Confessions

Yes, I agree. From being on the other side of it, if I had a girlfriend who had a friend that I hated, but was otherwise harmless, I would just leave the room every time she entered, then return when she left. I'm not going to force my GF not to be friends with someone just cause I don't like them though. Likewise, I'm perhaps a little too fair when it comes to arguments between friends and romantic partners. There are times where I will side with a friend, and times where I will side with the girlfriend if they break out in an argument, but regardless of the resulting fall out, Its childish to cut ties with either one or the other just because they don't agree with each other.

I learned years ago even if the guy is cruel and abusive you can't tell your friend he is bad and they need to break away. They turn on you regardless of the evidence. Relationships is one thing you should never interfere with.

I've been on both ends of reason, and I'm not proud of it. People don't like going against their own choices. They try their best to reason out the choices they've made. This is human psychology. Even when the choice is simply picking what's behind Door #1 or Door #2, this fact still remains, the person will tend to stick to their original choice, even if a more promising prospect comes about such as Door #3. To compound this basic principle with the investment of time and emotion makes it truly hard to accept that the choices you made were wrong. Some of the reasons might even be valid, which makes it only more difficult to reason. Of course they're going to want to spend time with the person they love. They're hoping that they'll be together for the rest of their lives, and they're going to want to work on that to make sure it doesn't fall apart or fizzle out. Friends should at least try to understand this, that their friendship isn't being thrown out by the active desire to throw it out, but there may be neglect out of the priority of establishing a life long relationship. Perhaps you intend your friendship to be lifelong, but certainly you could take a back seat for your friends attempt at love, just for a while until they feel comfortable again. Of course you should look out for your friend regardless, and tell them when you're concerned, but do so with evidence and not with feeling, as you can't convince someone that your feelings are more valid than theirs.

Just when i thought i was done having to stress over tests i get hit with 1200 pages of testable material which i have 4 months to study then test on something....may i also add my career is on the line

But when someone is picking fights and bullying your friend yet the friend sides with the lover who I'd the bully that's just hurtful. People have a tendency to do that for some reason, or say this doesn't involve them go somewhere. Once i learned a guy I wanted to date who is my friend did that when another person in our group of friends started picking fights with me just cuz he didn't like my religion. Short version: my likeness for him degraded to just mere friendship after he kept saying don't involve me and go somewhere else to fight. I confess if I ever have a bf he must care enough to stand up for me. Even if it's a friend of his picking fights with me. If he doesn't then it's a sign I can't trust him.

@kameiya here is the thing if that person is a good friend to them and has always been there, then why would he side with you? People get together and break up all the time so if he gets into it with his friend over you and things dont work out later down the line now he lost a friend and gf. Edit: this is about your bf comment not the bullying one

Here's a bit of truth that a lot of people would never understand about a mere zombie like me. When it comes to being a kid when I tried to protect people it turned out to be a facade just for someone to want to put their hands on me because I was handicapped. It seems the more I protect people was the more trouble I got into. The more I wanted love was the more hatred people had for me. Let's set the stage shall we: African American little boy, always smiling and never think about what's the best rap music or who is on BET next. He loved anime more than other things in his area would like, but as things changed more things stay the same. His town was a tourist attraction well many people try to escape from it but had no hopes or dreams of doing so without breaking a few rules. It felt like everything around him what's a poison. He rather stayed with his father and stayed with his lustful mother who barely acts her age. When he's with her it feels like he is stuck in a cage trying to bash the door open as there is no key. We all have a horrible past but when it came to having a knife to your neck, a blade to your eyes, having to fight people to survive moments that could kill, nearly fell out of a two story window, watching your brother's father beat down your mom as if she was a Piata, even getting beaten up but camp counselor and having your eyes swell up like a balloon just because he was taller and older and very much stronger....... The pain was unbearable from the years that this boy had to go through all of this. But the worst pain that he had to go through was the beatings that his mother put him through that would even put him into a State of Shock in the point where he would piss on the floor like a dog. That boy was me and I'm still surviving now that I finally became free.

Here's a bit of truth that a lot of people would never understand about a mere zombie like me. When it comes to being a kid when I tried to protect people it turned out to be a facade just for someone to want to put their hands on me because I was handicapped. It seems the more I protect people was the more trouble I got into. The more I wanted love was the more hatred people had for me. Let's set the stage shall we: African American little boy, always smiling and never think about what's the best rap music or who is on BET next. He loved anime more than other things in his area would like, but as things changed more things stay the same. His town was a tourist attraction well many people try to escape from it but had no hopes or dreams of doing so without breaking a few rules. It felt like everything around him what's a poison. He rather stayed with his father and stayed with his lustful mother who barely acts her age. When he's with her it feels like he is stuck in a cage trying to bash the door open as there is no key. We all have a horrible past but when it came to having a knife to your neck, a blade to your eyes, having to fight people to survive moments that could kill, nearly fell out of a two story window, watching your brother's father beat down your mom as if she was a Piata, even getting beaten up but camp counselor and having your eyes swell up like a balloon just because he was taller and older and very much stronger....... The pain was unbearable from the years that this boy had to go through all of this. But the worst pain that he had to go through was the beatings that his mother put him through that would even put him into a State of Shock in the point where he would piss on the floor like a dog. That boy was me and I'm still surviving now that I finally became free.

Yea, you shouldn't be forced to pick between one of the other. Most people will usually pick their partner over a friend.