How do you deal with not being good enough for someone?

Apathists need not apply. If you actually care about how someone feels about you and they reject you then it applies. So if you see them go for someone else, how do you handle that feeling that you weren't good enough? How do you cope when it bothers you so much that you didn't make them feel that way but that someone else did? Do you get jealous and start picking flaws off that other person to make yourself feel better? Do you start picking off flaws in yourself to try to explain it and maybe tell yourself there is something you can do to fix it? Do you just say that's life brush it off and try to get over it?

I'd say that it's less about not feeling good enough and eventually just accepting that you just weren't meant to be together. How I've handled rejection is literally just moving on from the starting point. Eventually rejection became something I was accustomed to and proceeded as if it was nothing. It's not about feeling inadequate it's really just about accepting the fact that you weren't meant to be. You start to think, would it be good for me to be with her? Would he/she be happy if I were with them or would it just satisfy my need to be in a relationship. Would I put to much time and energy into who they are, thus draining my own energy and making myself sick? I see it as an opportunity to learn. But that's just me.

They was I would deal with this would be to embrace the humility, if you care enough about the person that you just like to see them happy, then I'd consider just becoming friends with them and spending my time along side them with the goal to just provide happiness. If you want(ed) more then just a friendship then it'd need to be a mutual thing, and the best way to work on that would be through a friendship. I already have a low image of myself and since I'm quite pessimistic I don't expect much from my ventures, this gives me huge humility and pretty much prevents me from feeling that bad when things don't go my way, but on the flip side I don't feel good about things when events are neutral, so it's a double edged sword. If you think of yourself highly then I'd expect you to at least feel bad, and perhaps go through something similar to that of the seven stages of grief (Shock or Disbelief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining (usually entails attempting to convince yourself it's no big deal and doesn't matter), Guilt, Depression, Acceptance and Hope). Instead of Guilt you would probably feel jealousy though. One thing you need to remember is that you can change, and so can peoples opinions of you, if you work at it and play it smart you can shape yourself into a person more like what you want to be, now not anything is possible but you can at least attempt to create a you that the people/person that you strive for can appreciate. I've had one person in my life that I believe I was in love with (I'm still young, so it's not all that relevant) and I knew I wasn't good enough for her, I couldn't bring myself to pick flaws in who she was, nor could I be jealous of anyone she went with, all I could do was add it to the many other things I wanted but didn't get.

Can't please everyone. Sure, it might sting a bit, but unless it involves work, potential work or family, evidently they weren't good enough to accept me and I move on. Of course, really it just depends on what needs to be changed and why. Should I change to suit everyone? What if that just means they're not good enough for me?

From personal experience, I just kinda try to brush it off. I won't pretend its easy. Heck of course I'm prone to mope around for a bit. Rejection hits the brain chemicals hard. But its not like you can hold it against someone else. There isn't much you can do if someone simply prefers a different set of traits and genes than what you have to work with. Everyone has their preferences for what they feel they are looking for, and if you aren't it, well crap, that's not anyone's fault but biology. Its not your job to convince them that they SHOULD want you, because imagine if someone tried to do that with you. That being said, there is a difference in feeling lower value, and being lower value. In cases where you simply feel lower value, and you're with say an amazing girl who you have no idea why she has chosen you, just remind yourself that you don't get to decide that you're not good enough for her. She does. Not because she IS a higher value but because she has the right to decide who she likes, and if she's happy with you, that means you offer what she's looking for. In cases where you actually are "low value", the only thing you can do to raise that perceived value is to start making the right life decisions and healthy life habits. Just like Hopesedge said. Shape yourself into a person more like what you want to be, and put forth effort into learning the right skills to add value into the lives of others, rather than just yourself. If a girl rejects you because of your current "Value", go back to my first paragraph and start over. Or, better, turn off the computer, go outside, and change the world.

If I like someone and they're not interested in me, it's not a reflection on me, it's a reflection on them. It's not that I'm not good enough. They were never good enough for me. Who cares if they find someone else more attractive or whatever? I know my worth.

Cinamoon, I largely agree with what you're saying in the sense that it's a good, positive outlook; but just as I was reading that, my mind flipped it around and I felt compelled to ask: Does that also mean that if you're the one rejecting someone, you were never good enough for them? Or does it simply mean that regardless of whether you were the rejected or the rejectee (is that a word?), they weren't good enough for you? Not trying to be obstinant or anything; I just suddenly started musing over it and found that to be an interesting question.

just move on,if she does not love you ,just dont give a damn there alot of fish in the sea does waste your time begging for someone to love you it not worth it. Find someone that really love you for who you are ^^

It's easy to beat yourself up over such things. I think for a lot of guys on here, we've felt the sting of the friend zone on more than one occasion or have a girl say they're not interested in dating only to flip around a few weeks later and start dating some other guy. The best advice I can give a guy is to not beat yourself up over rejection, and when possible, use it as motivation for self improvement. I used it, in part at least, to lose the 30lbs I did in the last year. I feel a lot better about myself at a minimum even if I haven't had a ton of luck on the dating front still. At worst, you'll be a better person overall and be no worse off then you were when you were last rejected.