Suicide

Considered it before. Hardest time was when my brother died. But I live by the code, If you're still breathing, things can get worse. I'd rather be alive and suffering rather than dead. It's always darkest before the dawn after all. I just couldn't put my family through that so.

i dont know.. i mean i am not sure what happens after death, is it good or bad to die i am really unsure of. All i know is people fear death coz its the most mysterious "unknown" thing that happens all the time. Infact the possibility of nothingness(no afterlife, just empty non living entity) after death scares me to death too lol and so i would not want to die or suicide in any situation, whether my life would end up being bad or good i wouldn't consider suicide coz if nothingness is there after death then it is worse than any form of unpleasant experience that can occur in this world not to mention all sorts of the worse things than nothingness which is possible after death. I dont believe in heaven or hell so i dont include that in my judgement, but i do sometimes think its possible that we are in a virtual world designed to screen out humans or living entities suitable to live in the "real" world.. i dont know the criteria of selection into the real world but i do think its only logical that suicide would remove all your chances of proving yourself in the first place. in short... i wouldnt suicide no matter what, and would try my best to convince others in not ending their life either, there is always a future and who knows what is there for them.

Well, hell is certainly a factor. That’s not the main reason, to keep me from committing suicide. It’s the fact that the people I love and close friends ect- would mourn me. That makes me feel guilty. I hate the idea of my friends being sad and mourning me. I thought about it. If my friend died, I’d be devastated. I also don’t have access to anything harmful. Except knifes, but I’d prefer not to mutalate my body. Too painful. If I tried to sufficate myself, my survival instinct would kick in, so I wouldn’t be able to do that. I hate the feeling of suffocation. There’s guns, but again mutalation. I think there was even a guy who shot himself, and lived unscathed. There’s jumping, but you could just end up paralyzed, which would suck. There’s medication and drugs, but I don’t want to get addicted. There’s poison, but here would you get poison? I guess there’s bleach, but ew no. Bleach could just give intestinal problems and chemical burns. Monoxide can accidentally harm others. I guess it’s between cyonide and poison. Even that can go wrong. The success rate is not 100%. That means if I fail, it’d be super embarrassing. Non-successful attempts can lead to severe health implications, that’d make it even more miserable for some who tried and failed. Our bodies are designed to survive, so suicide might not even work. Although, the success rate is higher than the attempt rate. I’m not scared of death, but I’d probably wouldn’t go through with it. I’ve been on and off depression since 2013. That’s at least 5 years. It got worse at the end of 8th grade and progressed even more to this day. Basically getting worst, since the beginning of 2015. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t do it, but I can definitely understand why someone would try. People do things they hurt. I ran cross country, among doing other things, to keep myself busy. You can’t be depressed if you’re having fun, and being busy. At least, you might have fun on accident. There are options death being one, or dealing with it, but you’re not alone. Professional help is available with therapists or talk groups. Expressing yourself through reading, writing, singing, art, sports , music or other extra curricular activities can help. I don’t think of death as this scary thing, that needs to be feared. I think of it as a new adventure. It might not get better, or at least you might struggle with it your entire life. It may get better. But nothing is gaurenteed, and life’s not always fair. You have to deal with the cards you’re dealt with. Just make sure that if you’re going to do anything drastic, you need to do the research. The choices you make now, will effect you for the rest of you’re life. Make sure you’re making the right choice. Otherwise, it might come back to bite you in the butt. Be aware of the consequences of your actions.

The most I've ever delved into the subject on a personal level (Not including supporting people who have attempted it), were basic contemplations and explorations of the subject in my own mind. But I'm usually in a healthy mental state when I dwell on the subject so I've never felt as though I was going to attempt it. If anything, I think its actually healthy to consider your own mortality. At best, it helps you appreciate life more. But even when I'm in the pit of depression, I've always kinda felt it was an impractical way of getting a point across. That's the thing about depression though. It lulls us to take a strange and contradictory comfort in the apathy of a downward spiral, as the brain's attempt to proactively act on whimful decisions the same way we do when we are happy and relaxed would be problematic for survival if in a depressed state. Not all forms of depression do this however, as sometimes wires actually do get crossed, or people are pushed to certain extremes, but I digress. I don't judge anyone for attempting or considering it, but I am glad you guys are still with us. I've lost enough people in my life.

Also, take it from someone who practices psionics, and has experience with spirituality and the occult. (And as usual, take that with a grain of salt, you heard it on the internet. I only say this to clarify a world view I hold and experience on a daily basis, not for attention or to impress anyone.) I can't say whether a heaven or hell exist, as I'm not the kinda medium that does crossovers. So I'm not going to be preachy or perpetuate any scare myths or religious propaganda. What I can say is that I am plugged into the more localized energies of the area I am in, and I can definitely tell what happens to an area when someone exits the world on their own accord. Its very rare that they leave "whole". Even if this doesn't result in a haunting where in the soul is unable to move on, the general displacement and pollution of negative energy left there does tend to attract less desirable "Thought Form Entities" who may feed or bathe on these energies. These said entities may end up following you after becoming accustomed to your resonance. I've seen some rather ugly things result from that, even long after the act happened. You're always leaving echoes, and those echoes do affect the world. In this case, its more of a metaphysical level. Do I expect you to believe me on this topic? Nope. Not without proof, or experience with the subject matter, anyways. But I feel it would be unfair to anyone if I didn't say it. Remember kids, knowledge is power. Do your soul a favor, and don't get into that kinda trouble, especially if you already have it hard now.

Honestly, yes. I have felt like doing it several times in the past. It's um... Yeah, it's really not nice. When even the smallest, simplest things in life don't go your way or when particular people you love let you down in the most depressing ways possible then it's surprisingly easy for that thought to cross your mind. It's a bit shit really but I've gotten good at managing bad thoughts like that o/