIARS. I'm still pissed thinking about it! https://media.tenor.com/UDxKRkei2BgAAAAC/chi-cat.gif

So I finally found out that there was a name for the spiritual practice I learned way back in high school. I still practice it, and was looking for a way to brand myself in case I ever use it professionally to cleanse hauntings for people. Can't go with exorcist. Too churchy, and my target audience would be a bunch of superstitious clients who think their child's seizures are demonic possession. So I looked up what other energy manipulators call themselves. Turns out there is a name. And its super lame. Dynamokinisis. Be right back. I have a comic book nerd who dabbled in psionics to 'thank' for this cringe. https://media.tenor.com/i0PG6AP1qDgAAAAM/anime-cringe.gif

Been in an on and off friendship with someone since highs school and honestly they've made my life miserable. Been lashed out at multiple times, treated like shit and every time I step away and distance myself wanting to live my life in peace they come back wanting to apologize and make things right only for it to not last long and they go back to their old ways. Even if I stay in this friendship and do everything I can to not get on their bad side I can never be fully prepared for when they lash out of the blue and they don't see nor admit their faults I am always featured as the villian in this story. I just want to live my life while still trying to be on good terms with them but they always mess it up and I'm guilt tripped into staying in this toxic friendship otherwise they'll make sure I'll feel guilty for dropped them. Even then, they always seem to come back into my life whenever there is some kind of crisis going on or they feel bad for treating me like shit and telling me I was always a good friend, that I listened, and that I know all of their faults, and that I genuinely cared about them, etc. I never once lashed out at them, I'm always the bigger person even if they end up talking bad about me behind my back. Why the hell bring me back when you're just going to revert back to your old ways and treat me like you've been all these years and why do you keep lying to me, blowing me off, and villianizing me for just trying to be a good friend to you? I just want to be left the hell alone. Tired of feeling bad about myself for just trying, trying to make things work despite the toxicity. I'm the only one trying to pick up the pieces when you go out and lash out at everyone, and everything. Thanks for calling me a shady person for just checking up on you. Thanks for discriminating against me for being a man. Thanks for not trusting me and ignoring me but do a 180 begging me to come back to you because you feel guilty and know that you did me wrong but you mask it as actually caring about me all this time and that you were just not in the right headspace. None of that gives you the excuse to treat me the way you did. If I can control myself when I'm going through my own troubles and facing my own demons why can't you do the same? Why can't you be honest and stop feeding me lies pretending to be someone you are not, trying to please people yet not letting anyone fully in? You say that I've never changed but in reality you just want to feel bigger. You don't want to admit you were in the wrong. You want me to be in the wrong, because it's easier to blame me for everything then it is own up to your mistakes. I've seen you at your worst, lived through it and yet I don't deserve to be there when you are at your best. Somehow, I am not worthy to be there with you. My greatest flaw is for caring so much and having a big heart. phew, needed to vent this out this song best describes the relationship https://youtu.be/W21-14Od2Nk

Now, I'm not gonna read *all* of that, but I get the idea. Honestly, growing up as at least semi-popular in school. People do that all the time, like they get comfortable. Maybe it's their way of humor? Sorry if I'm digging, but it sounds like some kind of humor that you have had enough of. Much like me with some people on Maiotaku when it comes to JoJo... Probably. LOL. I dunno. Anyways. But you said they are there when it matters. That's a true friend. True friends don't always play nice, that's just normal. But if it's repetitive? I dunno but if you feel it necessary, my opinion is that I think the best way to solve this is through confrontation. Get the one you trust the most, and go for it. Sorry, I'm not that good with advice, but either way, hope you can work this out without too much stress!