Rennik Sadorn

@VerucAssault It's actually not, but it's probably the first time I've opened up about my IRL circumstances more immediately, concisely, vividly aside from the rare ramblings I post with the (very rare) occasional slipped-my-scrutiny spelling mistake.

Confession: I've been a bit of a recluse, not by intent, but by circumstance, ever since my days of being educated were over. I shook off any approach. I slipped like a shadow. I was a ghost. Now the only recommendations to find anything more than someone to divulge my humanities to via roleplaying or chatting for the better half of a minute that I'm being pointed at are... ...The pub and cafes. During Covid19. Wonderful (sayeth I, with much sarcasm). I-I mean, I'm not the sort to usually 'outdoorsen' myself but I've been taking walks frequently, whole hours or more. Now I'm plotting to flip things around, reshuffle my daily schedule, throw in an evening walk to a cafe or something, sit around, and be keen-eyed in the hopes of (preferably) being found because as it stands, my [expletive!] Lucoa Dakimakura's giving me more compassion and substance to snuggle. (I feel that someone, a few people, preferably everyone who wants humanity to survive, should be worrying about this, but so far the only one to address this was o' father mine). And yes I know I sound mad, that's because I cannot help but fathom deeply about everything as I (a male) have nobody (female) who's willing to find the anchor on this proverbial, abstract ship!

Fitting music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRUfcp8Ba6g Welcome to a world that is so close to being 'In a world where the concept of dirty jokes doesn't exist' it's not even funny. A world where compassion beyond text on a screen is vividly nonexistent. A world where nothing is free, and you're subscribed to Life as soon as you exist. A world where, to ascend, you must counterfathom a paradox; To get experience you must get experience, but you can't get that experience without getting experience that is also unobtainable dependent on circumstance. A world which seems to've lost it's understanding that physical health and mental health go hand in hand. I could go on, but this rhetoric has been dispensed before. Instead, I'll tell you that - very slowly - I'm starting to peel away at my procrastination, plotting to craft a story that would enlighten you, o' reader mine, to the lore behind Rennik Sadorn, The Kol Aspirant. Right now I'm trying to deal with this 'fear' of my rationale, my logic, being annihilated by libido and ravenous hormones. How? By invoking wisdom, by fathoming, 'how do I embed my logic and rationale, my morality, into the fabric of my being?'. It's painful though, to, even as I don't like it, be mentally burdened. "Brain the size of a planet, and what do they tell me to do? Fetch paperwor~k..." - Paraphrased MARVIN form Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In other news, there was someone I was RPing with a moment ago, but they vanished off the site.

Some 'junk food' from the thing that generates the equivalent of visual coal. https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-4115.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-5457.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-7176.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-9589.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-2131.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-8724.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-2840.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-668.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-8928.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-4707.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-8110.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-5956.jpg https://www.thiswaifudoesnotexist.net/example-2295.jpg

Thought I'd say, my email's spam inbox is being flooded with notifications from dozens of fake sites asking for me to look at fake people's profiles even though I never signed up to any of them. And what's worse, it's all lewds, and useless. All they try to do is attempt to get at your credit card or the likes - just like the fake people that claim they want to meet you after claiming they're 'ready'. Not only that! They're completely ignorant of the virus and lockdown protocols in effect! Vivid proof they're fake. All that fake-profile-ness has been slicing away at my resistance to natural inclinations (that every individual should by right have the means to sate without having to go to possibly not-really-legal establishments and surrender enough currency for a few dozen/hundred discounted Steam games (or some Xbox Game Pass or XBL subscription time)) and other essential things that enable people to have a balanced mind. Me? I'm out of whack. My mental balance is all over the place and my sense of logic has been impeded by hormones, libido and the likes - I'm sure I've rambled about that before. On a random tangent I read up to the latest chapter on this manga. It's cute. https://mangakakalot.com/manga/hitotsu_yane_no_shita_no My wild, mad 'fantasy', as of now, consists of: >Thicc gamer-waifu material. >Contacts me via social media (or Steam), etc... >Somehow knows a lot more than I expected her to. Showers me with bits of lore/speculation and chatter about stuff we've both seen/read/played and recommends content frequently. >Meet up after marking a mutually known location. Exchange home locations and intimate details. >Sneaks to my place at a random time, coincidentally when mother's not in. >Sneaks me out to a discreet location for privacy. >Illegal handholding, cuddling, maybe lewd activities, occur. >Repeat line 5 for as long as is feasible. Forgo line 3 if quarantine is lifted (becomes a daily occurrence).

