Girls only like jerks (stop using this excuse, grow a pair and read on)

Wait? People still think sociopaths do good in dating? https://media.giphy.com/media/13qN7SK3HSGp0I/giphy.gif Okay, that out of the way, time for a proper response.

"This is kind of a rant due to a conversation I had earlier I get so embarrassed for any guy that says this, I mean seriously grow a pair... what women generally want are some Alpha traits there is a big BIG difference from Alpha traits and Jerk traits. I know so many men that still live in their parents house, rarely go out and then complain when the do not receive the result, that they are not working towards." ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Sorry, I have to stop for a second and get a mini rant out. Now I agree with the point you're making. Women like assertive and effective men. And that's not really what triggered me. It's hearing terms like "Alpha" being thrown around kinda... Okay, Humans aren't alphas, betas, or whatever. Thats chimps. Human social dynamics don't work like that. Men and women were evolved to want and respond to different things, and you don't have to be the silverback gorilla to be found attractive by the female gender! Something unique among human attraction is the fact that both genders evolved to find a sense of humor attractive. They involved to find creativity and intellect sexy. They find social skills like diplomatic ability attractive. The key is to refine what you are good at and build your confidence up from that. And of course social skills help everyone greatly. Nobody is born with them, you have to develop them... By talking to people and practicing. Here's the part that I will agree with you on, although lets get one thing clear. Guys who whine due to rejection are doing that because rejection from a female does trigger a chemical depression in their brains, so its not as simple as growing a pair. But like you said, guys do need to have some grit. And usually the more experience a guy has at picking himself up out of depression, the easier it is to navigate rejection. And like normal social skills, you don't get good at it without practice. Anyways, onward. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ "I see a lot of guys who lack any confidence and say... I am just not a confident person.... well guess what confidence is a skill, and its a skill ONLY YOU CAN TEACH YOU... go out talk to a girl, talk to a lot of them. I don't mean go and try and get a date right away (though thats OK to if you want) but just learn to talk to them, learn the body language and the signals.... its not like women are some kind of freaking magical unicorn that if one rejects you then bye bye all magical unicorns forever.... they are just another person, and they could be just as nervous as you. Work on your posture, don't slump over like your a crippled preteen, do some pushups, some bodyweight squats, develop a confident body to support a confident mind Confidence is huge... and confidence like women is also not some magical unicorn, it is attainable." ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ I interoperate confidence as more of the brains way of weighing out accumulated experience based on successes and failures, risks vs reward, and that sort of stuff more than a skill. A skill can be built through failure. Confidence requires a bit of success to fully develop. And it doesn't apply to everything. Like I'm a confident HVZ player. I've been through the game, know and trust my abilities, and can weigh a situation and determine whether I should hold my ground against the zombie hunting party, or run based on several factors. When I first started playing this game, I was shaking in my boots, but still managed to act out of whatever bravery my body could summon just because I had to. If I kept dying within the first day in my first game, I would be a very different kind of player. Now I agree though, it does have to be something you DEVELOP confidence similar to a skill. Or more accurately you have to develop your skills and start getting some success with them, then confidence will come. The backlash of failure also lessons after you've had enough of both worlds to say "You know what? This doesn't really matter, so I'm moving on." By all means though, I agree that the key is not to become disheartened, and keep going. But yeah, the big problem with confidence is that people know it when they see it, but mistake it as a feeling when in fact the feeling of confidence is the result of the mind's calculation algorithm based on past experience, current skill, future reward, and/or risk. And yeah, I also agree that BOTH GENDERS need to study on social cues. Girls are a little better at it than guys, but still. I mean I get it. Our generation has never had anyone sit down and explain this stuff to us, and years of watching movies and tv shows wrongly explain to us how getting a partner works has left us with a lot of assumptions that simply aren't true. Also, yes to the squats and pushups, AND let me add to the advice. Doing exercise is a good way to help naturally overcome mental inhibitions just like physical ones. I mean people who get regular exercise and stay in shape are infact much more mentally healthy than people who don't. And that's not the better body. Not body shaming here, you can still be large, the key is just to be healthy. But people. You tired of using depression and anxiety as an excuse? Do pushups every time your mind starts trying to convince you of the worst possible outcome. A healthy body generally has more balanced brain chemicals. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ "Style, I appreciate mens style, and most successful people do. I do not mean you need to spend an entire months rent on clothing, but make sure your clothing fits appropriately and make sure it matches your body style, nothing to loose, nothing to tight, get a danged pair of decent shoes and match it to your wardrobe specifically to your belt" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Listen to the Captain! (I myself need to buy some new clothes. XD) ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ "STOP BEING AFRAID OF DIFFICULT THINGS....... Every single month I try to find something I suck at, and then I say I am gonna get GOOD at this, the human species evolved through struggle and its through struggle we grow, on top of this.... it allows us to develop our skills/knowledge/etc allowing us to become a MORE INTERESTING PERSON and EXTREMELY CONFIDENT" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ I full heartedly agree. No long winded additions are necessary here. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ "Work on being a better, kinder person. Now OK this is not something that is immediately apparent to a woman you may or may not be interested in, but its the right thing to do and it may help keep a good woman with you. But if you are gonna be a better kinder person you need to work on..... CONSISTENCY You cannot be kind on minute, or to one person then a jerk the next minute, or to another person. Build Kindness into your character, accept that it may be a struggle at times and dont confuse your own weakness for kindness, I dont mean dont stand up for your self, or act weakly you must consider this Consistency also means never allowing failure to stop you, girl rejects you OK great, I failed and I feel it. I guess that means I am still alive I am so thankful for the pain of rejection it reminds me I will be able to try again" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Right? Because women are evolved to notice traits like narcissism and psychopathy! I mean its not a superpower or anything, and these traits can take a while to figure out, but still, they will catch on eventually. Simply not being evil doesn't make you good, and I do commend those of you who do not act on base emotions, and show restraint. But true kindness is not simply being nice. Its a deeper connection you share with others. Its the ability to empathize and willingness to help alleviate the burden on others. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ "I am gonna edit this at a later point but to anyone that has ever used the girls like jerks excuse... stop being so lazy, fix yourself, and get results" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ I thank you for this post, it was fun to read through, add to, and comment on.

