Sudden existential depression moments

Does anyone here happen to fall into bad mindsets where they question their self-worth and overall being? I really want to reach out to people and talk about this, because I really hope I can get some help for this. I wouldn't call them triggers, though they somewhat are, but after a series of elements happen day to day I deem negative I begin looking down rather than up. I fall into a mode where I start to think life may be best worth sitting out of. My stomach turns, my head throbs, and all I can do is lie down for awhile and hope everything will turn out right the next day. I can't shake feelings like this and it's really starting to affect me. I would love to believe I'm worth something, at least to somebody, yet that has become increasingly hard to do. This is one of the reasons I came back to MaiOtaku. I need people I feel like I can talk to and feel supported by. Being able to hold my own weight is a skill I know. That said, there is a threshold for everyone. Once passed, people are forced to drop and fall down. It's nature I suppose. I feel like my threshold is hit multiple times a week and I just don't have the energy to deal with anything anymore. I've faced walls thinking that I should give up, but somehow I've managed to press on this long. I've had thoughts of suicide because of this, but I will not go gentle into that good night. I'm angry at myself for falling into states like this. I really wish I wouldn't, as it only makes them worse. Maybe I'm being to hard on myself. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. I don't know. I really don't know what to do anymore.

I have 3 friends that suffer from depression and go through this on various levels. One friend seems to go through exactly what you describe. I'm trying to be friends with this person (also irl I hope) and help them with this because I have feelings for them. Though alot of this is self image and brain chemistry combined that drops someone into a depression. It's various levels of clinical depression and ptsd from past trauma in various levels depending on the person. So it is unlikely you can avoid these feelings altogether. Having friends helps but doesn't relieve it altogether, but depends on the person. I think having close irl friends would be best but 2 of my friends suffer from serious social anxiety as well which makes this difficult. You're welcome to message me anytime and I'll be happy to talk to you about it.

I'd like to think everyone goes through times like this. Personally, I've been suffering through on going depression for 3-4 consecutive years. You just need to surround yourself with positive people, and think about what makes you...well, you. The good things you've done, the good qualities about yourself. Even complimenting yourself in the mirror is a positive thing. And, never try to help someone else in the same state as you. That is a mistake I have constantly made. Just focus on you right now, because you need your own support. Trust me, you're going to be fine as long as you realize everyone around you see's you as someone far more special than you see yourself. I can guarantee it.

Some depression is very common, but there is a difference between just having low self esteem and wondering about whether anyone likes you or it all getting so bad that you seriously think about suicide. I don't want to deal with anymore friends dying just because of the shit they been through, usually that others have put them through, and so they feel like they are worthless. Or because others brush off their issues as just regular depression that many go through etc. not to offend anyone else here who has milder depression issues. Also, sexual dysmorphia contributes significantly to these issues and is worse when people have been bullied, threatened, insulted for much of their lives simply because they want to be who they really are. Suicide rates are very high.

I know exactly what you mean by the bad mindset. I feel it every time I wake up and every time before I go to bed, just an all around feeling of worthlessness. I've been living on my own with depression for years. Surviving is a challenge we all have to go through, and to commit suicide means that's it. No more chances. Jumping into the unknown. Since you're so young, the chances of you meeting somebody that will change your life are high. I want to be supportive, so message me whenever you are feeling down and we can talk. Nobody should have to go through life without support.

Ya know what? If you're looking for help, talk to a friend, family member or better yet, a professional. I've been there and it sucks. Depression, real, debilitating depression, is not a matter to take lightly or joke about.Many will not understand or care unless they've been through it or are a doctor. Sure, make friends here, but realize that in person help trumps a person behind a screen every time.Above all, do not remain silent. Only you can get the help you deserve.

I suffer from chronic depression caused by the situation I had to live through pretty much my entire life. One thing I learned was, you have to be very patient. Particularly with yourself. If you don't pace yourself and allow yourself time with your own psychological afflictions, then you won't be able to help yourself too much. Once you've managed to allow yourself to cope with yourself, you can seek help and aid through other sources. A favorite choice of mine are friends, or productive hobbies. If that isn't enough, never be afraid to talk to a guidance counselor or professional psychologist. There are also a multitude of depression resources that you can find all over the internet. Heck, if you want, you can even talk to your general practitioner about it and they can help set you up with somebody to talk to. Don't ever be angry at yourself for feeling depressed. We can't always help it, and being angry at the self is often the worst thing you can do because it can make you even more depressed. Just accept who you are, what you suffer through, and do things to counteract it in a positive practice. And don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Thanks for all the responses, advice, and stories. I'm glad I'm not alone though this. I honestly didn't expect this kind of depression to resonate with so many people. You all mean a lot to me. ♥ In response to Mr. Neko, I really don't want to take my own life. Well, not unless I had to. I've said this ever since I reminded my mother about my wish to become transgender (I have, on many occasions, told her). That night some kind of switch flipped inside her which made her think that I was a confused, rebellious child and she didn't raise me right. One insult after another, daggers flew though my skin. That night I cried myself to sleep, and when I awoke I missed the bus in the morning and my mom took me to school. I was greeted with more disparage comments as I rode along, and I walked out of the car with tears streaming down my face. I limped into the building and was seen by the front office's receptionist, (who I'm friend's with personally. I help her on morning announcements from time to time since she isn't to familiar with computers) noticed me and asked me questions I couldn't answer. Moments passed and I was drug tested and they found my heart rate and breathing were skewed, and originally they thought I took something I shouldn't have. I never will, and never have done drugs of any kind. I have never had alcohol in my life either. After I was tested and they came back with 'mixed results' I was handcuffed and driven to a mental hospital about an hour away from the school. My time there was brief as I was able to pull myself together once I found solitude away from my mother. I was released the day after I was taken in. I'm really happy I was able to have a place to think, honestly. It wasn't very loud there. I felt calm. This is when my mind raced to places where it hadn't gone before. Even though I know she hates me for wanting to be my true self, I still love her. She's the one that brought me into this world, and that said, she can also be the factor that takes me from it. I don't want to be a burden on my mother, and I thought that the best way to avoid that is to remove myself from her, and others lives. I don't want to kill myself though, but I also don't want to be a burden, and I don't want to be the thing I am forced to be now. My noggin goes everywhere when I think about this. I'm sorry if it's confusing, I'm not sure if I can even explain it myself. Commenting on Arc's post, I've thought about death the opposite way. When you take your own life, you are making your last move without somebody making it for you. You know how you are going to go, and why. If you live on unexpected things could happen. Things you might want to avoid. The future is unknown, but death is but a doorway to exit the stage. It's clearly marked exit, you know where it'll go.

"Commenting on Arc's post, I've thought about death the opposite way. When you take your own life, you are making your last move without somebody making it for you. You know how you are going to go, and why. If you live on unexpected things could happen. Things you might want to avoid. The future is unknown, but death is but a doorway to exit the stage. It's clearly marked exit, you know where it'll go." One of my friends has exactly that view. The other probably does too. I'm happy you don't want to kill yourself. I just take depression seriously because it doesn't take much for someone to consider it an option. You just need to give yourself time to figure out things and you will also have more options after you turn 18. You can always find friends here.