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Reoccurring Theme

goldenepitaph
I mean...I already know this is not REALLY a dating site at this point. But putting that aside for a moment, I find it strange that this is supposed to be a dating site yet there's quite the reoccurring Anti-Female theme. Both directly and indirectly; whether it be someone outright criticizing women in general or...Someone speaking about women in an objectifying, materialistic, “I am enlightened and you are lost” kind of attitude. Or the sheer lack of consideration for a females feelings in general. I don’t get the game plan. “I am here for a relationship so I am gonna act like trash.” Its a lot of…I want this and that in a women, with nothing to offer in return. These look a lot more like job applications, rather than someone trying to reach out and form a loving bond. A lot of people feel like they were somehow endowed with common sense and thus hold the exclusive right of being capable of passing it out. Exhibit A: “Sure biology holds them back and there programming makes them less likely to take a risk but it can be overwritten” Exhibit B: “Men have the privileges and power because they're the ones who build empires, houses and communities.” Exhibit C: “Most women are just too lazy and expect handouts. It's a shame that there is not much support for men yet TONS of support for women.” Exhibit D: "What's expected of women? Not being fat and maybe not be a bitch, and far too often they refuse to do even that much." Exhibit E: "Most guys really aren't that picky, but women most certainly are to an insane degree." What about this behavior seems attractive? I mean sometimes its not so much the words thats unattractive as much as it is the arrogance in the words like...The sheer lack of doubt for these claims... That said. There are some great people on this site for sures. Some. But they are a rare breed…For sures. Definietly not saying everyone is like this, just seems like the people that are like this are heavily concentrated on this site. It’s a reoccurring theme. TL;DR This dating site sure isn’t a welcoming site for females. (As seen in the ratio..) Edit (4/7/2018)
infernalmonsoon
I've been on this site for a good few years now and you're absolutely right when you say this is a recurring theme among a certain subset of males in particular. I don't really know what causes this behaviour but it's incredibly jarring these people seriously believe it'll make girls swoon for them. My guess is these people are either your typical weirdos who can never attract a girl in their life and are salty about it, delusional to the point where they think all girls crave them no matter what they say or they're just fucking nuts. And when all else fails, they start pestering girls for sensitive stuff like nudes in the creepiest way possible and it's just... *sigh* I don't blame anyone for leaving if those people are their first experience of MaiOtaku because these people are out of control. But that being said, there's absolutely plenty of great, lovely men and women on this site without a doubt who are looking for friends and potential partners in the most honest way possible and they're certainly not hard to find if you know where to look in the forums and search functions. It's just a matter of sifting through who's worthy of your time so don't worry, you and plenty others will find good friends and possibly a potential partner in no time :)
jtibbs
I dislike seeing all the hate for women here just because guys have a bad experience with them or because they can't find a girlfriend. They usually never place blame on themselves as though they've always been the victim, and honestly I'm not sure what they're here for other than friends. If you want to be here for friends thats fine, but keep opinions about an entire half of the human race to yourself. You're wrong to generalize all of them as if you've met every type of person. #getoveryourself! But I wouldn't go so far as to say its the majority here. Its like they say, those who scream the loudest are heard the most. Doesn't make them majority.
muffster
Mar 29, 18 at 10:33am
This account has been suspended.
thrilling_stranger
I haven’t been part of MO for as long but I can seee where you’re coming from. Within the first couple days of being on MO, I could see that the ratio of men to women was clearly male dominant. Some of the forum topics that I’ve glossed over have been about men wanting something specific from women. Bearing the fact that the community is relatively male dominant, a lot of the things you’ll browse will be male opinionated and not tasteful to female interests. In addition to this, this is the internet. Some of the internet social behaviours will bleed into the conversations being had. This can include memes or stereotypical otaku phrases (I.e. your Waifu is trash). Or you can get the real short end of the stick and have internet trolls just sign up and waste your time (I’ve experienced two trolls). Ultimately, if you’ve signed up for the dating aspect of this site, you’re better off approaching members of MO individually because that’s going to be your best chances at have a decent conversation with an individual. Just be sure to give their profile a quick look to see if they’re not a troll.
