Whats your worst fear?

What my legacy will be or lack there of. I don't care about what the world thinks, I will cease to be for many in less than a generation , but my children... What am I leaving them? I'm not worried about finances, I am but a poor man lol, but what will I BE to them. I guess, that's something I will mold within myself. I just want what I didn't know, a close family. FAMILY. I have no hate towards my own family, but the closeness just isn't there. Again, it's on me to make it viable and up to them to see it as such. This world is a scary and unforgiving place, I just hope I can provide a place of sanctuary and wisdom.

I don't honestly know what I fear anymore. Death? I do mediumship and had a roommate into necromancy, and a brother on the other side. Kinda know what it entails, and it doesn't bother me. Life? Well, it ain't great, but I've never regretted being alive. I like learning about this place. Pain? Eh, kidney stones suck, but it is what it is. Emotional pain? I actually want to feel it again. The good and the bad. Skinwalkers? Come on man, those are humans, and their transformation is not as physical as it looks. It's a result of increasing the condensation of the aura, and shaping it to where it is visible in the physical. Just poke em with iron. In that state, it could kill them. Those entities people claim are skinwalkers? Bro, etheric native elementals are just the fauna on the other side. Some are more bark than bite. I think their chimera-like bodies are kinda cool. Demons? Trust me, I'm waiting for one that doesn't run away like a pussy as soon as I flare up my aura and focus the intent to harm onto them. Ghosts? What about them? They're just as human as the living. Murderers? Maybe, but if I have no way out, I'm going to go for some disfiguring injuries of my own. My martial arts instructor taught me to go for the eyes, the throat, and the groin. Not kicking the balls, raking them. I've always been a petty and vindictive person when it comes to self defense. Love? Not really. Just cause I stopped craving it doesn't mean I can't give it. Nihilism? Meh. Existentialism? Meh. Snakes and spiders? I love animals. Being hated? Sure, that kinda sucks and all, but I have friends too. I used to fear all of those things at one point. That is the curse of knowledge. To understand.

My worst fear is failure. I'm such an insufferable perfectionist with a ridiculous side effect of Imposter Syndrome that failure is not an option.

My fear is actually getting to the point on giving up on life. I've always been a strong person, always had to be the bigger person out of those around me and deal with constantly. Lately I find myself wondering what the point is anymore and if happiness truly exists. My ideal happiness is finding a quiet place and being at peace with myself but life sometimes doesn't give you a break.

@notpurple Hi. Living, walking example of what that's like. I'm well past that point, actually. Giving up doesn't mean you end it. Giving up means you grow numb to life. Despite what nature intended, you continue to exist. You stop seeking the yearnings and cravings you had in life. Then you start to realize it never would have made you happy anyways. You loose ambition in your hobbies and creative interests. That part, I still miss. You act merely out of minimal obligation and empathy. But you are no longer seeking approval or attention through it. When you find yourself helping someone, it's instinctive. The mask you thought you didn't own, much less wear in front of others suddenly falls to peices, and you could tell that others are aware. You start to loose your filter. But not your diplomacy or emotional intellect. Now recently what I'm discovering is I am starting to care again about these superficial games we play in our minds and with others in our orbit. But it's different now. Because I know who I am. I never truly lost anything. Even my inner passion is starting to come to the surface again. Now if you're talking about ending it, then I won't tell you not to, but I do have some cursed knowledge to better educate you on what to expect. Hi again, I do a lot of ghost hunting and take this with a grain of salt, but I have partial context conversations with a lot of dead people in my dreams, through dowsing, Shoddy (but getting better) mediumship, and through empathic connections. This is in addition to more tangible tools like flashlights, emf, shifting frequency radios, and cat balls. The idea is to look for intelligent responses across multiple mediums, electronic and mundane. Since yes or no questions are the easiest to verify, since they come through non-subjective means like a cat toy lighting up in response to questions and stuff like that, one thing we learned rather quickly was that in death, you don't escape anything. Except maybe the brain chemicals, and biological senses like taste, touch, smell, and kinda-sorta sight. (The etheric and astral bodies have their own ways of perceiving.) The best way I could describe it in astral projection is, it will feel like one of those dreams where everything feels more real than a normal dream, but when you awake, you realize the sensations of touch are subdued, where as emotion is felt much more strongly. A profound emotional dream may stay with you for a lot longer than the usual emotional head spaces we experience while lucid and awake. That's what it's like for the discarnate. Yet without the cognitive brain to aid you, you get mired in that emotion for much longer. Hence why some of them look to us to help them process pain or grief. They're outsourcing it. One of the wierdest cases I had in Fairfield County Infirmary was the sensation of a rope around my neck. I could tell it wasn't trying to do me harm, so i let down my shielding and tried to help her. Now a normal person has every right to freak out when that kind of sensation comes over them. To me, it is what it is. Just like life.