Am I doing something wrong?

A VERY common issue of why girls ditch dudes on this site was openly verified by a girl in this thread, shieksdee... shieksdee: "As a girl the main problem I see on this site is.......guys trying to rush me..." John: "You gotta get girls to meet you irl AS SOON AS POSSIBLE"

Offering plans for a meetup is not the same thing as pushing her to date you. One just has to be casual about it and be able to take "no" or a non-answer for the answer it is - as well as being gracious about it. I've met up with two women from Maiotaku at local conventions and we hung out and enjoyed ourselves. We didn't even chat here on MO for very long before meeting. The main thing to keep in mind is that every woman moves at her own pace and not all of them are demisexual. But none want to be pressured, of course.

Meeting up at a convention has different implications than meeting at a coffee shop xD Especially considering that there are threads for mutual meet ups at conventions, and some girls have publicly asked if anyone else is going to X convention. That's more along the grounds of a friendly meet up to go do something that an individual might not have anyone else irl to go with. I'm pretty sure no girl is gonna make a public request of "Hey are there any guys that wanna meet me at my local Starbucks?" To have a brief casual conversation with a girl, then suddenly be like "Let's meet at the coffee shop" is an entirely different message that directly would fall in line with what a lot girls on this site complain about with thirsty dudes (from what I've heard from the girls I'm friends with here).

I’ve asked a few people on here about hanging out at a con but get told no or ignored lol so I have to rely on existing friends going and form a networking/introductions thing to make friends with no intention of dating them.

I fail to see the problem with coffee shops. They're public places, low pressure, not too loud, and an easy escape route should the meeting not go as expected.

A coffee shop is far more personal than a convention xD Besides, it's less about what/where the meet up is, and more about dudes pushing their romantic intents on a girl that doesn't want it. In the end, it doesn't matter if you, or john, or I fail to see the problem with something... cuz the issue is this: Guy: "Hi, you're cute and/or I like your cosplay. Did you make it yourself?" Girl: "Lol thanks. No I bought it." Guy: *OMG she's totally into me, it's time to make my move* "I love you plz be my waifu!" To give advice that you gotta make something happen ASAP or the girl will run away like she's a friggen Cactuar in FF is ridiculous.

Huh... I met up with my wife fast and we initially met online. Unless two weeks is slow. It's not a case of "OMG I LOVE YOU", it should be "Let's meet up and see where things go.". Online dating is just a way of figuring out if this person is someone you'd like to eventually meet. I never took longer than a week or two before suggesting coffee or something. It's not a rush to push romance, just seeing if its worth investing time/energy to try to even get to know the person like that. Would you take months or more sending letters only to find out when you do meet, it was all for nothing? A ten minute meetup will tell you more than weeks of typing, texting, phone calls or Skype. Of course, the time frame lays on the comfort of those involved, it's just what worked for me. The main thing is, respect boundaries, respect that no one owes you even a response and just respect them as a fellow human being. This site though...Yeah, you can't really do the fast meet thing. This site isn't really set up to truly focus on dating, but that's usually true of most niche "dating" sites.

"guys trying to rush me to date them without having an interest in getting me as a friend first, which is like mandatory". I totally agree with this.In fact,I'm a "victim" of this phenomenon to some extent(they are not interested in befriending anybody on this website though they have been on this website for a few years.Though I'm ideal in their mind,they can't handle the depth of me).I was so careless that I didn't realize that I was emotionally manipulated and gaslighted at that time.Useless compassion of mine.Even a person like me was shocked by their story. The light of my soul faded, but my sense of responsibility forced me to stay until they quit that "experiment".Their strategy: if they feel guilty about the past they will paint you as the bad guy by character assasination.