I want to die

If you are going to kill yourself then do it, anyone who tells others they are going to commit suicide rather than just talk about their problems only does it because they want to see the reaction. You need weed

idk nyaro, sometimes you tell someone so you can say your feelings but if you truly wanted to die you would just do it

That is what suicide notes are for, if someone actually wants to die they wont care about what others think they would just do it, but if they are uncertain or just want others to care about their special snowflake needs they bring this up.

but some people have suicidal thoughts and feelings but dont want to act on them, so they go for others for help, aka saying they want to

Pretty much the same yeah, the older I get the more appealing death seems. Although in my case it's normal anime rather than hentai distracting me from life. That said, you seem a bit young to be calling it quits already. You've still got plenty of time to explore the world and find meaning in life, just gotta get out there and find it.