Thought I'd post an update regarding what I've been up to: Destiny 2 during the day, Warframe during the evening/night (with sleep and the act of existing barring these), with the occasional anime/manga online thrown in for good measure. What's been happening on Destiny? Me and a friend almost succeeded in completing the Prophecy dungeon. However, my Power/Light level was insufficient, so we couldn't progress to the bossfight area in earnest. What about Warframe? Continuing my slow crawl on the Nightwave Series 3 (Glassmaker) weeklies. Chipping away at the new weapons/Warframe. What manga have you been reading? URLs attached. Mainly these two. https://mangakakalot.com/chapter/toaru_ossan_no_vrmmo_katsudouki https://mangakakalot.com/chapter/vk917567 What about anime? Last I checked I was catching up on Season 2 of Tsugomomo. Anything else? Nature's demands for a mate continue to interrupt my (supposed; it may have degraded due to exposure to nature) logical thinking and preferred routine(s) - which were already obstructed by quarantine measures and lockdown. Said routines included being a volunteer locally at a place. Details withheld due to being already known, or not.

Thought I'd throw in a wild list of anime* I've watched. *There may also be manga in this list. This list is almost explicitly Isekai/gameworld anime/manga. This list also is not in temporal order. Isekai Quartet, Overlord, Konosuba, In another world with my smartphone, Rise of the Shield Hero, Log Horizon, 'Don't you love your Okaa-san and her two-hit attacks?' - a game Isekai anime featuring a son and his mother being Isekai'd into a game, where the mother character is absurdly OP at AOE attacks, and the son is merely able to attack individual targets, And a dozen or so manga/novels which had leaped onto the bandwagon of being stuck in a (former) gameworld or being sent to a world with lightweight game-esque elements to help transition, or the likes - though I don't recall the specific names of all of those.

I decided yet again to ramble - again, since I feel like I've got little to nothing better to do. Before I begin, a 'news update' on what I've been up to on Destiny 2: -Got Thorn thanks to my Clan helping me. Now, onto the first 'article' of my rambling today: Social media sites like FB, Twitter, etc... to me are a source of procrastination and unpositive emotional energy as of this last week in the continuing pandemic - being also used as a shield for known governing bodies to commit changes that will likely violate many rights, and nobody would bat an eye - save for the ones protesting in large numbers about the rights of those of us with darker tones of the skin, which I can understand and, if I had actual power armour, would've considered supporting on the grounds of a universal human living standard being in need of reinforcement. I could go on a tangent from there regarding using prefabs and glasshouses and tents in conjunction to create comfortable inexpensive residence, but it would replace any other information I'd have on my mind as of now. Secondly, some better news. I've occasionally been trying to keep up-to-date with a number of manga and novels I read on Mangakakalot and Wattpad. This is one of them. If the image of it is displaced, I blame formatting. https://mangakakalot.com/read-cw3zk158504851642 Thirdly, regarding my own mental wellbeing: Nature's on the offensive again, wracking my logical mind with demands for a physical companion of the opposite sex when such a thing is technically 'not recommended' for obvious reasons. However, nature's raw strength and sheer power on it's own is actually managing a fighting chance against my own will wanting to wait it out. And it's caused me to be more spongy regarding emotions - which I've encountered before, but... not like this. Not only that, but my 'fantasy' regarding the ideal other is getting crazier. Me not minding her (if she even exists, and my logic is yelling 'no, they only exist in fiction!', while my hypothetical sector is proposing that it's still viable for-) sneaking into the home at absurd hours in ninja-silence, likely via my window, which I left open for clean air reasons despite the cold temperature currently. I still deem myself relatively sane/sound of mind. But not of body. Very. Certainly. Not. The worst part? No cure~ (for this mental thing)! Yay! (Wait no!) [DOOM Revenant shriek noise]. Nutshell: -Got an Exotic in Destiny 2. Tried it in Sorrow's Harbor, Gambit, and a bit of Crucible. Keeping it on my Warlock. -Social media sites aren't the best place to look for stuff to warm up your heart right now. Look back at that cute black-and-green anime-style girl I found earlier. -Hormones/nature/libido on the 'need mate' mode again and it's frustrating my logic, will, and conscience with how difficult it is to hush (every time).