Fox Queen, guys tend to have an "every man for themselves" mentality with dating, so I doubt they care if they're discouraging boys or making things harder for them. I feel like OP has his heart in the right place, but his dudebro douchebag approach will for sure turn tons of people away. Fact is there's no sure fire method or trick to landing yourself what you're looking for, if there was no one would be on site's like this. Just gotta keep looking till you find what you're after, and I think it's best to just be yourself. If you pretend to be something you're not it'll just drive that girl away once the truth comes out. Best to find someone who likes you for the real you.

Most women I know want men, Not Little boys whom they have to babysit constantly, most sensitive guys I've met Typically are very insecure and usually put their women on some sorta pedestal. Contrarily, Most women I've met will try to test you for weakness or any other sort of liabilities, I mean I think it's a rational thing for people to do so - It's rational to believe that people will take a better deal if given one. The best way to keep a girl whom does such stuff is to hold your ground; be unapologetically yourself, even if it seems like she disagrees with you. Now if a man who is unsure or constantly makes mistakes or only agrees with girls to appease them; will instantly lose a woman's Respect, and once she doesn't respect you, the attraction/Love is done! Now I usually hears guys whom want women to be differently and be more caring - blah, blah, blah. Women are beautiful just as they are and any man should always be willing to accept a good challenge; "if it's easy - it won't be worth it, want it to last? Then you gotta earn it.", now I don't think anybody should be immoral or intentionally harms others, But nobody owes anyone anything, and to believe that anyone does would be a direct violation of their personal freedom. Typically I don't get mad when women size me up or try to impose standards, I as a man know myself better than anything, I respect myself more than anything, and when adversity or any obstacle come my way - I don't cry or complain, I laugh and accept the challenge; then I succeed or fail until I do. Men currently have to get out of that feminine mindset, You're a man; let her be the woman. You hold the torch and keep her warm, and she'll keep you warm, aswell as be your support to keep it upheld. And never being cheated on, You'll never know if anyone is being faithful or truthful; so it is useless to worry about such, a good quality woman will stick by your side and remain faithful aslong as you treat her well, respect yourself, and live your life for yourself, aswell as her, but even if she isn't quality - then she'll likely leave or leave for another, in which case there are far too many beauties out there to cry over one whom got away. Men, Act like men - be rough, loyal, and honest, but be compassionate towards your women, and don't forget to always court them, I served in the reserves; I think of a woman as a rifle, Treat her well and she'll never fail you, She'll always require work, but take pride in your work for her, love her as if your life depended on her, but fret not if she was an unreliable system to begin with - simply find a more reliable one to take care of. I could keep going on, But I think I got it, Just don't act like pussies guys. Be her rock, be her mountain. No woman wants to take care of her man like he is a scared and sensitive puppy They're conditioned that way.

Oh, and be real - women can sense bullshit, most deal with it daily from other guys.

Oh, and if you are ever feel abused or disrespected by a woman, don't put up with bullshit - be able to stick-up for yourself and politely correct her if she gets out-of-line or pushes your button, never hit a woman unless she hits you, but more-so correct her in a calm and loving manner, I.e; "Sweetheart, I love you. But don't ever talk like that to me again." Stay calm at all times, but make your point across with sincerity, and the mindset you'll gladly walk if she continues. She'll respect you if you respect yoursrlf., But Respect goes both ways, you respect her too.

You've never even thought about what I said, Okay so you prefer boys whom whine, complain or constantly insecure and unsure? That's your choice honestly - I'm just saying that nice guys will think you're the center of the world, confident are aware you aren't the center of the world. But if you wanna keep believing so - that's your funeral, I'm just saying, Confidence is earned not given; it is earned through overcoming your insecurities a fears or lack of knowledge, Confidence, not arrogance. I've had plenty of quality of relationships implementing this, sure they never worked out, but that's because people only can fit witch each other, nothing can be forced - just because a relationship doesn't mean anyone is imperfect or lesser, just means you both didnt fit. ^_^ But all ended on good terms and alot gave good feedback