If( Success != Happiness) Then..

Hello World, Most of my life, I made myself believe that being in a relationship would be a distraction to what I should really be focused on. I would always put my studies first, above anything else, friends, family, and jobs. The only thing I put my energy into was my education. Not to say it didn't pay off, because it did. I've graduated with a bachelors in computer science, full ride with scholarships, and got an amazing career right out of school. I am not trying to sound ungrateful. because I really am happy that I am so successful but whats the point if you can't share life with someone special? My success came with the sacrifice of a social life, I cant even keep a conversation because I just don't socialize. Not to say I am socially awkward; I've lead study groups, competed in competitions, and presented to hundreds of people, but socializing feels completely different. (Thoughts: Where is the subject, I have no notes to go by, didn't study this material..) I just end up being a passive listener or not keeping the conversation interesting. I don't have an excuse to put off figuring out this relationship thing. So now what? I've done dating sites, nothing for me. I don't think I'd find anyone with similar interest at a bar. How do you socialize? What should I do? Where are all the nerdy cosplaying gamer girls that beat me in video games? A. Taken; B. Not in my state; C. Not Interested; D. I'm Blind? If nothing else, don't take friendships for granted, enjoy life and all its moments. Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Thanks for your time, Jakx

Ouch, yeah, that hits home. Though funny thing is, I am not anywhere near successful in life in regards to success with women, or with making a lucrative living, and I still consider myself a happy individual. I've actually noticed a trend in the happiest people, in that most of them root their happiness in their family lives as opposed to success in any endeavor. Don't get me wrong, if you bust your ass to earn that master's degree, you deserve to be proud of that and all that it brings you. Likewise, if you have a successful marriage that you've worked your ass off to keep going (And trust me, relationships really require a lot more work than hollywood would have you believe) Then you deserve to have that shared happiness. But family. Now thats a more sustainable source of happiness, when you take the time to really explore the individuals within it. And I don't consider myself close enough to mine. Anyways, I agree. Gratitude for what you have is the most important part of finding the happiness you don't realize is already in your life.

Happiness can only be made by you but of course it's heart warming to share it with others. I've done the same as you. I focused on success rather than happiness but my focus on success wasn't for only me; for my family so they can be happy. I live in poverty and even though I may not sound successful currently but I was the first in family to enroll college and graduate kinda early. Obtained my degree in Computer Science(I also tested out of about five classes). Job hunt ever since. Still nothing but still trying. I'm not the kind of person who believe in hope. How I see it, hope gets you no where. Instead of having hope and wishing, I just go get what's needs to be done myself and that's how I achieve success. However, success does not always give you happiness. You can be wealthy and still be miserable. Really, you can only be happy if you create it yourself. It also comes from the mind; not just only from what you do. Even though I hardly feel happiness, I aim for success to create happiness for others such as my family and perhaps friends. The reason why I say perhaps is because many backstabbed me so I became cynical. Happiness is pretty much a good feeling. While I don't feel exactly happy, I still feel good because I'm trying to make others I cherish happy. That's good enough for me. To answer your questions, I socialize however I see fit. If I feel the conversation can keep going, I add more and include questions of all sorts. I like to know people but recently not going as great. I don't really socialize but I enjoy long conversation which I think is weird. What you should do is think some things over. Maybe change a bit. Not change for anyone but change for yourself. You may be happy with your success but it'll eventually get lonesome. Unless you're completely fine with that. If interacting socially is an issue, do the opposite a bit. Kinda like how people overcome their fears. They would do the opposite of what they are feeling. I have some form of anxiety of being around people because I'm not used to being around people as much. However, I still try to interact because I want to meet people and be friends. Simply, if you are happy where you are at and feel no need to do more, then that's good enough for you. But, if you feel something is lacking and can't obtain what you're lacking because of what you feel then you need to change a bit. Just a thought.

http://i.imgur.com/fHHjTAh.jpg http://i.imgur.com/dYT8w3M.jpg

Success is extremly subjective. Personally, money and a conventionally good career never made me happy. My father is another proof for me... He's loaded but in exchange relaxing isn't a thing. He has to be available on his phone always because apparently the people who work under him are incapable and that's really not worth it for me. He often works from 8-8 and I fear I might lose him far earlier than neccesserily. Oddly enough he seems to enjoy his schedule and never rests. He has a lot of possessions that he only has to show his material status. Me though... I could pack all the things that I need to be happy in one suitcase without struggling. To me success is to do what I want to do and get paid for it. Capitalism tried to convince me otherwise but while I do conform to a degree my pride and personal happiness come first. And I never based my pride and selfworth on what society wants me to be.

@Jakx Oh G, that is exactly the same as me, (except I'm more into c# then VB)