So I decided of the spur of the present to write another idle rambling. Topics I'll skitter over: Dating sites and my experience so far, The System, NPCs IRL (subject to interpretation). Dating sites etc... -So far, I've managed to find one. ONE person who actively reciprocates my messages. Details available on request, some info will be withheld for their safety and mine. -Anyone ever get frustrated when someone upvotes you and doesn't even bother reading your profile? It's no different from upvoting a YouTube vid without watching it at all, or a post anywhere without reading it's contents! Why do people not consider the blurb when they observe a book nowadays?! -Lots of dead/derelict/'ghost'/bot profiles. I will tell you what sites if you ask me about them. The System, the current political power, etc... -Are a complete mess, circa 199X. -Continue to lie to the public and get away with it. -Makes me wish I was actually Rennik Sadorn himself about 20% of the time. (Then again, the character of Rennik Sadorn has a Band of Misfits which amounts to a divergence from your ordinary 'harem Isekai anime' concept because of me having played games like World of Warcraft back during Burning Crusade/WoTLK). -Sure, you can let a human in to fix your [inanimate], but for [mental/natural relief/relationship progression]? Not at all. Funniest bit is they can't actually enforce this as a law, and it no doubt violates a number of rights. -Is slow to enforce lockdown and is now giving mixed messages (public gatherings of up to 6 outdoors while maintaining distance; schools re-opening, and yet you can't invite a friend to your place (see above)). NPCs IRL. -The public in general seems to be like this, but that's my cruel observation, and I yearn for it to be disproven with long-term good ocurrences. I wish I could be wrong, but they're more concerned about getting crumpets of all things to the top 10 on Twitter. Sure, it's amusing and made me laugh for the better half of 5 seconds, but does it fix anything? Summary: In addition to social media giving more, generally speaking, '2012-level' of end-of-the-world-sounding content, all of this really drives home a feeling of - while I'm used to this because I game and read manga digitally and watch anime online, etc... Well, it just feels a bit lonely. Sure, I have family here, but it's not the same as someone who's unrelated to me and could develop into a significant other - or even realize that lucid dream, and other absurd notions, I have rambled about prior. This was written on a PC during a moment where I thought 'nothing better to do, better ramble since at least one person reads this and might find some amusement therein?'. But seriously. A number of governing bodies need a rigid and strongwilled 'overseer committee' to ensure people don't make the mistakes of the likes of the meme'd/'popular' [Devilled Shrimp] and [Boring Jokes-on] (for examples) and actually focus on the reason a governing body is a governing body: To serve as a conflux, a voice, of the will of the people. Not for their own agenda. Not for their own plans, unless those coincide with what the people want. Which leads to a new tangent: My idea for a governing system. In a future that could be but hasn't been, should be but is being repressed, etc... ...This is the system. Instead of voting for a faction and settling for half of what you want because politics, you'd be able to cast a vote to a long list of things. There would be several lists, handed separately: -Spending. The total votes gleaned will influence the distribution of available resources. This includes currency. -Laws. The votes will influence what laws may be considered at the time. It would be publicized what laws are being considered, what the laws do, how those laws were made, etc... -Actions. The votes here influence what takes priority, and would constrict what the government can do down to what the majority votes offer. War will only be on the list if reasoning is impossible, and in this world, reasoning is always possible. For the most part. These three vote-lists would be cycled through until an individual has voted on all three. Ideally, this voting system would occur four times a year, allowing the public to change their mind on any action being taken, and proactively influence the government in a way that is more effective than words, and more negotiable than having factions like it is now since you won't have a 'cult of personality' problem. I apologize for this politically-deviated ramble, but it was what was on my mind. I hope you found it of interest, o' reader mine~.