Overprotective Parents

Anyone stuck with this kind of parents? Any suggestions on how to encourage them to let you leave their "nest"? If this question isn't fitting in "Serious Talk" or not even MaiOtaku, move or delete it.

My parents are overprotective...They don't hope I leave the hometown ( ¬_¬)...But they cannot confine me to that place.I am living in a city that is far away from my hometown now.They also want to marry me off to a local guy via blind dates＜local ..I mean...my hometown＞,but they can't put that plan into practice because I rarely visit them.I understand them.To them＜traditional, illiterate hard-working Chinese parents＞,those are best ways to protect me and to ensure me a happy life.They are responsible parents. I have my own life, I feel too bad to be oppressed by the whole society ＜Asian society doesn't treat women well＞.As a result,I plan on escaping from what the old call "duties".

Yep. I have a lot of experience in this. You need to be able to stand up for yourself. In the situation that I have been in is fairly unique for several reasons, I couldn't exactly just get up and leave. That would cause far more problems than the issues it would be solving. So it's all about getting the proper timing and determination to make your life your own. That is how I see it anyways.

My parents are also overprotective, or better known as "helicopter parents". As Enki mentioned, Asian parents are very "traditional". I had many people advice me on how I can resolve this matter. Most of them said: - confront them - once able to, leave em But these advice would ultimately lead to me having very poor relationships with my parents. My goal is not to ruin the relationship, but make it so that they are not overprotective. What works for me is to prove it to them that you are able to take care of yourself. I don't mean to tell them what you can do, but show it through your daily actions. examples: - I had a strict curfew that usually ended me staying home after school. I choose to do night school, which overthrew the curfew. It a method to tell my parents that I can't abide to your strict rules because I'm trying to become better (education-wise). - They didn't want me to move out and live on my own after university. I pay for the groceries and cook dinner despite still going to university. I showed them that I can take care of myself. I just want to state that you do not want to resolve this matter rashly. You'll end up feeling guilt and have damage your relationship beyond repair. This takes time, and a lot of will-power.

I have a tiger mum so she has been very controlling and protective over me my entire life plus all the traditional Asian women standards that she throws on me. I understand that my parents don't want me to leave because there is a tradition that generations are suppose to grow together in a single household and my parents were forced to leave China to provide for their own family at a young age so they know how difficult it is to survive on your own. I personally plan to move out when I get a job, internationally if possible so I don't try to rely on them. I think that if you show them that you are capable of taking care of yourself, it would be a start. No matter what your family says to make you stay, you are your own adult that can make their own decisions.

... Well, my Chinese parents weren't like that hahaha. I mean, I moved halfway across the country by myself for college without my parents really freaking out over it and now that I've moved back in for grad school, my folks are like counting down the days until I get out again lol

I had a former classmate (not sure if he still is a friend depending on him) who's parents were overprotective enough to not let any visitors including me in their house. After I lost my only big brother in his car crash against a driveway brick decoration, my father, mother and stepmother became way too overprotective to let me drive and I was a hikikomori (look it up) and sometimes a night owl (night shifter). I was usually like, "Can I drive?", and when they said no, I quit asking them for weeks to months. I never could practice driving. Although my father and stepmother suggested me to drive simply back and forth in their driveway, it wasn't enough. In July 2016, not sure if he really helped much, but an Aspie from a local Aspie group encouraged my father and stepmother into letting me register for driving school, and despite getting 1 point above failing (or close call passing) along with another Aspie student next to me, I did quite well in later tests, earned Driver's License that August, then got my first car that September. And since then, although I had a few close calls in avoiding accidents, I never wrecked. I never even got pulled over since then. But one thing I must have maybe is an Aspie label on my seat belt so no dirty moves from a cop occurs. As for going on flights, my parents are still not relaxed enough to let that happen if I go alone at this time, but maybe they will relax real soon.

Ahhhh no. As long as I check in on them once in a while to be sure I'm(and they) are still alive and well, I'm pretty much left to my devices. Even as a kid they trusted me to make my own choices and supported me as long as I was straight with them. So I can't really relate.