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Girls only like jerks (stop using this excuse, grow a pair and read on)

MaiOtaku Forums > Relationship Advice > Girls only like jerks (stop using this excuse, grow a pair and read on)
megitsune

I guess in retrospect i just have a hard time dealing with rational/theory thinking when i desire a parter who is emotional/practical. That causes me to dislike guys i suppose.

shinu

Men are typically more disagreeable than women. Not always by a lot, and not all men follow that rule, but in general that is the case. It's a trait they're encouraged to take advantage of, so they can propel themselves further in their careers, by not tolerating when they're being taken advantage of.

But in terms of intelligence and conscientiousness, men and women are practically the same. Emotions aren't a separate factor, however being agreeable covers feelings of compassion and the act of nurturing, which is where most people typically feel that men lack in emotions, since they're high in disagreeableness and they treat regard themselves higher.

In today's society we have quite the social phenomenon, which muddles this up a bit as a significant amount of people are trying to change themselves in ways that aren't in line with their own genetics.

Instinctively women go for the providers, which genetically speaking are those disagreeable men. This is why "girls only like jerks", though it's quite a bit more complicated than that. It just means girls, on average, don't like men that let themselves be pushed around, and they want an assertive partner as compared to a docile partner, and instinctively they see success from that behavior, but perhaps not seeing all of the other determining factors in life that separate our instincts from our chances of success. Again, the social phenomenon fluctuates this quite a bit, but at it's base this remains typically true. The ones that don't follow this aren't necessarily "outliers", as it's more common than that to deviate a bit. It's just an average.

orangecatcow

/he said she said

smh arguing over somthing so petty

daggerfella

Well it is true, for the most part. However, it should not be used as an excuse.

There ARE Psychology studies behind this, and the reason is Confidence and those who USUALLY embody this trait between the ages of 13-25 are Narcissists. These are people who show prominent levels of self-importance, superiority, entitlement, arrogance, and a willingness to exploit others – are often perceived as very attractive in first encounters. This may be because they put a lot of effort into their appearance and how they come across. Studies have shown that female narcissists tend to wear more make-up and show more cleavage than women who score lower on narcissism, while male narcissists spend more time building up their muscle mass.

In the very short term, narcissists can even seem more well-adjusted, entertaining, and nicer. Narcissists often make a good first impression because they act outgoing, for example, they take the lead in conversation in an effort to impress people and get attention. But THIS is not true for long term relationships. you notice from ages 14-24, women tend to date jerks and go through boyfriends faster than a virgin goes through tissues on a lonely night. Over the long term, narcissists find it difficult to maintain a favorable impression and tend to be perceived as less adjusted, less warm, and more hostile and arrogant. Not surprisingly, the evidence shows that narcissists do not like long-term, committed relationships and do not do well in them anyway.

There may be all sorts of other reasons why some people end up dating “bad people”. They could be repeating patterns of behavior they have become used to in past relationships or they may find the world of dating stressful and end up making bad decisions. The sad thing about this is that so many women like these kind of guys, get jealous that they are not getting dates when they are not popular or become jaded in their old age and BOTH tend to become Anti-Male as a result.

Do not use it as an excuse, use it to gain experience in your own appearance and how you present yourself, confidence will come to you. It is a gradual thing but it will come to you, how do you think narcissistic men got their confidence? they put time and effort into yourself. Trim up your beard, line it up, cut the lose hairs. get a nice haircut and put some effort into your hygiene and what you wear. and STOP looking down when you walk, looking straight on forward shows more confidence than you think it would! Your own Confidence will come to you. Just do not give up

TL:DR

Girls on average like guys who take charge and during the early 20s, the LARGEST portion of men who embody this trait are the guys who are douche-bags who treat their girls bad. They see these men as those who take charge and seem more mature. Additionally, these types of guys are hard to keep in a long-term relationship as women are unsatisfied with them in the long term. This is the leading cause of Anti-Male Stereotypes because of the types of men women date for their first 10-15 years of dating.

Do not use it as an excuse, use it to gain experience in your own appearance and how you present yourself, confidence will come to you in time.

solid_snake95

Yooo I am a confident nice guy. Juuuuust saiyan. No one out there nearly as attractive as me or awesome. ;)
Btw I know how to bake.

solid_snake95

We both know how to put a bun in the oven if you catch my drift ;p
Lol

solid_snake95

Seriously though guys being confident in yourselves is the most attractive quality in a man that women look for. Just knowing what you want and not backing down in making a decision. It doesn't matter what you look like.
To put it in a way that makes sense it goes to animal behavior...no female lioness is gonna want a depressed male lion who always falls behind in the pack and doubts himself, because it would lead to him dying. They want a strong leader type that can survive in any scenario for breeding purposes. Charles Darwinism at it's finest.
Now fellas you need to look at yourselves in an optimist point of view. Glass water half full not empty kinda deal. If you don't like yourself then be who you feel you are and love that! Women will come to you being attracted to that newfound confidence.

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