Finding a Girlfriend

I,m a nice guy and all but I'm really shy ever since I was humiliated in school I cant ask a girl out. When I meet someone I'm distant until I get to now them, but I cant ask them out cause I freeze up and think I'll be humiliated again so now I'm somewhat of a shut in I'm just looking for advice to help me.

Gotta pull a Nike and just do it. It's that simple. There's no magic formula or special dance. You don't have confidence? Welcome to being an adult. Just gain it thru victory and failure. Live and learn. Make small talk, invite for drinks, continue small talk and see where it goes from there.

Alcohol give me confidence. Maybe it will work for you. Don't overdo it though. I was out on a date with a girl when I was 21 and I ordered a long island iced tea, thinking it was light on the alcohol because it had tea in the name. Boy was I wrong. I accidentally got plastered on that date. And you know what? I woke up in her bed the next day. Alcohol is the magic potion of opening up, trust me.

learn from the animes jk but gekkan shoujo is a funny show http://img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire4/4365fc8e18a5aaeb08823949d3ff9b341405886138_full.jpg

Arc lol...that's a cute story. I order them because they have the most alcohol in them. That's always the first drink. Helps break the ice.

Speaking of alcohol and girlfriends http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/caresherbear/Family/sig%20tags/funny%20photos/liquidpantyremover.jpg

@OP - Firstly, if you are looking for a girlfriend it will be more difficult and you should stop and take a moment to reflect internally if you want to improve your chances. You are being outcome dependent(neediness) and it may subconsciously cause you to say or do things that will sabotage your efforts. You appear to be hunting and that can be easy to detect for some. Women are very sensitive to certain behaviors that will put them off(aka creepy). Even if they do not consciously know what it is all they know is something does not add up right about the person and they are uninterested and that is all they need to know to reject someone and rightly so. If you want to attract someone you must display attractive qualities and that does not mean acting fake. Looks and money do not always count but help make up for lacking other good qualities. When you are seen in public you should be focused and driven to be making you the best person you can be and working to attain your life goals and dreams instead of chasing a girl to 'get one' like an achievement or possession(that's how they will see it even if you don't mean it that way). Your hard work and effort will cultivate your natural confidence as you progress; it's in your body language, voice(tone and words), and eyes. Then it is easier to learn and make platonic friends with quality people and their wisdom and social value will rub off on you. If you are taking care of your business with any measure of success and socializing to gain experience it is inevitable you will catch someones eye and you will be ready to meet them with little trouble. If you are very un-social/anxious then start by working on that as a good exercise to gain experience and confidence. Go for walks in public places with plenty of people around with a very soft/slight smile(stay conscious of not frowning). Make sure your posture is good, not slouching/leaning/falling into your walk. Practice in a mirror if you need. You want to stand tall/move like a red carpet star full of greatness(don't over do it) not a hollow beaten down peasant. Next start making short eye contact with people you pass(don't stare 1-2 sec max). Once you are fine with looking strangers in the eye without anxiety note if they are looking back more than a second or two. Once you are comfortable then add a smile and nod or 'good day'(whatever your customary greetings is where you live) as you pass by them not looking back afterwards. This will make you appear more pleasant and approachable in all settings. You will never overpower your anxiety of a romantic interest or other stressful social encounters if you can not do it with random strangers you pass on the street/hall that do not matter. Outcome independence in a nutshell: You do not care or invest emotion in any outcome up front; positive or negative. If you get your hopes up it hurts more than it should when it does not go your way. If you bet on failure you will sometimes do things to insure that outcome without realizing it; you played to lose not win. Just go for it and deal with the outcome after it is determined. If you want to think of it as a game, play it like you have nothing to lose because it does not matter either way. When you master this you appear more confident than needy. In context of women you are meeting a stranger, people do it every day so why shouldn't you as well. If you hit it off congratulations you met a girl, if she rejects you just keep smiling casually and wish her a nice day and move on. Remember there are ~3.6 billion women on this planet and more than one is eventually not going to reject you if you keep yourself on track in life. It will not matter what is in the past when you stand in the present and work towards your future. Good luck man.

Not bad advice but usually fail. Why because as you gazing on girls in park or something by spending several hours there. Girls will think of you either creepy or stalker. You can try but not going to work out as you planned. Might as well let thing be the way and if you want to find gf usually you need social confidence by getting a secure job and make your own living. The best can ask friend of your friend to introduce you to girls or join a community. Engage talk with them and after you get to know them and you want the relationship in deeper level then ask her on date or something.

That is a very good point Gamer I should clarify before getting too wrecked(too late lol). Do not just sit staring at people. You need to always be on the move training posture and it's good exercise to be fit and healthy as a bonus. Only greet those men and women who held eye contact with you longer than normal as you pass unless they look unfriendly then just move along saying nothing. Use different places and explore your world. Obviously there are times and places not to do this for safety and common sense to the situation. The point of the exercise is not just for approaching women it is for desensitizing people who have social anxiety in general. By starting small and working up as ones comfort level allows minimizes negative experiences at first, or it may become counterproductive indeed reinforcing the anxiety if they dive in too deep at first. The only way to shake it is to face it and realize there is nothing to fear; it's all in your head. You are just walking places doing your own thing like normal more or less just with a new purpose and mental cognition. It is a common exercise prescribed by counselors to people with social anxiety from my understanding and have seen it help some people including myself in the past. The OP mentioned he is withdrawn with people he meets at first indicating a more wider social anxiety is likely present. Romance and social conflicts up the anxiety level but if you are already starting neck deep you will quickly drown when the tide rises if you can't swim. This exercise is also not for scouting women, it is just to expand your comfort zone in general as long as you need helping all things including eventually talking to women. There is a similar exercise specifically for approaching women that is more advanced but once certain barriers are broken generally the specifics often become naturally intuitive and less awkward with practice. Social anxiety issues can also hold someone back and prevent them from getting a good education or making a good career too. Figuratively speaking: The timid are destined to be made the work place bitch eternally chained to a cart like a mule and fed the scraps while more socially adept people, regardless of qualifications, get ahead faster or become the boss because they believed they are worth the effort they put in and can make others believe it too. Women in general usually prefer those who can potentially become a boss not a bitch. Not calling anyone a bitch btw.... Anyone can master social skills and improve their lives in many other ways. We always have the power to choose even if we are sometimes in a place we don't believe it.