Shebang

Met with my current partner here and met in person months after. Will be two years together in five months. Long distance but working out since we are in the same state. Just an hour away from each other.

The years of being miserable pushed me to having suicidal thoughts and a few attempts. I felt that if I couldn't be happy all these years then I won't be on the next so why should I continue living. Even though I was told that I have family, my family have an extreme lack of understanding emotions so I felt alone either way. I had no one who would listened to how I feel. Luckily, due to my stubbornness, I've always wondered if my life could get better. Every time I was about to do those few attempts, that thought came to mind which stops me from proceeding. Every December was when I was the most suicidal because I didn't want to start the new year miserable. Last year, was the first time I never felt suicidal during December because of someone special who I met during that year, months before. I've been with them for nearly a year now and have changed so much since because of them. Though, I still get suicidal thoughts from time to time but because of them and who they are, I haven't attempted any since.