squirrelatemycookie

Ghost @kuharido I love reading profiles

yuuzora @yuuzora That's relief. I've been getting some requests, but no one tries to introduce themselves, so I wonder how they even get the idea to send a request on a photo and a name and not anything else? Perhaps should put it a bit more clearly somehow. Like in my profile picture. x.x

Ghost @kuharido Sadly some people just want to collect "friends" for boosting their numbers and such.

yuuzora @yuuzora On here? Though maybe it's also what I see with those people on dating apps that swipe right on every single person trying to get a match? The need for validation can be scary. x.x

Ghost @kuharido Not just on here in any online spaces.

yuuzora @yuuzora It's either weird or we're the weird ones. It'll be fun rigging up a profile picture that evokes that sort of "the quickest way to irritate me is to not read and/or follow basic instructions". XD

Ghost @kuharido They won't read that either sadly TwT. I try to make any of my profiles give basic info about me. Usually my interests as that's the best way to talk with me.

yuuzora @yuuzora Yeah I added my interests and basic info, but mostly I had to lay it flat with people seeking immediate romance. It hasn't stopped anyone from trying, but I need to at least have that neat little "I told you so in the..." when they show their desperation too soon. You have to deal with those sorts, too? I remember right, you're not looking for dates right now.

Ghost @kuharido It's not too common for me but I have ran into it. I'm someone who needs to build up a friendship before it turns into a relationship. Right now I'm not really looking I need to work on myself. If it happens organically I am okay with that but I don't want to push anything

yuuzora @yuuzora Aye, likewise on both accounts. A close emotional bond is required, otherwise I cannot feel attraction. So people who expect immediate results will just be frustrated and I will chop their head off if they try to move me along at their desired pace. I'm glad you haven't dealt with it too much. You don't deal with creepers, do you? Those ones are the worst. Just on here, the results are truly scary.

Ghost @kuharido thankfully no, I think my tough front scares them off. Unfortunately I think it's a bigger issue for women users. Which is really a shame.

yuuzora @yuuzora I'm so glad you haven't had to deal with creepers. They really are scary enough to off put the entire process of meeting new people. Especially the coverts. They seem all fine, but you can tell something is beneath the surface. You want to think better of people so you ignore it. Then they show their real face soon as you catch them saying what they really think. Some of them genuinely do not see you as human... Like you're just a consumable product they want and if they save up enough raport, they can use it to purchase what they want from you. So I understand why some people will give up on dating after experiences like those. ;n;

Ghost @kuharido They do sound very dehumanizing. I can be mean when I need to so I would scare them off. I'm a highly sensitive person so I usually pick up on bad intentions.

yuuzora @yuuzora Likewise, I just experienced enough gaslighting as a child to make me ignore things out of fear of misjudgings. Even if I've yet to be wrong. And yeah, it's scary, disheartening, and can leave a person bitter and terrified. A lot of avoidant-dismissive behaviors stem from those sorts of encounters. Rebuilding the ability to trust and a willingness to 'chop the head off' is a delicate balance that is proving difficult to learn. What about you? Do you have any attachments styles you're aware of?

Ghost @kuharido oh yeah, I do. I think have some level of attachment disorder. I'd be happy to talk about it more if you don't mind PM.