gundamu
*shrug* I hate to sound super condescending but I have noticed with some guys that there is like a certain air of entitlement when it comes to dating and it's not even only here, I've seen it everywhere. For example I've seen a few dudes make excuses like: "women don't like me because I'm fat" but then also proceed to say stuff like "Fuck women, I'm going to work out and get fit and reject all of them when they come crawling back to me" which is great and all but it really begs the question if it's really only their body that's holding them back from finding a girlfriend or is it less physical factors such as their personality, lack of self-confidence, or just simply how they carry themselves and interact with others. I mean I'll be real, I've been pretty fat since I was in middle school but I never really had trouble still attracting girls. I mean don't get me wrong I still had plenty of bad experiences and I went a quite a long time being single simply because I just felt I couldn't find the right one since I'm very serious when it comes to dating but at the end of the day if you just carry yourself with confidence, can hold a conversation, and treat everyone with respect it won't take much time at all to get a few admirers who might possibly end up being the SO you crave. Though that's just a personal anecdote, everyone's different. :u But yeah honestly I'd say things aren't THAT bad on MO in terms of that sort of stuff, I've definitely seen worse in terms of just general female-bashing in other places. There's just a large amount of male users who frequent the forums so it's inevitable to find those types of topics.
infernalmonsoon
^^^ He's right, fat guys can be attractive too as long as they have a good personality and plenty of confidence in themselves.
taiyou
Mar 29, 18 at 12:47pm
Hmm, I think I have waited long enough observing so I'll give my, and probably going to be unnoticed, two cents. A lot of the problem comes not just from self entitlement. But just from being jaded from being rejected. And I don't mean those who are vindictive saying, "Well fine, I'll just reject them when I become attractive," but also the ones who consider it to be a biological flaw on their (the Females part) I'm not going to discredit or invalidate biology as an argument point, but I agree with Golden here that it is a bit much to use as a basis to say there is something "wrong" with someone. Not everyone follows their own biology. I agree that in my experience I have had girls give "hints" that amounted to nothing (because we as guys are oblivious and dumb when it comes to that). Guys on the flip side, are often too aggressive, or too passive when it comes to it as well, and most are not in between. I think here is where i may offend a few people so bare with me. Traditionally speaking, those of the geek society are... Betas. That is not to say everyone is, but often that is how it works out. Oh, the girl you wanted went after the more popular guy? Who tends to get more dates than you? Even if you don't have the personality of a beta, by society standards at the time the female chooses, that is what you are. THIS is biology in a sociological setting. What just happened gets frustrating overtime, and that turns into bitterness. Which, this site full of mainly males with said issue, is BOUND to have. Possible fixes: 1. A better system for conversing, complete with other blocking or temporary muting mechanics. 2. Honestly nothing else. This site was originally portrayed to me as a dating site, and THEN a social site. It even has a matching system, albeit a loose one. But ultimately its the people here that make it what it is. Geek culture for the longest time had more male population than female, so pickings were slim already, then add to the fact this was originally a dating site, so mostly the single men will come here, and on the uncommon occurrence a female geek is single and comes here, the ratio is even FURTHER off. So not only is there an even steeper ratio, but now most of the higher ratio is jaded. Most guys will follow in a few categories at this point: The ones that accept just being able to be friends here, because they either have someone, decided to try and date in real life or locally, or just gave up on it altogether. The ones that feel entitled because they are nice to a girl, so they should have first dibs on dating here (nice guy syndrome). Or the ones that believe the women should change because nothing else works, and "would make things easier." As if dating or relationships as a whole (even friendship) is supposed to be nothing but smooth sailing even before it starts. All in all, the reason why this community is the way it is is because so many people are bitter about past experiences that they feel karma should throw them a bone, and while I can understand where they are coming from because of my last gf, and more recent... events in the past couple weeks >.> I also know, that being bitter in the open is like having an angry face when dealing with the public at a job, it tends to drive people away. TL;DR Its not welcoming for females, because the site as a whole being about geek culture, would have had more men in it anyway, men who were not having luck and are not happy with said unluckiness. It's just going to happen sadly, and I really don't like how Scathing some of the posts I've seen can be... and I've been here a while. (man am i long winded)
john_felix
This account has been suspended.
hikki758
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